I need some advice

Hey Girls! I have posted about this before. But now it is getting really bad. Today is 12/31. Our RSVP date is 1/5. We have 60 people who haven't responded and with the way things are going I think only about 10 of those 60 will be Yes'.

As of right now we only have 77 people attending our wedding

We invited 200.

I can't tell you how much this breaks my heart. We have 110 minimum. We are not going to get anywhere near that. Almost NO ONE from FH's family in Maryland is coming. He has 5 Aunts/Uncles (his mom's siblings) only one of them is coming. I have a ton of family and family friends from NY that went to both my sister's and my mother's wedding and are not coming

The room at HWC is HUGE. It is going to look ridiculous with only approximately 80 people in it. Let alone the fact that my mom is going to be out approximately $3,000.00 to pay for empty seats. We are more than depressed about this. This is not at all what I thought my wedding day would be. We have barely any friends that are going, which I fear will lead to an empty dance floor.

We are trying to stay positive. I know it will be a beautiful day. I know no matter who is in the room the important thing is that I am marrying the man of my dreams. I really can't help being hurt about this. The economy has absolutely affected our guest list. There is no way around it. I don't know what to do and I can't seem to get out of the funk and depression I am in because of our minuscule guest list. Please help and share some advice/words of wisdom. Thanks

I am so sorry that you are going through this.. worst case scenerio if you only have 80 people or so there.. can the RH throw in a VH hour or ANYTHING to make up for that extra 3k?

That is terrible! I am so sorry that this happened to you!

Maybe people will change their mind or let you know last minute! Maybe you could extend the RSVP date to the people who said they cant make it.
Did they give a reason why? Maybe you can find a less expensive hotel for them to stay at if money is the issue?
Dont stress this though because your wedding is going to be amazing no matter how many people attend.
Feel better!

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Posted by Soon2BMrsC09

I am so sorry that you are going through this.. worst case scenerio if you only have 80 people or so there.. can the RH throw in a VH hour or ANYTHING to make up for that extra 3k?

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I am sure they will do something. I haven't called or emailed yet cuz I am waiting till at least the 5th to see what our final number will be....

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Posted by Shellymd

That is terrible! I am so sorry that this happened to you!

Maybe people will change their mind or let you know last minute! Maybe you could extend the RSVP date to the people who said they cant make it.
Did they give a reason why? Maybe you can find a less expensive hotel for them to stay at if money is the issue?
Dont stress this though because your wedding is going to be amazing no matter how many people attend.
Feel better!

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Many people have listed travel and $$ as reasons they aren't attending. I know a lot of people from MD seem to think that NY is worlds away and they just can't possibly make the trip. But it really isn't that far...

I'm so sorry That really stinks, I can't imagine how you must be feeling. I dont really know what to tell you since I've never had to deal with this before but i remember seeing a bunch of 08 girls invite other girls to their weddings just to fill the seats. If it comes to that, I'm sure there are lots of 09 girls you're friends with that would love to come and celebrate your big day.

i would wait until you get all those RSVPs back. then worry about it. i know its tough because you have a minimum to make. my sister was under her minimum at one point, and added a few people to the guest list at the end. some extended people that normally would have been B list.

one thing you need to remember, like you said, its going to be beautiful and you will enjoy your day. its hard not to get wrapped up in the lost finances, but that is beyond your control and remember, the people who ARE there will enjoy the day and you will enjoy their company.

the BIGGEST thing to remember, is that it is beyond your control. if they make the choice to not attend, that is their loss that they won't see you on your wedding day. keep your head up!!!

You'd be surprised how many people will send back late. I had people calling me the week before our final to tell us they were coming!

Hun, please don't worry. You still have 5 days and you can then call each one of the 60 who didnt rsvp and make them feel bad! I think its rather rude though..
And if all else fails a bride on here invited some of the girls on here to fill her quota and said it was the best thing she could do... since filling the seats with people rather than paying for empty seats made her feel better....

Just take it easy till t he fifth and if you need to panic you know my fm is always open!

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Posted by Mici n KC

You'd be surprised how many people will send back late. I had people calling me the week before our final to tell us they were coming!

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I was just about to say that alot of people RSVP really late so don't stress for another week or so

You may still make it sweetie! People are always late...def follow up right away then...after that call the rh right away to see what they can give you...and if you still have plenty of space...INVITE US...LOL
I am sure some LIW girls would love to come!

I know it's hard, and it just S**KS sometimes, but you're still waiting for 60 RSVPs . . . so that may shed some light. Our RSVP due date was 12/15 and would you believe that I got 5 in the mail just yesterday!!! We are making our calls now to see who is actually coming, you would be surprised.

At the end of the day all that matters is that those closest to you will be there celebrating with you! You won't notice if the room doesn't look full enough, at that point you will be in your own world with you DH and enjoying every moment of your day. Lots of brides have given us the best piece of advise not the sweat the small stuff, and that should mean before the wedding as well as the day of. What is meant to be will be, and you don't have much control, so enjoy your last 5 weeks of being engaged, and I promise you the day of the amount of people there won't even faze you.

hang in there babe!

Do you have a B-List? If so, I would start sending out invites NOW!!!!!!

I too am having trouble getting RSVP's back!! The people who are CLOSEST to me aren't sending them back at all because they assume we should know they are coming!!! I mean, come on!!

wait and see how many responses you get on your rsvp date - you still may have to make a few phone calls....

once you know your exact count call the RH and work it out with them - try to get something to make up for the money you are out, we had a similair situation - we were under minimum - it doesnt hurt to ask b/c worst they can say is no - but its worth trying and i am sure they will give you something.....

my DH said this to me a million times and i still worried - 'the bride and groom set the tone' DH DJ's weddings - weddings for 50 people, weddings for 500 people - he says that when the bride and groom dance, their guests dance....when the bride and groom are bores the wedding s-u-c-k-s .....i was worried about the same thing b/c our reception room can hold like 250 and we had 150 - i was afraid that it would look empty in there - it didn't look empty at all....and DH and I danced and our dancefloor was packed it was shocking b/c there were so many people that i swore wouldn't dance and they did....but really, i was so into DH that i had NO CLUE who was dancing or not....you will be surprised when you get your pics at who was up there with you! we were like OMG so and so danced?!?!? After our VH ended things slowed down b/c a lot of guests left - VH started at 11:00pm and was over around 12am so most of the older crowd left - our wedding ended at 12:30am so we had 30 minutes left of dancing and that is the only time the dancefloor wasn't pakced - but we still danced, our bridal danced and all the younger people were still up there.....it will be FINE! trust me! if you party your guests will party!

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Posted by Future Mulligan

wait and see how many responses you get on your rsvp date - you still may have to make a few phone calls....

once you know your exact count call the RH and work it out with them - try to get something to make up for the money you are out, we had a similair situation - we were under minimum - it doesnt hurt to ask b/c worst they can say is no - but its worth trying and i am sure they will give you something.....

my DH said this to me a million times and i still worried - 'the bride and groom set the tone' DH DJ's weddings - weddings for 50 people, weddings for 500 people - he says that when the bride and groom dance, their guests dance....when the bride and groom are bores the wedding s-u-c-k-s .....i was worried about the same thing b/c our reception room can hold like 250 and we had 150 - i was afraid that it would look empty in there - it didn't look empty at all....and DH and I danced and our dancefloor was packed it was shocking b/c there were so many people that i swore wouldn't dance and they did....but really, i was so into DH that i had NO CLUE who was dancing or not....you will be surprised when you get your pics at who was up there with you! we were like OMG so and so danced?!?!? After our VH ended things slowed down b/c a lot of guests left - VH started at 11:00pm and was over around 12am so most of the older crowd left - our wedding ended at 12:30am so we had 30 minutes left of dancing and that is the only time the dancefloor wasn't pakced - but we still danced, our bridal danced and all the younger people were still up there.....it will be FINE! trust me! if you party your guests will party!

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and by the way..i saw your pictures and your are so friggin gorgeous! what a bride you made

if it makes you feel any better - i am still trying to track down some rsvps and my wedding is in NINE days...people just don't get it.

but at the end of the day, you will have a fantastic day - you will be married to your best friend, and you will be surrounded by people who truly love you.

and, i really don't think you're room will look empty at all. 80 people is about 2 tables less than 110 people....when you look at it that way, it's not so bad.

Is there a B list? Can you invite people from work, or maybe your friends who were invited without guests can now bring guests?

I have heard that your RH, if you fall under your min, can also throw in some extras or use the seats you already paid for towards your vendors so you don't have to pay extra for their meals. Maybe you can work something out with the RH.

Also, don't worry yet! People are giant procrastinators. They may also be on vacation right now and will do your RSVP after new years.

I think all the other posters are right. People just procrastinate - especially around the holidays. Give it time. I mean it's NYE and as of yesterday I was still getting Christmas cards in the mail!

Hang in there. I know what you mean about people from MD thinking NY is so far away. My sister went to school in MD and she constantly travels back and forth to see her former sorrority sisters and go to their events - they never seem to come up here though