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i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

Original post by luvabul

ive paid for my hall, flowers, just paid for invitations last week.....i have my dress.... 73 days till the wedding ...

and i couldnt be more miserable at this point.
i feel like running away...i would if i didnt have such loving parents and family

Before we got engaged.... me and FH went to the indian day parade in the city ...[side note i dont know how it is with other parades but here young ppl usually go to hook up, find a guy/girl etc] and yea then theyre are the people who are coming with families and actually do wana enjoy

so that day we were sitting on the bench eating ice cream... and mind you im NOT way overprotective over FH.... i know theres a 100001 girls out theyre... so were sitting and these 2 girls keep walking by and smiling and giggling at FH KNOWING im sitting with him......

FH goes oh shes cute, maybe i can set her up for my brother ...FH brother is verryyy nice but has always had a bad streak dating, ....so i kid and im like why dont u get her # for him, and he goes WHaT are u serious??? and im like yeah shes pretty and she would make a nice match for him... so shes standing in the corner just smiling n giggling and FH goes and talks to her ..OFCOURSE i see the WHOLEE thing, im right their eating my ice cream

so yea he got her #,

to cut a long story short.... he HUNG OUT WITH HEr alone... they went to the movies and than went out for coffee..... and he NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT IT .... i finally found out because the investigator i am, i found out her screen name and spoke to her etc...and SHE TOLD ME they hung out and to top it all off, she told me she thought i was HIS COUSIN....

so we had a hugeeeeeeeee fight over it.... i didnt talk to him for a month, i cried forever.... and finally he promised he wouldnt speak to her, she was nobody, i dont compare to her, etcc and he told me he swore he didnt do anything with her... didnt even hold her hand, or nothing...


so TODAY i talk to her online again, and shes like hows everything, beautiful weather bla blah and im like yeah probably going out with Adam tonight... and sneakily i insert have u talked to him recently?? [cuz she doesnt know we fought but i did tell her were engaged now and that im not his F--ing cousin] and she goes yeah i did talk to him infact...

so im thinking ok maybe he Instant messeged her just to say hii...id be PISSED at that too, but shes like no he called me a few days ago on the phone!!... just to talk and see how she was doing

ok why the F*Ck does he care how shes doing, she not his friend, we met her randomly at a parade....

i am sooooooooooooooooooo upset i have no words ot describe it, i specifically told him NOT to talk ot her, and their was no reason, ...i dont know what on earth was going through his mind ....


i havent talked to him today, but im sure hes gona call soon.... what should i do??

i doubt shes lying about him calling, but i just wana ask him did you or did you not call her a few days ago? and if he says YES i dont know whats gona happen


luvabul Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

thank you everyone for ur FM and support... i just really needed to vent ...

wifey08 Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

Posted by Renee615

Posted by cherilicious16

Oh my... I would be IRATE. I have a bad temper and wouldnt be able to hold in my anger.

Trust your gut. If you feel like he has been betraying you and this could extend into your marriage you have to TRUST YOUR GUT.


I totally agree. I don't think I could ever trust FH again if he lied to me like that. Keep us posted.



sorry to crash your board.....i totally agree!! have you heard from him?
LINDSAY AND BRIAN Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

i'm so sorry try to talk things out and follow your heart

AlliCatB Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

Marly Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

Kelly79 Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

bettybcafe Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

Posted by wifey08

Posted by Renee615

Posted by cherilicious16

Oh my... I would be IRATE. I have a bad temper and wouldnt be able to hold in my anger.

Trust your gut. If you feel like he has been betraying you and this could extend into your marriage you have to TRUST YOUR GUT.


I totally agree. I don't think I could ever trust FH again if he lied to me like that. Keep us posted.

I second this. How could he do this to you! I would be soooo upset...Im sorry Sara...

sorry to crash your board.....i totally agree!! have you heard from him?
butapecan3 Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

erase her number from his phone!
luvabul Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

its not even in his phone, ive been through his phone book
Renee615 Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

Posted by luvabul

its not even in his phone, ive been through his phone book


I'm sorry, but if he knew enough not to put her number in his phone, he knew he was doing something wrong. Have you spoken to him yet?
wifey08 Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

Posted by luvabul

its not even in his phone, ive been through his phone book


i dont mean to start drama ...but do you know her number? cause one of my good guy friends gf is controlling hes not allowed to talk to girls and shes mad when he talks to me and we been friends for 15+ yrs its insane i know he puts all the girls in his phone under a diff name like his friend michelle is mike......im not saying he did this but i know the games guys play so u can check the acutal numbers not just names?
luvabul Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

yup i agree... yeah ive talked to him, he's been calling me.... im still not over it and im not going to let it go so easily... he wanted to take me out to dinner today and talk it over.. but i said no ...basically yea hes pretty remorseful and feels awful... i kept crying and all he kept saying is how much he loves me and it was so stupid of him to do something like that... etc but i told him i just wanted a little alone time... i mean nothing he can so or do can justify the reason of calling her.

shes not his friend, he doesnt need to know how she was...their was just NO reason to call her ... so it really makes me wonder... she is in a long term serious relationship so i dont even know why the F*ck shes trying to contact him or even say Hi ... ... but lets see im just taking it one day at a time...

luvabul Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

i know, but i dont know her number, i just know her screename so i know when and if she comes online.

FH has friends that are girls, i dont care, he grew up with them - theyre like sisters, and i know them too.... and i have guy friends ..so thats all good..its not like im gona be like your not allowed to look /talk to women. that would be stupid of me. But shes nobody! and hes made her a somebody
portjeffbride Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

ooof, this is hard...

I must admit I didn't read a lot of the responses, so forgive me if I'm redundant....

The problems here are obvious. FH is not being honest or transparent... Transparency (ie. not hiding anything) is crucial to maintaining trust in the relationship. Interacting with her by himeself and not mentioning it to you tells volumes of his intent. He is obviously at least THINKING something that he wouldn't want you to know about. the 'cousin' thing is just outrageous...

Please, whatever you do, make sure you can have the utmost confidence that he will be always reliable, honest, and trustworthy....

Don't feel pressured to enter a marriage just becuase you're under contract with some vendors.... Your life is much more important than $$$

Future Mrs. Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

you must calmly talk about this with him!!!!!!!!!!!Don't get upset....no yelling or screaming (I'm sure you wouldn't anyway but I know that is something I am guilty of which is why I say it) and let him know what you're feeling.

See what he says and let the conversation take its course.........

I would not feel comfortable with this either.....
luvabul Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

i know i talked it out with my mom, im verryy close with my mom.... and she fully supports me with whatever my decision is... but she adores FH and while his intention was wrong he concealed stuff... she still thinks i should take in to consideration that nothing physical occurred, and this is the first time ive ever had to deal with something like this... and that she too is in a serious relationship.....

Future Mrs. Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

Posted by luvabul

i know i talked it out with my mom, im verryy close with my mom.... and she fully supports me with whatever my decision is... but she adores FH and while his intention was wrong he concealed stuff... she still thinks i should take in to consideration that nothing occurred, and this is the first time ive ever had to deal with something like this...


I think its great that your Mom is so helpful with this.....and I think you should value her opinion.
For sure. Mom's know best!

Deep down, only YOU can know what's right......only you know about the intimacies of your relationship and how things truly are. Things will NEVER be perfect all of the time.....thats life. Life will throw you all sorts of tests. In my experience....and I'm only in my 30s, married only 2 months.....but I do beleive that trust is number 1. Followed by sex, and respect of belief systems, and being on the same page of values and life goals.
All these things must be in place b/c once life takes over......these are the clays that keep you together.
portjeffbride Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

that is all true.... and in the end, is by far the most important....

you definitely have the power to lay down the law...

Also, it's good that he gets alone time right now to think about what he did wrong and what the ramifications are.... which will likely straighten him out....

so sorry you're going through this
nikkipast1977 Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

I really think u need to figure this out!!! Yeah, u are going out with him 5 or 7 years, but he is keeping stuff from u...
U didn't know he was talking or IM her all this time....Secrets are was causes fight and deception....I hope he is not hurting u..
Trusting each other and communication what makes Marriages work....
He needs to communicate to u now before u to go before God(or whatever religion) and say I do
For the rest of ur lives!!!!
my prayers are with u!!! But I am going to pray for him that he is not hurting u in anyway

I know we don't know each other, but girls are always there for each other
nikki
luvabul Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

yeah and no matter how much im hating his actions right now...at the end of the day i still do love him

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