I think he's going 2 cancel!

Original post by nervousbride15

Jun 04, 2004 04:37 PM

I am a regular user on these boards, but changed my name to post this issue.

I just had a conversation with my FH and I think he is going to cancel our wedding

He told me that forever is a long time! when I said that marriage to me IS forever, he said he didn't know if he could do that! He has been thinking about it alot lately and he isn't sure if he can do it bc he doesnt see us as having the kind of relationship now that he wants in the future- when I asked him why he proposed to me in the first place-his answer was 'i don't know'

I dunno what to do right now-I'm confused, hurt, stressed, anxiety filled and everything else.

thanks

Boop2704 Posted: Jun 04, 2004 05:39 PM

Re: I think he's going 2 cancel!

Do you live together? Maybe you both just need some time apart to let him see how much he loves you. Wedding planning is very stressful. DH and I fought a lot during the planning and I myself questioned our relationship. But we worked through things that were bothering us and are totally happier than ever now that we are married. I definitely suggest sitting down with your FH and discuss exactly what he does want and see in your future together. Maybe it is little things bothering him that can be addressed. But if it is something bigger, well, maybe it is not something you want to be in. You deserve a man that wants to spend the rest of his life with you and has no doubts. You don't want to enter into marriage wondering how long til he decides this is not what he wants. You have to think about yourself and what is best for you. Talk with him, in person, and see exactly what he wants for the future and if you are capable of offering it. Lots of Hugs and I hope everything works out for YOU!!!

Bride2B93 Posted: Jun 04, 2004 06:01 PM

Re: I think he's going 2 cancel!

Hopefully it is all just stress! You should try to talk to him! Best of Luck!

RedHead Posted: Jun 04, 2004 06:12 PM

Re: I think he's going 2 cancel!

I don't know what to say..so i will give hugs

LIJuneBride Posted: Jun 04, 2004 06:40 PM

Re: I think he's going 2 cancel!

I'm sorry to hear he's having doubts, but as others have said, better now than later. Counseling is definitely an option. I know you have everything booked already, but that is no reason for him to go through with this if it's not what he wants. Your future is more important than that. Good luck and remember whatever happens is for the best.

JZNCK Posted: Jun 04, 2004 06:42 PM

Re: I think he's going 2 cancel!

I'm sorry, people get nervous before a wedding, i defiantely think you two should talk to someone!!!!! GOOD LUCK I hope it all works out

aliciahelene Posted: Jun 04, 2004 06:47 PM

Re: I think he's going 2 cancel!

FM!!! I dont know if you necessarily need counseling, he sounds like he's the one who needs to figure out whats up. I sent ya very detailed FM..I hope you are ok!!!

soon2bmrs2004 Posted: Jun 04, 2004 06:48 PM

Re: I think he's going 2 cancel!

I am soo sorry to hear this. I think , as someone suggested before, that the two of you need to get away together and discuss this. I also think outside help is necessary.
I wish you the best and I hop[e everything works out!!!!!

Vicky1706 Posted: Jun 04, 2004 06:50 PM

Re: I think he's going 2 cancel!

I hope everyting works out for you

palebride Posted: Jun 04, 2004 07:00 PM

Re: I think he's going 2 cancel!

i'm so sorry - i have no words of advice for you - just hugs!
hope it works out for the best!!

lillian771 Posted: Jun 04, 2004 08:24 PM

Re: I think he's going 2 cancel!

I am SO sorry for you. Hang in there and trust that things will work out for the best.

PrincessJen11400 Posted: Jun 04, 2004 08:30 PM

Re: I think he's going 2 cancel!

If he is worth fighting for then fight for him hun. Do what every u got to do if u think he is the one. Good luck and were all here for u.

Spitzergirl Posted: Jun 04, 2004 09:06 PM

Re: I think he's going 2 cancel!

he is problay having cold feet..............

Go ahead...and warm them up tonight..if you know what i mean!!!!

Get to work girl!!!!!

regi Posted: Jun 04, 2004 09:09 PM

Re: I think he's going 2 cancel!

TracyInQueens Posted: Jun 04, 2004 09:34 PM

Re: I think he's going 2 cancel!

I would keep your distance this weekend. Let him figure it out for himself. It just might be cold feet. And as someone else said, it's little consolation, but better now than later, if he really isn't going to be the right one for you.

OSCARtheGROOM Posted: Jun 04, 2004 10:45 PM

Re: I think he's going 2 cancel!

Shea Posted: Jun 04, 2004 10:55 PM

Re: I think he's going 2 cancel!

i agree with the distance thing....maybe he too is just overwhelmed with the planning and everything....give him the weekend....just relax hun. it will all work out.

jess2504 Posted: Jun 04, 2004 11:30 PM

Re: I think he's going 2 cancel!

I agree with what everyone is saying and give him some space to think things through. Wedding planning is definitely stressful and sometimes you just need to set aside some time to de-stress and spend time together. I think it is totally normal and healthy to question whether you can spend 'forever' with somebody because it isn't easy. You don't live happily ever after, marriage is something you really need to work at, as evidenced by the high divorce rate. That being said, if you feel he is truly the one, and he feels that way about you, chances are he will come around. Just give him some space. JMO.
Edited to add: We are all here for you!

oakslady Posted: Jun 05, 2004 12:03 AM

Re: I think he's going 2 cancel!

sounds like some wedding stress - the planning sure puts alot of stress on a relationship - counselling definately - you may give him a few days to calm down but not too long - then try to get to talk to him face to face - dont yell and try not to cry - that will just put him on the defensive-
you may also try having one of his close friends find out what the story is
however it turns out i wish you the best of luck

bogiedmb41 Posted: Jun 05, 2004 12:38 AM

Re: I think he's going 2 cancel!

i think that you should try to leave him alone until sunday and let him cool down. then ask him if he is willing to go away with you for a night or two, sit and talk everything out and suggest seeing a couples counsler. if he asked you to marry him there must be something there. try to work it out. if you need anything you can fm me also. we are here for you