I need your Help please reply

Honestly i had a similar situation.. FH and I broke up for 4 months a long time ago and I dated someone else during that time (actually re-dated an ex). FH asked me about it when we got back together and I lied and said no... but finally about 2 weeks later I told him the truth and he was at first mad that I didnt just tell him the truth right away but was also happy I told him and the issue was never discussed again.

I think you should tell him if its bothering you.. you will feel better. But if you dont tell him thats no big deal either. you were broken up.

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

I would tell him and get it all out... Thats not something you want to eat away at you for years...

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ITA with this. If you were broken up when it happened I dont see why he should be mad at you.

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Posted by bridetobe0909

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Posted by cutiegirlxo

Yea I dunno, you might be soooo deep that you shouldnt even make yourself look worse...BUT does he know this is true for real?? I mean if everyone knows and the cat is out of the bag, you might as well tell him right? Also, if you guys arent together anymore- maybe you should come clean.... its a sticky situation.... but is there a chance that you and your FH can work this out?? If there is, I would tell him the truth and have a heart to heart.... I mean was he cheating too, or it was just you?? Was he around less??

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neither one of us were cheating we were broken up for like 3 yrs when this happened and he happened to call during the time this was all going on and he asked me if it was true and I said no and he believes me ,everyone believes me except my one friend who I no longer talk to. So really the cat is not out of the bag the only people that know his did happen is me my therapist and the guy. It was a one time thing and that was it a stupid mistake again there was no cheating or betrayal on FH.

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If you were broken up for 3 years then he cant be mad at you for sleeping with someone else? Why did you lie about who it was when he originally asked you? I dont know if its wise to go so far back in the past once you already lied to him about it

It depends, are you guys both friends with the guy?

My friend Brian didn't tell his girlfriend Anne that we had slept together until Anne and I were already good friends. It really made a mess when it came out and took a while for Anne and I to become friends again. And she knew we dated so it wasn't the shock that this might be.

If either of you are friends with the guy it might make a big mess that could otherwise be avoided. He will probably not want to be friends with someone who has been keeping this from him and will certainly not want you to be friends with him.

Absolutely! Don't make the mistake of entering into a marriage with the weight of a lie on your shoulders. Tell him!!

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Posted by MrsLarrea2B

Take it to the grave. Some things are better left unsaid.

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I would try to leave it alone. The past is the past...leave it there.....Unless it it brought up again, there is no need to 'stir the pot when you have nothing cooking in it.....' He may get more upset that you still think about it than the fact you actually did it.

EVERYONE has skeletons in the closet.....no matter what they tell you.....just know that going forward you cannot keep anything from him.....

HOWEVER if you do decide to tell him, make sure you let him know that it is something that has been bothering you and you know it is going to upset him....but you needed to tell him...

If it somehow came up in a conversation I would probably use that opportunity to be honest with FH.
Otherwise, I wouldn't just randomly bring it up. I wouldn't want to upset FH over something that happened in the past but that's JMO..

just read through all the responses and it seems like a majority of you girls wouldnt tell FH... that actually shocks the crap outta me!

marriage shouldnt start off with something that you have in the back of your mind... and if they were broken up, honestly, i highly doubt telling would change the relationship and mess up the engagement... if you come back to thinking about it here n there, then it means its still on your mind and should be let out somehow....

why the OP lied in the first place is beyond me since they were broken up and it should have been let out at that point... see how much harder things get as time goes on?

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

just read through all the responses and it seems like a majority of you girls wouldnt tell FH... that actually shocks the crap outta me!

marriage shouldnt start off with something that you have in the back of your mind... and if they were broken up, honestly, i highly doubt telling would change the relationship and mess up the engagement... if you come back to thinking about it here n there, then it means its still on your mind and should be let out somehow....

why the OP lied in the first place is beyond me since they were broken up and it should have been let out at that point... see how much harder things get as time goes on?

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The reason why I said I wouldn't tell is because I am not sure if I would want to know if I were in the situation and it was reversed...I know things about FH's past but there are certain details I rather not ever know.
Even though it sounds crazy, I AM the type of person to start a fight over something FH did 5 years before we even met!! I just wouldn't want to upset myself over something that has absolutely no current effect on me but that's JMO....
If cheating was involved however, I would definitely want to know and therefore I would tell!

*edited for grammar!

I believe in being honest in every situation. So i say tell him. He may be upset at first but it will be because you didnt tell the truth from the beginning. Take the lumps & eventually he will get over it.

If the roles were reversed i would still want to know. Only because the subject had come up once before & the OP lied about it. So now i would definitely want to know. But when you love someone you will be able to deal with t & move on. It wont be a deal breaker. Tell the truth! You obviously want to or this post would never have been made to begin with. Unless you were hoping most people said to shut up about it. Butteh fact is it does bother you every now & again or everday it still bothers you. So fess up.