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I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! - long

Original post by luvabul

im in tears right now , FH mom is craZy, i tell u crazy, a week ago i had posted up something about her being twisted...and now i just cant take it anymore

I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING

ill update when i stop crying .... sorry, ill write the rest out in a lil bit


UPDATE

Ah… here it goes

All throughout college [undergrad] I had my own apartment, now that im in grad school… I moved back in with my parents to save money and plus my house is kinda big so im just in one corner of the house, don’t get disturbed etc. which is nice.. cuz I adore my parents and I missed spending quality time with them. I have 2 younger brother and 1 younger sister.

My FH lil bro is 14 and and so is my brother- they are/used be BEST FRIENDS. That’s how we kinda met. Anyways my mom is out of the country for 2 weeks, and therefore I assumed all the responsibilities at home, I cook clean, laundry etc… which im not used too lol cuz my mom used to do all that basically.

FH mom knows I guess Im studying for final exams [the semesters about to end] so she offers to send food over, and I told her no its okay I know ur busy too and I don’t want it to be hectic for you thanks..she insists, so I say okay thank u a lot! She said she will come over at 5 pm and I told her no problem , I MAY NOT be home, because I have to run a few errands and get some groceries done. Shes says okay itll be just a few minutes, but if ur not home ill drop it off w/ ur brothers….

Anyways I waited till 5:30 she didn’t come, so I left to go to do my stuff, and she comes over and brings lets call him {brian} … her 14 year old son, who is a rude, bratty, rebel, bad in school, gets in to fights, etc etc…. she drops off the food and my brothers say thank you…and than they ASSUME since my dads at work and my moms not in the country that shes gona leave…but she comes inside and stays in my house on a weekday when the kids have school and HW and stuff to do …she stays over for 1hr 45 minz and asks my brother oh can u please help brian? I don’t know what to do with him, his behavior keeps getting worse and worse? And brian starts yelling back, and in a nut shell they get in to a HUGE FIGHT in my living room for about a good hour, just screaming and cursing back and forth…and meanwhile my 7 year old sister is at home, listening to this and she gets worried n freaked out so she goes to her room and closes the door.

It gets better…my brother is 16 years old he has a licence but clearly my parents do not want him to drive alone… so FMIL and her son are fighting like cats n dogs, and when shes about to leave, shes like go away brian don’t come in my car I don’t wana take you with me, and she asks my brother Steven to DROP HIM OFF INSTEAD….she knows my brothers have to take care of my sister…and she knows hes 16years old and my mom would not want him to take the car out at night… she doesn’t care…she didn’t “feel like taking him” with her, so she just shoves the responsibility on my family I guess.

And last week, on a Wednesday night [school night] she calls my house 12:30AM everyons sleeping mind you…and shes like Brian just broke the shower door. Can I drop him at your house , hes very angry he needs to calm down, maybe u can talk to him? [says this to my brothers] my brother is like umm im SLEEPING, everyone else is sleeping, cant u drop him off tohis cousins house??? And my brother steven is like, “besides my mom is not here, and my dad will leave for work, itll get hectic”

FMIL hears this and gets infuriated and says omg ive never asked you for anything, but just this one time, I wanted him to stay at ur house, u disappointed me”


HELLO!!! My moms not around, my brothers are 16 and 14 and sister is 7, theyre supposed to TAKE CARE OF YOUR WILD SON??? In the MIDDLE of the night??

And what favor is she asking of a freaking 16 year old….

And than she goes to my brother…tell your sister NOT to tell Adam [my FH] …duhh cuz if FH found out she was doing this and disturbing us, he would be infuriated….


I don’t know she does the most disrespectful, inconsiderate things, and mind you they come from a very well educated, rich family… I think shes just crazy.!! How can u fight like an animal in someones house when theyre parents are not home, she made a spectacle of herself infront of my brothers and sister.

Im so pissed off, I went out for like an hour, and she started a huge fight in my living room cursing back and forth, and she even yelled at my brothers… argh … and they think shes crazy…


I TOLD FH – and he goes, well…. Its not that big of a deal calm down, she was probably frustrated…

Well I don’t give a CRAP, u don’t act like that in my house….


Besides that…she called me up today and told me for an hour about how she went to the mall and bought all these pretty dresses for my niece and went shopping for her daughter {FSIL} who I do like very much, but meanwhile she hasn’t done a single thing in regards to the wedding… she hasn’t done her end…


SORRY im so frustrated…theres so much MORE she does i dont know if i can deal with this lady for the rest of my life... some ppl tell me to be careful because you marry in to the family...
but i want it to be just me and FH ...
jellybean1420 Posted:

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! - long

Pls. do not call off your wedding b/c of your in-laws. I barely have a relationship with my in-laws (long story) and there were times I wanted to end my relationship with DH b/c of it and I realized what a mistake it would be. If you are truely happy with him you guys can work it out. What does DH say about the situation? He really needs to step in and put his foot down and say she is becoming a burden in your relationship. Maybe he should also speak to his brother to help put some sense into him.

KellyNSean Posted:

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! - long

I totally get how you feel! If you only knew the mess I was marrying into. You have to keep remembering that your FH has to always take your side. I have made that very clear to mine. I'm very nervous about the life ahead when it comes to my inlaws. Some days I even consider moving across the damn country! Just take a deep breath. If it gets worse you should stand your ground and say something to your FMIL...but you might want to wait until after the wedding.


Good luck!
Bridex100 Posted:

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! - long

I'm sorry but she just doesn't sound like a classy woman.

Remember that you are marrying FH, not his mother.

My FMIL drives me crazy at times. It used to bother me so much but now I just bite my lip and let it slide. It just isn't worth the negativity.
Kara and Todd Posted:

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! - long

Posted by curliegirl

sorry to hear your troubles, and I wish I could agree with many of these replies, BUT......

You ARE marrying his family, whether you like it or not. They are a part of his life, and unless he is willing to write them off (not likely it seems), then they are going to become part of your life too.

You need to figure out a way to deal with them ASAP because it will take it's toll on your marriage. Things like this do not change just because you get married, so I suggest you figure this out befor ethe wedding...

Good luck!


Agree 100%.

And ignoring her when you can is not a solution to this problem...
M&S Sept12006 Posted:

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! - long

First of all Im sorry that you're going through this...second...GOOD LUCK...your FMIL sounds like one disturbed woman...maybe thats who the 14 year old takes after. In any event...I think you should speak to your FH about this...

FallBride05 Posted:

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! - long

Posted by Bridex100

I'm sorry but she just doesn't sound like a classy woman.

Remember that you are marrying FH, not his mother.

My FMIL drives me crazy at times. It used to bother me so much but now I just bite my lip and let it slide. It just isn't worth the negativity.


Not entirely true.... when you marry your FH, you are becoming a member of that family, you ARE marrying the family as well on a certain level.

Curliegirl hit it right on the head, you need to talk to your FH and nip this NOW before you are married. Don't forget that a wedding is just that, a wedding...it may seem like the most important thing to you NOW, but it's a day, it's a party, and following that is a MARRIAGE that takes alot of work. Try not to lose sight of that.
Mrs.Z Posted:

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! - long

Posted by ama1771

don't call off your future due to your inlaws. I agree you are marrying your fi not his parents.
Let us know if we can help!

our fmil started a fight tonight so i know how you feel at times.


I feel bad you are going through this, but you have to remeber, yes you are marring him, AND his family. Its a package deal. Keep that in mind, Im sure there are things your family does the FH isnt crazy about but he loves you and deals. Trust me about the package deal thing. Things will get easier.
Kara and Todd Posted:

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! - long

Posted by FallBride05

Posted by Bridex100

I'm sorry but she just doesn't sound like a classy woman.

Remember that you are marrying FH, not his mother.

My FMIL drives me crazy at times. It used to bother me so much but now I just bite my lip and let it slide. It just isn't worth the negativity.


Not entirely true.... when you marry your FH, you are becoming a member of that family, you ARE marrying the family as well on a certain level.

Curliegirl hit it right on the head, you need to talk to your FH and nip this NOW before you are married. Don't forget that a wedding is just that, a wedding...it may seem like the most important thing to you NOW, but it's a day, it's a party, and following that is a MARRIAGE that takes alot of work. Try not to lose sight of that.


FallBride05 - Beautifully said!
luvabul Posted:

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! - long

thanks everyone....i went out to dinner with FH and we had a longgg long talk, and he actually AGREED, hes gets really frustrated and i understand because if someone disliked my mom i would not be happy and i would have a hard time listening to that also....

we went back to the reason of WHY we want to get married in the first place - cuz were so in love and hes upset that his mom cant be happy for him....

sometimes all you can do is bite your tongue, im not the type of person that likes to go to war over lil things, its just that these lil things have been building up...and than i just blow up...

he talked to his mom and she felt like she did nothing wrong, and got mad at him, he got mad at her...and now theyre not speaking - i mean that is NOT WHAT I WANT...what i wanted was for her to be respectful and nice, i dont want their to be an icy relationship between a mother and a son...cuz it probably hurts both of them...

anyways im not losing sight of the bigger thing here..which is me and him..

but thanks for all the support everyone!!!! ....



ama1771 Posted:

Re: I SO WANT TO CALL OFF THE WEDDING!!! - long

best wishes, love will conquer all

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