i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

ive paid for my hall, flowers, just paid for invitations last week.....i have my dress.... 73 days till the wedding ...

and i couldnt be more miserable at this point.
i feel like running away...i would if i didnt have such loving parents and family

Before we got engaged.... me and FH went to the indian day parade in the city ...[side note i dont know how it is with other parades but here young ppl usually go to hook up, find a guy/girl etc] and yea then theyre are the people who are coming with families and actually do wana enjoy

so that day we were sitting on the bench eating ice cream... and mind you im NOT way overprotective over FH.... i know theres a 100001 girls out theyre... so were sitting and these 2 girls keep walking by and smiling and giggling at FH KNOWING im sitting with him......

FH goes oh shes cute, maybe i can set her up for my brother ...FH brother is verryyy nice but has always had a bad streak dating, ....so i kid and im like why dont u get her # for him, and he goes WHaT are u serious??? and im like yeah shes pretty and she would make a nice match for him... so shes standing in the corner just smiling n giggling and FH goes and talks to her ..OFCOURSE i see the WHOLEE thing, im right their eating my ice cream

so yea he got her #,

to cut a long story short.... he HUNG OUT WITH HEr alone... they went to the movies and than went out for coffee..... and he NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT IT .... i finally found out because the investigator i am, i found out her screen name and spoke to her etc...and SHE TOLD ME they hung out and to top it all off, she told me she thought i was HIS COUSIN....

so we had a hugeeeeeeeee fight over it.... i didnt talk to him for a month, i cried forever.... and finally he promised he wouldnt speak to her, she was nobody, i dont compare to her, etcc and he told me he swore he didnt do anything with her... didnt even hold her hand, or nothing...


so TODAY i talk to her online again, and shes like hows everything, beautiful weather bla blah and im like yeah probably going out with Adam tonight... and sneakily i insert have u talked to him recently?? [cuz she doesnt know we fought but i did tell her were engaged now and that im not his F--ing cousin] and she goes yeah i did talk to him infact...

so im thinking ok maybe he Instant messeged her just to say hii...id be PISSED at that too, but shes like no he called me a few days ago on the phone!!... just to talk and see how she was doing

ok why the F*Ck does he care how shes doing, she not his friend, we met her randomly at a parade....

i am sooooooooooooooooooo upset i have no words ot describe it, i specifically told him NOT to talk ot her, and their was no reason, ...i dont know what on earth was going through his mind ....


i havent talked to him today, but im sure hes gona call soon.... what should i do??

i doubt shes lying about him calling, but i just wana ask him did you or did you not call her a few days ago? and if he says YES i dont know whats gona happen

oh my gosh sweetie just calm down turn off your phone think everything through, compose yourself and then talk to him. i'm praying for you!!!

Ugh, Im so sorry to hear this. I cant imagine how upset and pissed you must be, I certainly would be too if I didnt know what the heck was going on. Definitely offering you lots of hugs and prayers right now. You don't know this girl from a whole in the wall, she could want your man and be lying. Of course, she could be totally telling the truth. I would DEFINITELY sit down and have a long talk w/ FH about whether or not he still has contact w/ her, about how you now are going to have major trust issues over this, etc....just express how you are feeling about it. I am so sorry sweety. I cant tell you what to do, you really have to do what is in your heart. But if I found out he was still seeking contact w/ her behind my back, something major would have to change. He needs to cut off all communication or Id cut things off w/ him. But Im not in your situation and none of us can tell you what to do. I really hope that you and FH can talk this out and that everything gets worked out. If you feel like this is worth fighting for and working it all out, then you do what you can but FH is going to have to take actions to make some major changes so you feel like you can trust him again. Let us know how everything goes. You def have my prayers! :

ETA: if something more than there little meetings and talking went on, thats when i mean i may consider ending it. otherwise, def do what you need to do to try to make it work if fh is willing to make changes.

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Posted by luvabul

i dont think this stupid b*tch is worth ending my relationship of 5 years with FH, but something really need to change...

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right. then def talk to FH..lay it all out for him and let him know what and how things have to change. GL!!!

you poor thing- who needs the stress? Just have a good talk with FH and I hope it works out for you!

You really, really need to talk to your FH. It's not about the girl--it's true, she's nobody to you. It's about him seeing her behind your back. I'm not someone who thinks that engaged or married people have to give up all friends of the opposite sex, but you have to be careful about it, and you have to let your partner know what you're doing. Even if you only have friendly feelings towards that other person, it's not right to make your partner jealous.

Anyway, that said, your fiance hung out with another woman! Even if they didn't do anything physical, the fact that he's doing it behind your back is a huge red flag. And you're not even married yet, you're supposed to be engaged and in one of the most loving and close periods of your entire relationship. I would be very, very nervous about marrying someone who would do that. Keep in mind that it's much easier to call off a wedding than it is to get divorced. Don't get married if you have huge doubts just because you've spent a lot of money and everyone's been invited. Get married because you love this person unreservedly and you want to spend the rest of your life with him. Not because of a dress and flowers.

It doesn't sound like he's actually cheating on you, and I know a lot of guys get nervous when the wedding day is approaching, thinking about how they're never going to be with another woman, wondering if they're still attractive. It's very possible that's all it is, and he can be forgiven for that. I hope that's all it is.

Good luck.

thanks

I think I would be more upset about the fact that he lied- maybe they are just friends- but if they are, then why isn't he telling you about it, and why did he lie about who you are to her? I agree with the rest of the girls- you need to have a long talk- even if the girl is lying about him calling her, the fact that you even asked her shows you are not over the ordeal, and he is not doing enough to prove you can trust him. IMO, this has to do with more than just the girl- can you trust your FH? As much as this *****, it sounds like you two really need to sit down and evaluate your feelings for each other BEFORE the wedding.

good luck, i'm so sorry this is happening to you, and you have every right to be upset!

This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. By keeping this secret from you, he is creating distance. This is intimacy avoidance and could be symptomatic of much, much bigger problems. I think you really need to talk to FH and reassess this relationship and its future. He told the girl you were his COUSIN!! IMO, that is unacceptable and he will only change his ways if he if afraid to lose something really important, and honestly, even that may not change him. I wish you the best of luck and lits of

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Posted by Snickers76

This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. By keeping this secret from you, he is creating distance. This is intimacy avoidance and could be symptomatic of much, much bigger problems. I think you really need to talk to FH and reassess this relationship and its future. He told the girl you were his COUSIN!! IMO, that is unacceptable and he will only change his ways if he if afraid to lose something really important, and honestly, even that may not change him. I wish you the best of luck and lits of

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I couldn't have said it better myself!!
I also agree with all the Ladies here, you do NEED to address the issue with Fh and it has to be ASAP don't let this get out of control and def. do not let this come between the two of you.

You have your FM!!

I am sorry that you have to deal with this! You definetly need to talk to your FH about this. Maybe shut your phone off for a while and compose yourself. When you feel you are ready then talk to him. Calmy explain how you are feeling and then hear his side of the story. I can't tell you what to do because I am not in your situation, the bottom line is that you have to follow your heart and do what is right for you. Remember we are all here for you if you need us.

I am so sorry you are going through this. It will be hard for any of us to tell you what to do because we are not in your situation. I can tell you what I think I will do but I can't guarantee that if I was in your position it would be that easy.

My biggest fear is even if nothing happened between them, he still made her think that you are his cousin. I would wonder why he let her think that. She had to have asked who you were and it was his job to tell her that YOU and only YOU are his one and only. You could go through with the whole wedding but do it only if you have no doubt that you can trust him. Marriage is a huge commitment and it takes trust. Ask yourself if you get married and he comes home late (for legitimate reasons) what will be going through your head. You may drive yourself crazy for the rest of your life because of the trust factor. He may also be unhappy because you don't trust him even though he may realize its from this one incident.

Certainly figure out what you can and cannot get over. Figure out where your trust is and if all is well go through with it. If not, it will be hard but you may need to reconsider because it is better to end it now than live a life where there is no trust.

As I mentioned before, it is easy for me to tell you what I think but I may not know what you two have been through so ultimately, do what your gut tells you to. Use your head because sometimes the heart can lead us blindly.

I hope for the best for you!!!

I would be VERY upset with FH if I were you....

It's not about the girl, its about him hanging out with a random person he met at a parade AND telling her that you were her cousin - that part is the worst for me...


good luck and keep us posted!

Don't end it..just relax take a deep breath and talk with him. She is not worth ending things but you need to talk with him ASAP. Good luck

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Posted by Pencils

You really, really need to talk to your FH. It's not about the girl--it's true, she's nobody to you. It's about him seeing her behind your back. I'm not someone who thinks that engaged or married people have to give up all friends of the opposite sex, but you have to be careful about it, and you have to let your partner know what you're doing. Even if you only have friendly feelings towards that other person, it's not right to make your partner jealous.

Anyway, that said, your fiance hung out with another woman! Even if they didn't do anything physical, the fact that he's doing it behind your back is a huge red flag. And you're not even married yet, you're supposed to be engaged and in one of the most loving and close periods of your entire relationship. I would be very, very nervous about marrying someone who would do that. Keep in mind that it's much easier to call off a wedding than it is to get divorced. Don't get married if you have huge doubts just because you've spent a lot of money and everyone's been invited. Get married because you love this person unreservedly and you want to spend the rest of your life with him. Not because of a dress and flowers.

It doesn't sound like he's actually cheating on you, and I know a lot of guys get nervous when the wedding day is approaching, thinking about how they're never going to be with another woman, wondering if they're still attractive. It's very possible that's all it is, and he can be forgiven for that. I hope that's all it is.

Good luck.

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I have to agree with this post, and what would make me even more suspicious is why did she think you were his cousin. I'm sorry, I know this is prob not what you want to hear...but honestly if it were me, and he had hung out with her behind my back, told her I was his cousin, and still called her after I said not too, I would end it...It is alot easier to end it before you are married and have kids and have to go through a messy divorce. I really hope whatever you decide to do works out, and I hope you are ok..

I forgot to add, my ex and I were together for 8 years, and he cheated on me, it was hard but I got over him, and found my FH.....so don't base your decision on the 5 year thing..

omg sweetie ~ I am sorry you are going through all this.... maybe he is just getting cold feet (subconciously) since your wedding is coming up soon! I would talk to him... good luck! you will be in my thoughts

Oh my... I would be IRATE. I have a bad temper and wouldnt be able to hold in my anger.

Trust your gut. If you feel like he has been betraying you and this could extend into your marriage you have to TRUST YOUR GUT.

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Posted by cherilicious16

Oh my... I would be IRATE. I have a bad temper and wouldnt be able to hold in my anger.

Trust your gut. If you feel like he has been betraying you and this could extend into your marriage you have to TRUST YOUR GUT.

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I totally agree. I don't think I could ever trust FH again if he lied to me like that. Keep us posted.