i wouldnt tell him. it sounds like you want to tell him to make yourself feel less guilty. so in the end.....u'll feel better but FH will prob be upset about it.
unless he is consistently asking you about it then i wouldnt say anything.
WinterBride10
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Posted by ANT-N-BON-09
Posted by MrsLarrea2B
Take it to the grave. Some things are better left unsaid.
I would NOT tell him. No freakin way! Why stir the pot yrs later! JMO
I agree. DO NOT TELL HIM! He will never be able to let it go if you do tell him and it will haunt him for the rest of your lives. He will always think of you with that person and never be able to let go. You were broken up, there is no need to tell him.
kayla09
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I don't think that you should tell him. You were broken up and it was 3 years ago. I understand that marriage is based on honesty, but we ALL have something that we have not/will not shared with FH. Everything is not for everyone. And I don't think it is important to tell him just so you don't feel guilty any more. If you tell him how will he really feel. I don't think that you would want to hurt him and I sure something that this will. Just my opinion. Good Luck
AHimar24
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Posted by MrsLarrea2B
Take it to the grave. Some things are better left unsaid.
I agree with this, but if it's really eating you up inside then I think you want to tell him, and you should.
bridetobe0909
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Thank you girls so much for all of your input I know I can always count on my LIW girls for great advice you are all the best xoxoxo
gina409
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i would tell him..if u r thinking about it now u will be thinking bout it forever and might hurt him to find out then..i wouldnt want to start off a marriage with that on my head..
GT143EA
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Posted by IrishBrideASmiling
I wouldnt tell him...its in the past, leave it there
I agree. you werent together when you slept with this person so its ok to keep it to yourself.......you dont have to tell each other every little detail about a time in your life when he wasnt in it. JMO. Good luck!
babygirl85
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Girl I think you should tell Him about it as soon as you can. Right now it may seem hard and impossible........But I believe that the longer you wait ( to go into the marrige with this secret) It's going to be harder to tell. Just think about it. It's better to say what's on your heart right now because the longer you wait ,the harder it will become. In addition you want to happy on the day of your wedding and not be bombarded by guilty feelings. Hope everything will work out
geegee827
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I don't think you should tell him. You were broken up - it's not like you were dating the two of them at the same time or cheating. Everyone has things in their past - just because you choose not to share it with the person you love doesn't mean you don't love him. If you think that it will bring more strength, love and understanding to your relationship, tell him. However, I don't see how fessing up to something 3 years ago (while you were broken up) would benefit the relationship. It may only hurt him.
You need to ask yourself:
1. Do you want to know EVERYTHING he did while you two weren't together?
2. Will this bother him or make him feel better about your relationship?
3. Is there any benefit to telling him.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do....
coldasice217
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I would not tell FH personally. If you two weren't together when it happened, it's technically none of his business. It seems from the background that this person may have been a friend or a previous ex that you went back to during the break. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's the impression I got, because that would make sense then why you may be 'judged' if you came clean.
If FH doesn't bring it up on a day to day basis, I don't think there's any reason to bring it up now, before the wedding. It could backfire, get him upset and irrational, and may cause major issues, or worst of all, another breakup. That being said, I wouldn't go there. I know if FH started telling me things about his past, or if I said things to him, we'd both get super po-ed at each other, and that's before we even knew each other. I can't imagine the level of po-ed-ness if this indiscretion happened during a period of time where we actually knew each other.
Good luck with your decision
Celeste617
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If you feel the guilt will wear away at you, tell him the the truth. If he can't bear it, then at least you will have been honest.
FutureMrsG
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I would not tell him- It sounds like you should leave the past where it belongs...behind you.
Sweeteey51
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Take it to the grave honey!!!!
B2B 2009
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I agree with these girls.. I would keep it to yourself unless you really want to share it..IT's better to keep things in the past and it may hurt more for both of you to rehash them
Butterfly123
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Crashing cause Im bored and cant sleep.
Honestly, do you really think your DH doesnt think you slept with anyone while you were broken up? Did you guys ever discuss who you slept with or if you slept with anyone when you got back together? Maybe this is something he just knows but doesnt say anything because it doesnt matter now. If he asked you before and you lied then maybe its time to fess up now. If he never asked then he doesnt care.
beram63
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Posted by bridetobe0909
Posted by cutiegirlxo
Yea I dunno, you might be soooo deep that you shouldnt even make yourself look worse...BUT does he know this is true for real?? I mean if everyone knows and the cat is out of the bag, you might as well tell him right? Also, if you guys arent together anymore- maybe you should come clean.... its a sticky situation.... but is there a chance that you and your FH can work this out?? If there is, I would tell him the truth and have a heart to heart.... I mean was he cheating too, or it was just you?? Was he around less??
neither one of us were cheating we were broken up for like 3 yrs when this happened and he happened to call during the time this was all going on and he asked me if it was true and I said no and he believes me ,everyone believes me except my one friend who I no longer talk to. So really the cat is not out of the bag the only people that know his did happen is me my therapist and the guy. It was a one time thing and that was it a stupid mistake again there was no cheating or betrayal on FH.
i may be in the minority here, but idk if it's appropriate to bring up now. if FH and i were broken up for a period of years like that and we were both sleeping with other people, i would not care or want to know the details of who he slept with during that time. i guess it seems irrelevant to the current relationship, which just turns a heart-to-heart into the stirring of the past with details that are painful to think about.
i guess the big question is--if he were to somehow find out, would he be angry that you'd never come clean? only in that case would i confess. otherwise, spare him the discomfort of having to think of his beautiful b2b with another man. JMO
crazeee18
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definately tell him...if its bothering you this much its gonna eat you up inside....get it on the table...dont start your marriage with skeletons in your closet
MrsDtoBe09
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I think all lies are bad... I know it would eat me up if there was something I was holding back from my fh. Good luck.
PoppedInASnap
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What did you decide? I brought it up to fh last night and he said if you are still friends with the guy then you should tell fh but that if he was in the situation he wouldn't really care whether or not since you were broken up...unless like i said before you guys were friends still
PROBM
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Posted by MrsLarrea2B
Take it to the grave. Some things are better left unsaid.
i totally agree none of his business you were broken up , you lied to him because it would do no good to give that info up. you werebroken up case closed
