I need your Help please reply

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Posted by bridetobe0909

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Posted by cutiegirlxo

Yea I dunno, you might be soooo deep that you shouldnt even make yourself look worse...BUT does he know this is true for real?? I mean if everyone knows and the cat is out of the bag, you might as well tell him right? Also, if you guys arent together anymore- maybe you should come clean.... its a sticky situation.... but is there a chance that you and your FH can work this out?? If there is, I would tell him the truth and have a heart to heart.... I mean was he cheating too, or it was just you?? Was he around less??

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neither one of us were cheating we were broken up for like 3 yrs when this happened and he happened to call during the time this was all going on and he asked me if it was true and I said no and he believes me ,everyone believes me except my one friend who I no longer talk to. So really the cat is not out of the bag the only people that know his did happen is me my therapist and the guy. It was a one time thing and that was it a stupid mistake again there was no cheating or betrayal on FH.

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ohhh
if it wasnt cheating then its up to you. FH asked about one specific guy in my past(Before i ever even met fh) who I still remain friends with and I was honest because I felt like sincei was still friends with him it was better to be honest.

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Posted by Future Mrs Roo

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Posted by bridetobe0909

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Posted by Future Mrs Roo

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Posted by bridetobe0909

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Posted by cutiegirlxo

From my understanding, I think she said they broke up....

... are you guys broken up for good??

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no me and FH broke up for like 3 yrs then got back togther and are getting married this all took place during the time we were broken up

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then why is this coming up now?

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because I tell FH everything and once in a blue I will remember this situation and say to myself FH has no clue....then I say well it really doesnt matter cause I never asked him what he did when we were broken up..

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I wouldnt say a word then, its not like he is questioning you on what you did during that timeframe. leave it alone.

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no he has never even brought it up to me and honestly I dont think it would have an effect on our relationship either way so I think I wont say anything

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Posted by krislee316

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Posted by MrsLarrea2B

Take it to the grave. Some things are better left unsaid.

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I agree

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But that's something serious. And if it ever (somehow) came up years from now, it would be much more devestating. You were broken up.. things happen. It's not like you cheated. Marriage isn't about secrets.. it's about being 100% open and honest.

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Posted by MrsFazz2B

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Posted by bridetobe0909

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Posted by cutiegirlxo

Yea I dunno, you might be soooo deep that you shouldnt even make yourself look worse...BUT does he know this is true for real?? I mean if everyone knows and the cat is out of the bag, you might as well tell him right? Also, if you guys arent together anymore- maybe you should come clean.... its a sticky situation.... but is there a chance that you and your FH can work this out?? If there is, I would tell him the truth and have a heart to heart.... I mean was he cheating too, or it was just you?? Was he around less??

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neither one of us were cheating we were broken up for like 3 yrs when this happened and he happened to call during the time this was all going on and he asked me if it was true and I said no and he believes me ,everyone believes me except my one friend who I no longer talk to. So really the cat is not out of the bag the only people that know his did happen is me my therapist and the guy. It was a one time thing and that was it a stupid mistake again there was no cheating or betrayal on FH.

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ohhh
if it wasnt cheating then its up to you. FH asked about one specific guy in my past(Before i ever even met fh) who I still remain friends with and I was honest because I felt like sincei was still friends with him it was better to be honest.

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Yeah its not eating me alive its just something that I think about once in a while and I wonder if I should tell him or not

Marriage isn't about secrets.. it's about being 100% open and honest.

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I know thats the other thing Im struggling with but I really dont think this is something that he needs to know its not like I asked him about the things he did when we broke up so I am soooo torn

This reminds me of Ross and Rachel 'WE WERE ON A BREAK!'

I wouldn't say anything. You weren't together and you didn't cheat so honestly, I don't think it pertains to him. If the situation was a little different and this happened while you were together, I would tell him but in this case, I think it's better if kept to yourself.

I wouldn't tell him. Why? It sounds like you might be judged over it or it cause problems. You didn't cheat on him and quite honestly, its none of anyone's business who you did or did not sleep with while you were single.

I'm sorry but I think that you're just going to open old wounds for no reason. If you were telling us that your child might not be his or some other crazy Maury show, then I'd understand.

You did nothing wrong so you have no reason to feel quilty or bad about anything.

Good Luck!

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Posted by bridetobe0909

Marriage isn't about secrets.. it's about being 100% open and honest.

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I would normally agree with you on this, but the incident happened when they were on a break so I do not see the point about raising the issue now and upsetting your FH. If it was something that happened while you were technically together, then I would encourage you to say something.

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

I would tell him and get it all out... Thats not something you want to eat away at you for years...

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Tell him. Your marriage is for the rest of your life. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with this little secret popping into your head. Not worth the stress. I would tell him why you felt the need to not tell him originally and Fess up girl. Your soul will feel so much better!!

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Posted by megsher

I think honesty is important, but I don't think you should hurt someone else just to make your consience feel better.

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Was thinking the same thing

A few questions

1. Do you think FH would want to know? I mean I agree that you don't start anything with lies but at the same time you did not cheat and I don't think that our sig others really want/need to know about everything and anything we did when we were not with them so I don't know.

2. Is it to clear your conscience or to make your relationship stronger?

3. Could you ask him without telling him? like say 'something happened when we were broken up that I was not quite honest about' do you want to know?

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Posted by bridetobe0909

Marriage isn't about secrets.. it's about being 100% open and honest.

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I know thats the other thing Im struggling with but I really dont think this is something that he needs to know its not like I asked him about the things he did when we broke up so I am soooo torn

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Honestly I also have to say marriage is about continual communication and based on honesty but can not be 100% honest. There are things we don't talk about b/c it is taking care of the other person - to be clear I do NOT mean being deceptive or misleading or emotionally withholding but everything that goes through your head does not need to be shared - some things you will experience and process on your own or with your friends and work through and not need to bring the the relationship. The goal of 100% honesty is impossible to live up to.

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Posted by MrsLarrea2B

Take it to the grave. Some things are better left unsaid.

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I agree - as long as you were both broken up - then I say dont tell him. There is really no need for him to know what or whom you did when you werent together. You are together now, thats what matters.. just keep it to yourself.

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Posted by MrsLarrea2B

Take it to the grave. Some things are better left unsaid.

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I would NOT tell him. No freakin way! Why stir the pot yrs later! JMO