I need someone's opinion- e-party related

My fiance and I haven't decided if we want an engagement party. ( Our parents have contributed to the wedding, and will not contribute to an e-party, therefore it would be at our expense) Since we announced our engagement, we have been blessed with wonderful people in our lives stopping by our home with gifts (picture frames, candles, wine, etc.). Because mama raised me right, I send a hand-written thank you for every kind gesture we have received, even if someone bought us a bottle of wine. A family member e-mailed me today telling me she got my thank you. She then said, 'So, does this mean that are you not having an engagement party??'

Im not really sure what me sending a thank-you has to do with whether or not we are having a party. Am I interpreting this wrong? I dont even know what to respond.

Honestly, I'm not quite sure what that means either! One thing I learned very early in my engagement is that people will say the strangest and darndest things you've ever freaking heard in your life to you!! This is one of them! Like, this is up there!!

I would email her back and say:

I'm so glad you got my thank you! We loved the wine, it was so yummy! We actually haven't decided if we're going to have an engagement party or not yet. There are a lot of factors that play into it as you can understand.


Here's an example of a weird thing to say to someone: My MIL's friend when she found out our wedding was at 7 pm she said 'What am I supposed to do all day?'. Gee lady, I don't friggin know, whatever the frick you would usually do on a frickin Friday!! What?!?!?! People are sooo weird!!!!

People are weird

FH and I, however, knew we would run into this speculation, so whether or not to have an eparty was one of the first decisions we made so that if people DID send us gifts they wouldn't think they had to give us another one if we sent out invitations for a party after we started receiving gifts...(I hope that made sense?) Since we decided NOT to have a party, we sent out announcements in lieu of invitations to let people know who might have been considering getting us a gift that they didn't need to wait for a party that wasn't happening. Much like you, it was for financial reasons... we are already paying for the wedding, parents are contributing some and were't chomping at the bit t pay for an additional party and we felt that money would be better used toward the wedding anyway.

At any rate, I agree with Allegra, that would be a perfect response. Just because people chose to be 'kind' and send gifts immediately, shouldn't preempt your decision to have an engagement party. You didn't ASK for gifts!