I know it's late, but a LIWeriffic weekend! TWOTY and Thomas Knoell

Yes, it was Saturday. Yes, it's now Wednesday. Yes, I am pathetic. What can I do? My boss has been all up in my business for DAYS, so posting has become a tactical issue. Thank goodness me makes multiple bathroom trips in a day, because otherwise, I'd never post.

Or like just now. My boss went out to lunch, so I settled in for a nice post. Instead, a constant stream of people have stopped by my desk to chat. How can I politely tell them that I have posting to do? I have been sitting here with this post up for almost a half hour now. Don't they realize I LIW beckons? Silly fools. Away with them!

Anyway, so I was one of the unfortunate masses who missed out on TWOTY (I seem to remember summertimegirl, at the afterparty, calling it TWATTY. I don't know if she was drunk and mispronouncing it, or if she is the funniest person EVER, but either way, in my mind, it will always, henceforth, be known as TWATTY).

Instead, I spent my day doing all sorts of wedding stuff (hair trial with Nicole D'Angio- AWESOME- CHECK IT OFF THE LIST!!, went to Estelles Dressy Dresses to look for earrings, and got a crappy pair for a not-so-crappy $40, which I will NOT be wearing, but it was an impulse buy, what do you want from me, at least it wasn't doughnuts, and then I went to Thomas Knoell. Now, I walked in, and it's a really nice place. I clearly knew I didn't belong, and I needed to get my flabass back to Tri-County STAT. But I checked out a few gorgeous things, and filled out the form they ask for. they ask how you heard about them, and I wrote LIW. I asked the lady, if I write LIW, will you know what I mean? And she says 'Long Island Weddings, absolutely!'

With that, another girl in there spins around, and says 'you're on it too?' We laughed, and I asked who she was. Helllooooo, Ivy Queen!!! It was so nice to meet you! I have to say, it was SOOO wierd. This is someone I've chatted with for months, and now we're in the same store- it was just a really bizarre feeling. It's possible you could 'know' everyone in a room, and not even know it! IvyQueen, you were just the nicest, and that clip you had in your hair was STUNNING!! I hope you bought it! So nice to meet you!

So then I went to the Four Points Sheraton for the afterparty, to see if I could meet a few of the ladies.

Have I mentioned I'm shy? So there I am, standing in the bar, and there are all these people all over the place. And then you realize, holy crap, I'm here by myself, and I have NO idea who anyone is. And everyone is sitting in their groups. What do you do? Go up to a group and say Hi, I'm SuzanneR, and have them say 'So?' My delicate psyche can't take that. So I do what any rational person would do.

I sit in the bathroom.

No, I'm not proud of it. I went into the bathroom and just sort of stood there, thinking I should just leave.

Are you jealous of how awesome I am? I know you are.

Instead I went back out, busied myself at the bar and ordered a diet coke, and looked around. I really couldn't recognize anyone.

and then I saw hair. Not your usual hair, but that sort of crazy 'how does she get that hair' hair, you know? And I immediately knew who it was. I think she saw me looking at her a few times, and she was probably wondering, why is this mess stalking me? Is this some crazed, flabbily gay hotel bar lurker who is secretly coveting my hair?

The answer, of course, was yes. but without the gay and hotel bar thing.

so she gets up and I cut her off at the pass, and I said 'Excuse me, are you BarbieGirl10? and she said yes. And I said 'Hi, I'm SuzanneR.'

I have to tell you, it was one of the nicest greetings I have ever had. She brought me over to her table, where evewedsjc and vickiR510 were, and I just had the best time. I also met summertimegirl, NYMetsBride (I think!) , and ddnsp618, who is blackmailing me with some unflattering pics (only kidding). You girls were just the greatest, and your FH’s were awesome. Thanks so much for making me feel so welcome. It was strange again- I felt like I knew you guys forever. Which might explain why I felt so comfortable ordering a bacon cheeseburger and eating it in front of you and your men like an animal. By the time I was halfway through the burger, evewedsjc had backed herself into a corner and was shielding herself from flying bits of meat. What can I say? I was laughing so hard, at one point a meat bullet projectiled itself out of my mouth and I think it hit someone. If so, I apologize. I was in a frenzy. When evewedsjc finally felt safe enough to uncover her eyes, she politely informed me that I had spilled all this dressing on my boob shelf, because, of course, the meat, cheese and bacon wasn’t enough fat for me. I had to take some of the remaining dressing from the vegetable crudite and dip burger bites in it. I skipped the vegetables, though.

To answer your next and obvious question, yes I was raised by wolves, and no, I am not capable of being a part of civilized society. I could barely work my knife and fork. At home, FH just throws some meat at me and runs, so utensils were a new and unwelcome challenge. I just tried to fake it through. Evewedsjc, I hope you suffer no permanent mental damage from witnessing the feeding frenzy. VickiR510 just watched in disgust. BarbieGirl10 had to leave the table. Ladies, I can hardly blame you.

So in all seriousness, I really want to thank you ladies- I had a great time. Eve, you are just the cutest, and I would carry you around all day if I could. And thanks for laughing at my stupidity. Vicki, you are all tough girl awesome, and I loved it. An absolute riot. However, how dare you insinuate you’re a$$ is anything less than perfection?? I snuck a look, and it is sublime. And as for BarbieGirl10, thanks so much for bringing me over. You really are just the sweetest. And your shoes, THE SHOES! I also coveted your coat. Okay, maybe I am stalky.

And finally, to you ladies, please never sit next to me in a bar again. There was too much gorgeous in too close a proximity to me. I suffer by comparison.

Thanks again for a great weekend!