Why would guests give you less money at a wedding if it was on a Friday vs a Sat or a Sun vs a Sat. A afternoon vs a night? A cocktail recep vs a complete sit down meal? Are people that petty that they actually do this? Sorry, I had to address this cause it is bothering me!!!!!!!!! I had no idea that people actually take this into account!!
LaBellaVita622
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Re: I know it's late, but I am urked
I don't think most people think is way only a handful. We give the same no matter what..
rendel
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Re: I know it's late, but I am urked
Posted by LaBellaVita622
I don't think most people think is way only a handful. We give the same no matter what..
Same here that's why I was kind of surprised to hear this on more then one occasion!!!!!!!!!
JLWSJC
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Re: I know it's late, but I am urked
This is the problem with people who have the cover your plate mentality
WE all already know how I feel about that. It's BS.
Give what you think the couple deserves and what you can afford to give. Eff covering your plate.
CantWait2Wed
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Re: I know it's late, but I am urked
My FH and I have discussed this a few times. We were thinking of having a passed plate reception which is like a cocktail party and not any cheaper than a sit down but people kept saying that people might give us less.
rendel
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Re: I know it's late, but I am urked
Posted by ekregan
My FH and I have discussed this a few times. We were thinking of having a passed plate reception which is like a cocktail party and not any cheaper than a sit down but people kept saying that people might give us less.
Honestly it annoys me!!!!! What is everyone punishing us for not being able to afford a Sat night wedding!!!! STILL VENTING!!!!!!!!!!! LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!
allornil
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Re: I know it's late, but I am urked
Thats news to me. We always give as much as we can and more if theyre close friends or family regardless of the day.
CantWait2Wed
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Re: I know it's late, but I am urked
Don't be upset! If it makes you feel better I have never heard of deciding on gift amount based on day if the week. I'm having a day wedding and I guess people could do the same to me.
i went to a wed night wedding n gave 150 a person lol but hey some people are really cheap-- not including those who actually cnt afford it --but those than can n dont care to.
mollygurl24
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Re: I know it's late, but I am urked
Some people are just like that unfortunately. One person told me to expect less in my envelope because I was getting married in the winter time and on a sunday (He also asked how much I was paying, which at that point, I didn't even want to tell them). If you are going to do it, then do it, but don't tell me about it. Totally classless.
leesah85
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Re: I know it's late, but I am urked
Posted by rendel
Posted by ekregan
My FH and I have discussed this a few times. We were thinking of having a passed plate reception which is like a cocktail party and not any cheaper than a sit down but people kept saying that people might give us less.
Honestly it annoys me!!!!! What is everyone punishing us for not being able to afford a Sat night wedding!!!! STILL VENTING!!!!!!!!!!! LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!
ITA!!!!!!!
I went to a wedding at the Rainbow Room at there was NO WAY I was going to be able to 'cover my plate,' let alone FH's! We just gave what we can and tried not to take anything else into account.
leighlo1226
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Re: I know it's late, but I am urked
I have never heard that before. All of my and Fh's friends and family give the same to everyone no matter where or when. That sounds like a silly 'rule of thumb' created by a cheap person. Don't let it bother you!
angelabarra12
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Re: I know it's late, but I am urked
wow that is crazy...i guess some people actually do that...but thats not right! i can see how that would bother you!! it would upset me too!! but you do the right thing and thats sad that not everyone does!
Jsquared
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Re: I know it's late, but I am urked
I totally understand what youre saying.. but that being said it is a paradigm, and people think its right, and there is no changing it! Its so dumb, but its stuck in peoples minds. Its the mentallity that you cover your plate, pay for yourself to attend and then give a little extra for a 'gift'. Whether thats what the bride or groom wants or expects, it doesnt matter.. it has become what people think is right, and if you give less you are looked down upon.. its another way of keeping up with the jones'! People actually call RH and ask how much they are paying a head! So that is why people take the day of the week and time of day into consideration, because they are paying less , you give less. SOO RIDICULOUS!
I think for the most part it is stupid and shouldnt matter at all. I changed my RH and am paying a buttload more per plate, but i dont expect any more of a gift from anyone. Its such a terrible thing that people do this and think this way !
BUT. I can't deny that when one of my best friends and BP member came to my e party at flowerfield with her FH and parents and gave me a BOOK as a gift, i was a little ticked. I hate to admit it , but i was pretty P.Oed ! 4 plates and I got a book! I would have much rathered a beautiful card or meaningful little something than a book with no thought behind it !! LOL
mybabylovesmoi
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Re: I know it's late, but I am urked
I think it's pretty lame. You should give according to how close you are with the person or what you can afford, not try to do calculations
Besides, my wedding is on a sunday but I upgraded so it is the same price pp as a saturday anyway so the method sucks
squeeky126
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Re: I know it's late, but I am urked
Same goes for engagement gifts. I had an engagement party 11 years ago and I obviously did not marry him, he wasn't for me. But now that I'm with the man I will spend the rest of my life with, he wanted an engagement party and many people said I'm not getting you and engagement gift I already gave you one. Now I would completely understand this if it was say even 5 years ago...we are talking about 11 years! So as promised they showed up to my e-party with nothing...I just don't agree, I would have bought a gift even if it was a year ago that's just the way I am.
DCgirl82
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Re: I know it's late, but I am urked
Posted by squeeky126
Same goes for engagement gifts. I had an engagement party 11 years ago and I obviously did not marry him, he wasn't for me. But now that I'm with the man I will spend the rest of my life with, he wanted an engagement party and many people said I'm not getting you and engagement gift I already gave you one. Now I would completely understand this if it was say even 5 years ago...we are talking about 11 years! So as promised they showed up to my e-party with nothing...I just don't agree, I would have bought a gift even if it was a year ago that's just the way I am.
Thats soooo RUDE!!!!! Sorry to be blunt but seriously that was ur first engagement that didnt work out.. that gift they got 11 years ago doesnt count! This is a whole new enagagement with the love of your life! Whats wrong with people!?!?!
allornil
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Re: I know it's late, but I am urked
Posted by squeeky126
Same goes for engagement gifts. I had an engagement party 11 years ago and I obviously did not marry him, he wasn't for me. But now that I'm with the man I will spend the rest of my life with, he wanted an engagement party and many people said I'm not getting you and engagement gift I already gave you one. Now I would completely understand this if it was say even 5 years ago...we are talking about 11 years! So as promised they showed up to my e-party with nothing...I just don't agree, I would have bought a gift even if it was a year ago that's just the way I am.
