I need advice...QUICK!!

I'm glad things have (kinda) worked out. I would be so angry also. It's probably just an innocent thing like he said. Men dont' think too clearly!

OK...alittle update. When we spoke about this whole mess and he brought up that I went onto his account, I said 'well if you're that worried about it, put a password on your acct!' Wouldnt you know that when I checked this morning, he DID put a password on!! I was so mad!!!!!!!! So he woke up and asked if he did something ELSE to make me mad, and I told him YES! That he knows how I am about the trust issues, yet he came home and put a password on right away. He got mad and told me that I told him to put a password on.
Long story short, he went onto the computer and cancelled his screenname so that we didnt have any further problems (this address is on his business card!!!). He reacts too quickly and does the dumbest things.
Now what????

Well I hate to say it, but you are really sending him mixed signals.....
First you go into his account (by accident) and are upset by what you have seen, then he gets mad you invaded his privacy, then you tell him he should have a password and then he gets one and then you get mad again.....

Don't get me wrong...I DO understand why you were upset/alarmed in the first place, but if you told him he should have a password and he gets one - that is NO reason for you to be mad!

Everyone needs to feel that they have a bit of privacy in their lives, something that is all theirs...

It seems like you are punishing him for your past husbands mistakes!!!

You are both on the wrong wavelenght about this. Now his business cards are invalid- that is just not smart! You need to calming discuss why you were upset and how you feel about this, not just start fighting and both of your reacting.
I hope you can work this out.

I kind of agree with Sage on this one.
Married or not, everyone deseves some degree of privacy and a life of their own which includes friends (exes or not) seperate from their 'WE' lives.
And it sounds like he was truly just trying to 'help' out someone that was going through a rough patch.

I'm friends with my ex. He calls me from time to time. My husband would never expect that I tell him about it EVERY TIME he calls, nor does he expect that this friend should only call when he's around. He's a friend. So he gets treated like every other friend. He can call or e-mail me when he feels like it. I don't tell my husband everytime a girlfriend calls and to me it's the same thing. The fact that I don't tell my husband about it each time we speak, doesn't mean that we're hiding anything and he doesn't consider it being secretive. He ASSUMES that we talk now and then.

By that same token, he has friends that are women. I assume they chat either via e-mail or phone from time to tiime. I certainly wouldn't expect that they only call when I'm around. He's an adult and he doesn't need a chaperone. And I trust him. If he speaks to one of these girls and it's something interesting, then he tells me, but otherwise, I could care less what they discuss.

I know that you have trust issues, but don't let the fact that you've been hurt by someone else dictate how you react to the new person in your life. The man you married isn't the one that hurt you. Try and have a little faith in him.