Not because of problems between FH and I, but because of his parents. I thought this was supposed to be 'our' day and it is far from that. So many bad things have been going on and neither one of us feel it in our heart to go through this our special day. Apparently, we are been selfish because of what we want for 'our' wedding. Have you ever heard of such a thing. We're also paying for this wedding ourselves. The nerve of people. FH's step dad does not want FH to see his mom until the day of our wedding, which is 6/18. He thinks it's best like that. To us, that's the most dumbest advice you could give someone. So we should hold everything in and act phony to each other and possible risk having a brawl on our special day. They are so wrong with this. FH is going to try to make peace between them for my sake, but I honestly don't see them budging. Sorry so long, but I'm a complete wreck now.
july06bride
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Re: I think I might have to cancel my wedding
I am so sorry you have to go through this weeks before your wedding! Thats terrible of them to be doing this to you and FH- but try not to let them ruin YOUR day! I dont have too much advice but i do have good luck!
acre730
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Re: I think I might have to cancel my wedding
awww cheer up I know it must be so hard (I have FIL issues as well and can on some level relate) FI and I had wanted to have the wedding 'our' way and FIL's have made it very clear that they always disappointed in our choices. What I have learned throughout the wedding planning is that they will NEVER be happy with ANYTHING....so why knock myself out trying..
That being said. I do think that making peace for the short time that you have left until the wedding is a great idea...I hope that it is a real possibility because I would hate for you to have to stop the process and all of the hard work that you have done just because of some friction. Good luck and cheer up!
jimmysgrl
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Re: I think I might have to cancel my wedding
Holy cow! It does sound like they are TRYING to make everything about them, but it's up to you to choose how to react to it. Anytime they ask for something ludicrous, out of what you guys want, just throw back that you are paying for it and that you are both going to have the wedding of your dreams. Its so great that you have one another but maybe don't even answer the phone if their requests get to the point that they are ruining your remaining weeks or TELL them how they are effecting you so that if they have a grain of sanity, they will back off. I am so sorry
brooklynbridezilla
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Re: I think I might have to cancel my wedding
Ugh, I am so sorry you are going through that. I wouldn't cancel your wedding, though. I'd try to work out the problems now, but make it very clear that if they cannot behave and plan on ruining your wedding, they will not be invited.
Mrs. dleeny
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Re: I think I might have to cancel my wedding
UGH! I hate hearing stories like this! Cheer up! this is YOUR DAY!! try and tune everyone else out.
simbacat
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Re: I think I might have to cancel my wedding
Thanks all for your support. I truly appreciate it. What a way to celebrate a happy time !
usuk2004
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Re: I think I might have to cancel my wedding
YOu're so close, I wouldn't cancel now! It'll all work out, you'll see!
OctRo05
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Re: I think I might have to cancel my wedding
I agree with the ladies. Try not to let the ruin your day. They had their wedding, you should have yours. If you have to, don't let them come(just because they are related by blood doesn't make it mandatory for them to be invited). Sacrificing your happiness is something we all do. But it only makes sense when it's reasonable. They would rather you lose all your money and plans..unreasonable. I will say a prayer for you right now. I hope you work it out.
melissaandsean
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Re: I think I might have to cancel my wedding
don't let other people ruin your day. They only have the power to do that, when you give it to them. Let their sh!t go and make the best of your union with the love of your life. I know it's not easy, but in the end, you'll be so happy!!
Chin up!
kimmiekakes
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Member since
Re: I think I might have to cancel my wedding
AAWWW, sorry you are going through this, but I have HUGE FIL issues, but you know what, I was at your point a few months back, but decided against canceling it. This is your day and you guys are paying for it. What you say goes and if they can't deal with that then to bad. I understand it is family, but I finally decided not to let them ruin our day. My FIL's have said so many things that they feel is wrong with the way we planned this wedding, but oh well to bad. This isn't about them, it is about you and your FH. I agree with melissaandsean, CHIN UP! I will keep you in my prayers on your wedding day, it is the same as mine!
salsbride06
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Re: I think I might have to cancel my wedding
i am so sorry that you are going through this. it is very unfair that they are making 'your day' to be so horrible. hopefully things can be sorted out before your wedding day. we are here to help......many hugs to you
halfpintny
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Re: I think I might have to cancel my wedding
Don't you dare cancel that wedding laurie!!!!! If I've learned anything it's that the wedding is about you two and not anyone else.
Ang&Rich
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Re: I think I might have to cancel my wedding
I'm so sorry that you both have to deal with this. FH sounds like a really great guy though - wanting to clear this up so it doesn't interfere rather than ignoring it. I hope it all works out for you.
06NovBride
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Re: I think I might have to cancel my wedding
I am so sorry you are going through this. remember this is about you and your FH. Don't let other family members ruin what is going to be a beautiful day for the two of you. to you.
laborday06
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Member since
Re: I think I might have to cancel my wedding
It's your day, so have it. Don't worry about the family...everyone gets stressed out and has an opinion when it comes to the wedding. Once the wedding is done things will blow over.
The day is about you and your FH, so don't worry and make sure you two enjoy YOUR day!
SeptWed
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Re: I think I might have to cancel my wedding
This is your wedding day. I was upset about a lot of things going on between parents and wedding party...in the end i let it all slip on past me and said screw these people.....this is our day and no one elses. You are too close to the happiest day of your life to cancel it over other people. Just don't listen anymore.....trust me when these people don't have an audience they shut up.
glinda_goodwitch
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Re: I think I might have to cancel my wedding
Really, I think you should have your wedding. Its only a few more weeks of this, and remember that you are marrying your FH, not your FILs. You should not let their issues take away from your special day. Its about you and your FH. My FMIL couldn't have a wedding with a reception because her FILs refused to go. So instead she got married at town hall because of them, and to this day she still wishes she had a wedding. Don't let them get the better of you. As long as they are willing to show up and be happy for you, have YOUR wedding. Good luck!
mendara
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Re: I think I might have to cancel my wedding
It seems a lot of brides go through this - I am going through it too, although I have alwyas been the type to just smile and still do what I want - then people seem to realize they can't change my mind and they give up. For the first few months of planning this wedding I think I cried like three times - the first time was because the catering hall i picked was put down by my fiance's aunt - i was so happy to announc ethe location and she went ahead and said the food was terrible and that not to expect people to give me a lot of money in my envelopes because i had chosent his place - I could not believe my ears - she told me those envelopes come in open and then after people eat and have a good time they evaluate how much they should put in as a gift!!!!
had I known these were the type people coming to my wedding i would not get maried but excuse me - i thought these were people who love us??
anyway - i cried like a lunatic and my fiance tried to calm me but I hated her for a while then realized it was not owrth it - and I still booked the place - !
then came the bridesmaid delema - i had chosen a few bridesmaids right away - the obvious choices like my sister and best firend - but I waited a while for the rest -t hen I ask my fiance's cousin who i love very much - and she said NO - because I didn't ask her right away the way I asked my sister and best friend and that she would rather be a guest because if i really wanted her to be a bridesmaid I would have asked her before! holy crap! and that she will try not to harbor bad feelings for me!
I couldn't believe my ears! I had to exclude a groomsman because i was missing a bridesmaid.
then came the priest vs the minister - neither my fiance and i are religious we want a spiritual ceremony - people were actual so upset in his family they were begging us and saying they will not come to the wedding!
i booked the minister - told everyone if they love us they will come.
so my point is - this is about you and your fiance and the more you repeat those very words the more they will understand or at least try.
weddings make people crazy - i don't understand it.
RedRoses
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Re: I think I might have to cancel my wedding
You can let them ruin 'your' day, but you can't let them ruin your life. Always remember it's a party--an expensive one, but just a party. The ceremony is what binds you, so keep that in mind. The reception is a celebration, but that celebration is not worth ruining what happens in that short ceremony. If you cancel your wedding, you've let them ruin the rest of your life! Don't give them that power... So they ruin the party--it's 5 hours.
