I think i'm gonna call it off....

I am so sorry you are going through this. That is terrible and there is nothing said that can help. You have to make your decision but I am sorry I don't see anything about counseling. FH and I were at each other's throats and I suggested counseling for us to work out our differences with a mediator there. Well 2 months in counseling helped us and we look at things differently. We still have our arguments but we respect each other now and listen to one another. Maybe that will help you..Good luck and we are all here for ya!

First off to you at this time in your life.

You should do a hypothetical here.....if you decided to call off this big wedding and go to Vegas to elope would you be happy they way you thought you would.

Weddings bring out the worst in people...families, friends, even our future mates. You just have to think about what you want going forward in your future. If you have seen aspects of your fiance that you cannot live with in the future then you should call this off.

The wedding is only one day of your life, your relationship has to be able to sustain years.

Good luck.

Do what your heart tells you to do!

You don't have to cancel the marriage..you may want to cancel the wedding. I would postpone the marriage..which in turn would postpone the reception.

Work out the issues between you first..confronting hard relationship issues is one of the toughest things you will ever have to do. Having said that, I feel that if you conquer that, you will be able to see the relationship for what it truly is..good or bad..

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Posted by DAVALJO2

The best advice i could give is to PRAY about it.
I don't know what ure faith is but it never hurts to PRAY.

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DITTO!!!!!!!!!!!

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Posted by Blu-ize

You don't have to cancel the marriage..you may want to cancel the wedding. I would postpone the marriage..which in turn would postpone the reception.

Work out the issues between you first..confronting hard relationship issues is one of the toughest things you will ever have to do. Having said that, I feel that if you conquer that, you will be able to see the relationship for what it truly is..good or bad..

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I agree with this!

First of all I am so sorry that you have to deal with controlling ILs. I have heard so many stories about controlling IL/parents its terrible...its comes out the most during the wedding planning and then again when you have children. My point being this is very common. Yes ideally we would all have supportive and non-intrusive families but this is not reality. People deal with this a lot and get through it. I think it can be done. I think the key to getting through it is for you and your FI to be on the same page and on the same team. Only you know if you are or if you can be in the future. I give you a lot of credit for being so strong. This is a tough decision...Good luck. I'm sure it will work out.

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Posted by melissaandsean

Sometimes you need to let go and see what happens. If the two of you are meant to be together, it will happen at the right time. Now doesn't seem to be that time. step back and really think about the life long committement you are about to make. There's no going back. There's no changing it.

Hang in there!

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I definitely agree with this excellent advice. This is a second marriage for me and if I had only listened to this advice when it came my way, I may never have gotten married in the first place. Now I have the sadness of finally finding the right person for me and the wedding isn't a new experience like it is for him. It is amazing what some time alone to think can do for you. I hope everything works out the way you want it to.

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

His family is getting way too involved in decisions that are you and FH decisions to make. For a lot of women, their wedding day is the most important day of their life and have dreamed about it for years. His family is stealing your dreams by dictating how you should celebrate and what you should wear and what wedding bands you & FH are going to wear for the rest of your lives!!!! You really need to have a heart-to-heart with FH. When he hears that you are considering postponing the wedding, his response will tell you how seriously he takes your needs and feelings. It should be a wake-up call for him to step up to the plate. If he doesn't do it now, he never will.
Before my friend got married she went to a weekend retreat called 'Engaged Encounters' that allowed couples to really get to know each other before getting married. I can get more info if you need it. Just FM me.

Good Luck!!!!

I'm so sorry that your going through this. A friend of mine was going through something somewhat similar 1 1/2 years ago. It's hard in the beginning, but it will get easier. The best advice I can tell you is, do what your heart tells you and in the end you will be much happier. FM if you need to talk.

I wish I had some wise old words to say to make any of this the slight bit easier but I have to say....my God you are a strong woman. A lot of people ignore the doubts and push them aside but you really are something else, standing up and recognizing it for what it is. I wish I could tell you what was right and what should be done, but the truth is, from where your heart is now, I'm sure you already know. With your strength, I'm sure you already know you deserve respect, you deserve your future husband to show you respect (even if that means sticking up for you) and most of all you deserve to spend the rest of your life with someone with similar values and morals. And maybe some of what you see concerns you. A wedding is a one day thing, comes and goes in 24 hours but if the wedding planning is showing you something about your FH that concerns you about the rest of your life, then take the next step, take a deep breath and do what is right for you. There is no need to rush the rest of your life because that is a long time to be unhappy. A break may be exactly what your FH needs to recognize what is going on, but maybe its a break you need to find out what you want in a husband and the love of your life. We're always here if you ever want to talk

Good luck in whatever you decide to do

Honey, Trust your instincts!

Sorry to hear about your situation
Good luck

My heart goes out to you