i really don't like FH's family

... and it really bothers me when people say that i'm marrying into the family ... comments like that make me re-consider getting married.

ps: they didn't actually DO anything to annoy me recently ... i just don't want to deal with them ever again.

people say that to me too... Shauns cousins husband has been telling me to run since the day i met him... but marrying your fh means you are going to be a part of their family, whether you like them or not...

ETA: It would never make me not want to marry him...

Yeah I hate that 'marrying in' thing. It's too traditional for me. I'm like anti-tradition in most matters. I like to change things. Is that the liberal in me? Maybe. Regardless, FH's family annoys the crap out of me too, so you're not alone.

so tell me .... FH and i have been dating for just over 2 years now ... during that time, we're pretty much seen his family about 10 times per year (if that) ... after FH and i are married, is that going to change?

i don't understand why everyone thinks it will change ... i feel like whatever it used to be will continue to be regardless of my marital status.

am i wrong?

that depends on you guys.

we don't see his family that often. i'm usually the one who is like 'lets go see your parents'. but that was when they hadn't started to annoy me yet.

we are going to be moving in together closer to the wedding. he and his parents live in nassau. but we will be moving out to suffolk. so ... i dont know. i hope its LESS

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

so tell me .... FH and i have been dating for just over 2 years now ... during that time, we're pretty much seen his family about 10 times per year (if that) ... after FH and i are married, is that going to change?

i don't understand why everyone thinks it will change ... i feel like whatever it used to be will continue to be regardless of my marital status.

am i wrong?

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its only going to change if you want it to change...

I could write a book about FH's fam.

I kinda have, if you tear through some of my posts about them.

It's not his whole family that I don't like. It's mostly the FMIL and a few other people that seem to be born without a filter and never learned their manners.

But I fell in love with him, and we're the ones getting married. We're not going to let other people get in the way of that. We're both going to be a part of each others' families but at the same time, we'll be out own little family unit...even if it's just him and I and our cats (no kiddos)...we'll still be playing by our rules and doing what we want to do.

I feel your pain!!!!

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Posted by kris_gets_hitched

How does your FH feel about his family?

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in the beginning, he thought his family was the best thing since sliced bread .... now he sees that they're annoying and/or boring and not fun .... but he's still pretty defensive of them.

Obviously I have this same issue...and I pretty much came to the conclusion that not only do they not have any familial feelings for me, but they genuinely do not treat me like I am their family...so I see it as FH and I are starting our own family independent of anyone else, and we get to set the parameters for who we consider to be a part of that family.

I've felt a lot better about the whole situation since I came to this conclusion.

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

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Posted by kris_gets_hitched

How does your FH feel about his family?

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in the beginning, he thought his family was the best thing since sliced bread .... now he sees that they're annoying and/or boring and not fun .... but he's still pretty defensive of them.

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Okay well...think about it...pretty much EVERYONE thinks that way about their families.

It's true.

We (well mostly all of us) love our families but also find them to be annoying, boring and not fun at times.

Those aren't really reasons to feel like you shouldn't get married. You say you don't like them but they haven't really done anything to you. Girl, you should read through some of the posts about nightmare in-laws. You're lucky if they're just annoying or boring. Some of us have to deal with having an FH being disowned by a family member, being called names, having screaming matches, dealing with substance abusers. Some of this applies to me, and I know it applies to a few other girls on here.

Some of us would kill to have in-laws that are just annoying.

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Posted by kris_gets_hitched

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

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Posted by kris_gets_hitched

How does your FH feel about his family?

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in the beginning, he thought his family was the best thing since sliced bread .... now he sees that they're annoying and/or boring and not fun .... but he's still pretty defensive of them.

---

Okay well...think about it...pretty much EVERYONE thinks that way about their families.

It's true.

We (well mostly all of us) love our families but also find them to be annoying, boring and not fun at times.

Those aren't really reasons to feel like you shouldn't get married. You say you don't like them but they haven't really done anything to you. Girl, you should read through some of the posts about nightmare in-laws. You're lucky if they're just annoying or boring. Some of us have to deal with having an FH being disowned by a family member, being called names, having screaming matches, dealing with substance abusers. Some of this applies to me, and I know it applies to a few other girls on here.

Some of us would kill to have in-laws that are just annoying.

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THIS... couldnt have said it better

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Posted by kris_gets_hitched

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

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Posted by kris_gets_hitched

How does your FH feel about his family?

---

in the beginning, he thought his family was the best thing since sliced bread .... now he sees that they're annoying and/or boring and not fun .... but he's still pretty defensive of them.

---

Okay well...think about it...pretty much EVERYONE thinks that way about their families.

It's true.

We (well mostly all of us) love our families but also find them to be annoying, boring and not fun at times.

Those aren't really reasons to feel like you shouldn't get married. You say you don't like them but they haven't really done anything to you. Girl, you should read through some of the posts about nightmare in-laws. You're lucky if they're just annoying or boring. Some of us have to deal with having an FH being disowned by a family member, being called names, having screaming matches, dealing with substance abusers. Some of this applies to me, and I know it applies to a few other girls on here.

Some of us would kill to have in-laws that are just annoying.

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That's true...FMIL would never say so, but she definitely thinks I'm spoiled, selfish, stuck up and hates the fact that I'm a Jew...and FSIL has called me every name in the book, she's literally a heathen and a devil woman...I really hate them both but I would never not marry FH over it.

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Posted by kris_gets_hitched

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

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Posted by kris_gets_hitched

How does your FH feel about his family?

---

in the beginning, he thought his family was the best thing since sliced bread .... now he sees that they're annoying and/or boring and not fun .... but he's still pretty defensive of them.

---

Okay well...think about it...pretty much EVERYONE thinks that way about their families.

It's true.

We (well mostly all of us) love our families but also find them to be annoying, boring and not fun at times.

Those aren't really reasons to feel like you shouldn't get married. You say you don't like them but they haven't really done anything to you. Girl, you should read through some of the posts about nightmare in-laws. You're lucky if they're just annoying or boring. Some of us have to deal with having an FH being disowned by a family member, being called names, having screaming matches, dealing with substance abusers. Some of this applies to me, and I know it applies to a few other girls on here.

Some of us would kill to have in-laws that are just annoying.

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I'd like to clarify since what i said apparently didn't come out right

1. i'm not REALLY re-considering marrying FH ... i do love him and we truly are a perfect match. I couldn't be happier with him!

2. FH's family HAS done things to me that were extremely rude and awful. Nothing today though (which is what i mean when i said that they haven't done anything). I've posted several rants about them (and i have many others that i haven't posted) so it's not like i dislike them for no reason at all.