I need your Help please reply

Hi Girls I am a regular poster on here but have changed my name for privacy.

I have a situation that has me unsettled....please dont judge me. While me and FH broke up a while ago we were both seeing other people and both slept with other people, there was a person that I slept with that everyone found out about but I lied and denied it for reasons I will not get into here. My dilema is do I tke this to the grave or tell Fh the truth finally?? I know we were broken up so he wont get mad at me for that it's just the circumstance that Im afraid he will think less of me.

Well girls I know that was a little vauge in certain areas but please let me know what you think
Thanks

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

definitely tell him...starting a marriage that has lies in the foundation is not a good plan!

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Thats what I keep telling myself but this happened about 3-4 yrs ago and I think to bring it up now would be foolish plus I think Im really scared of what his reaction will be I lost a friendship over this situation and I think he will be very disappointed in me exp for lying for sooooo long

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Posted by bridetobe0909

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Posted by MrsDrinkh20

definitely tell him...starting a marriage that has lies in the foundation is not a good plan!

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Thats what I keep telling myself but this happened about 3-4 yrs ago and I think to bring it up now would be foolish plus I think Im really scared of what his reaction will be I lost a friendship over this situation and I think he will be very disappointed in me exp for lying for sooooo long

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I understand but if it is still weighing on you now it will continue to until you get it all out...and if you wait longer it will just get harder and harder to be honest!

From my understanding, I think she said they broke up....

... are you guys broken up for good??

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Posted by cutiegirlxo

Yea I dunno, you might be soooo deep that you shouldnt even make yourself look worse...BUT does he know this is true for real?? I mean if everyone knows and the cat is out of the bag, you might as well tell him right? Also, if you guys arent together anymore- maybe you should come clean.... its a sticky situation.... but is there a chance that you and your FH can work this out?? If there is, I would tell him the truth and have a heart to heart.... I mean was he cheating too, or it was just you?? Was he around less??

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neither one of us were cheating we were broken up for like 3 yrs when this happened and he happened to call during the time this was all going on and he asked me if it was true and I said no and he believes me ,everyone believes me except my one friend who I no longer talk to. So really the cat is not out of the bag the only people that know his did happen is me my therapist and the guy. It was a one time thing and that was it a stupid mistake again there was no cheating or betrayal on FH.

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Posted by cutiegirlxo

From my understanding, I think she said they broke up....

... are you guys broken up for good??

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no me and FH broke up for like 3 yrs then got back togther and are getting married this all took place during the time we were broken up

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Posted by bridetobe0909

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Posted by cutiegirlxo

From my understanding, I think she said they broke up....

... are you guys broken up for good??

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no me and FH broke up for like 3 yrs then got back togther and are getting married this all took place during the time we were broken up

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then why is this coming up now?

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Posted by Future Mrs Roo

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Posted by bridetobe0909

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Posted by cutiegirlxo

From my understanding, I think she said they broke up....

... are you guys broken up for good??

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no me and FH broke up for like 3 yrs then got back togther and are getting married this all took place during the time we were broken up

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then why is this coming up now?

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because I tell FH everything and once in a blue I will remember this situation and say to myself FH has no clue....then I say well it really doesnt matter cause I never asked him what he did when we were broken up..

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Posted by bridetobe0909

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Posted by cutiegirlxo

Yea I dunno, you might be soooo deep that you shouldnt even make yourself look worse...BUT does he know this is true for real?? I mean if everyone knows and the cat is out of the bag, you might as well tell him right? Also, if you guys arent together anymore- maybe you should come clean.... its a sticky situation.... but is there a chance that you and your FH can work this out?? If there is, I would tell him the truth and have a heart to heart.... I mean was he cheating too, or it was just you?? Was he around less??

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neither one of us were cheating we were broken up for like 3 yrs when this happened and he happened to call during the time this was all going on and he asked me if it was true and I said no and he believes me ,everyone believes me except my one friend who I no longer talk to. So really the cat is not out of the bag the only people that know his did happen is me my therapist and the guy. It was a one time thing and that was it a stupid mistake again there was no cheating or betrayal on FH.

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Ohhhhhh I see... thank you for clearing this up for me. Yes, I agree with the other girls that you should tell him the truth. You are going to marry the man of your dreams and you dont want something hanging over your marriage to cause mistrust. You can explain to him that you've always wanted to come clean, but that you felt that he would think less of you if he knew the truth and that you value your relationship and marriage so much that you are willing to put yourself out there- to finally clear the air and tell him the truth. You are only going to keep feeling guilty and its going to hurt that you are hiding something from him.... which is also going to cause stress. How long ago did this happen? How long have you been keeping this secret for? From your post, it seems as though its really bothering you, and I feel like it will continue to bother you until you get it off your chest.

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

I would tell him and get it all out... Thats not something you want to eat away at you for years...

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I totally agree!

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Posted by MrsLarrea2B

Take it to the grave. Some things are better left unsaid.

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I agree

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Posted by bridetobe0909

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Posted by Future Mrs Roo

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Posted by bridetobe0909

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Posted by cutiegirlxo

From my understanding, I think she said they broke up....

... are you guys broken up for good??

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no me and FH broke up for like 3 yrs then got back togther and are getting married this all took place during the time we were broken up

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then why is this coming up now?

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because I tell FH everything and once in a blue I will remember this situation and say to myself FH has no clue....then I say well it really doesnt matter cause I never asked him what he did when we were broken up..

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I wouldnt say a word then, its not like he is questioning you on what you did during that timeframe. leave it alone.