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i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

Original post by luvabul

ive paid for my hall, flowers, just paid for invitations last week.....i have my dress.... 73 days till the wedding ...

and i couldnt be more miserable at this point.
i feel like running away...i would if i didnt have such loving parents and family

Before we got engaged.... me and FH went to the indian day parade in the city ...[side note i dont know how it is with other parades but here young ppl usually go to hook up, find a guy/girl etc] and yea then theyre are the people who are coming with families and actually do wana enjoy

so that day we were sitting on the bench eating ice cream... and mind you im NOT way overprotective over FH.... i know theres a 100001 girls out theyre... so were sitting and these 2 girls keep walking by and smiling and giggling at FH KNOWING im sitting with him......

FH goes oh shes cute, maybe i can set her up for my brother ...FH brother is verryyy nice but has always had a bad streak dating, ....so i kid and im like why dont u get her # for him, and he goes WHaT are u serious??? and im like yeah shes pretty and she would make a nice match for him... so shes standing in the corner just smiling n giggling and FH goes and talks to her ..OFCOURSE i see the WHOLEE thing, im right their eating my ice cream

so yea he got her #,

to cut a long story short.... he HUNG OUT WITH HEr alone... they went to the movies and than went out for coffee..... and he NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT IT .... i finally found out because the investigator i am, i found out her screen name and spoke to her etc...and SHE TOLD ME they hung out and to top it all off, she told me she thought i was HIS COUSIN....

so we had a hugeeeeeeeee fight over it.... i didnt talk to him for a month, i cried forever.... and finally he promised he wouldnt speak to her, she was nobody, i dont compare to her, etcc and he told me he swore he didnt do anything with her... didnt even hold her hand, or nothing...


so TODAY i talk to her online again, and shes like hows everything, beautiful weather bla blah and im like yeah probably going out with Adam tonight... and sneakily i insert have u talked to him recently?? [cuz she doesnt know we fought but i did tell her were engaged now and that im not his F--ing cousin] and she goes yeah i did talk to him infact...

so im thinking ok maybe he Instant messeged her just to say hii...id be PISSED at that too, but shes like no he called me a few days ago on the phone!!... just to talk and see how she was doing

ok why the F*Ck does he care how shes doing, she not his friend, we met her randomly at a parade....

i am sooooooooooooooooooo upset i have no words ot describe it, i specifically told him NOT to talk ot her, and their was no reason, ...i dont know what on earth was going through his mind ....


i havent talked to him today, but im sure hes gona call soon.... what should i do??

i doubt shes lying about him calling, but i just wana ask him did you or did you not call her a few days ago? and if he says YES i dont know whats gona happen


luvabul Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

thank you so much.... u girls are so great for cheering up
NinaChris07 Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

Posted by luvabul

yup i agree... yeah ive talked to him, he's been calling me.... im still not over it and im not going to let it go so easily... he wanted to take me out to dinner today and talk it over.. but i said no ...basically yea hes pretty remorseful and feels awful... i kept crying and all he kept saying is how much he loves me and it was so stupid of him to do something like that... etc but i told him i just wanted a little alone time... i mean nothing he can so or do can justify the reason of calling her.

shes not his friend, he doesnt need to know how she was...their was just NO reason to call her ... so it really makes me wonder... she is in a long term serious relationship so i dont even know why the F*ck shes trying to contact him or even say Hi ... ... but lets see im just taking it one day at a time...



you say he is remorseful but is he remoreseful because he was caught or because of what he did?
not to sound harsh....

why did he tell the girl you were his cousin?
thats would be the biggest issue for me, over hanging out, etc - that shows SERIOUS concealment...
did he tell you why he said you were his cousin?
nikkipast1977 Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

11:11
make a wish
nikkipast1977 Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

Anytime!!
It always works out...Put two feet on the ground and start walking...one foot at a time
Thats all you can do!!! The rest will figure it out
If he is the one... u will know, just listen
luvabul Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

yeah and he told me too, and i asked him why he did that? honestly i forgot what he even said but he said he would tell her that i was his gf than NOW FH... and whatever he never did, and than i told her...and i told him to STOP talking to her and that they CANT be friends...because of what he did the first time.... i dont know what part he didnt understand

i guess im just way to lenient with things i should be mad at myself for having a blind eye to these things....
PreshusSmurf Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

Posted by luvabul

i should be mad at myself for having a blind eye to these things....


I really disagree with this last statement of yours .... this whole situation is HIS doing. I don't think you have any fault here.

You asked him to stop talking to her. He's your FH, you're supposed to be able to trust him. There's no reason you should have thought you couldn't trust him ....

luvabul Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

yeah i know what you mean, i asked him not, and he still did it anyway... i dont know what he thought that i wouldnt find out eventually? hes admitted what he did was wrong , apologized repeatedly, but still theres a lot more left that we need to talk about... i just need time to myself i told him

LyseeH Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

first here are some hugs!

This situation is so hard. If you knew the number you could look on the bill. I completely agree with you...he needs to understand that you will not be played a fool. I'm soo sorry that you have to go through that! I really hope you can work things out!
luvabul Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

He offered to tell me her # and show me his phone bill from the last 6 months... i didnt even say yes or no... i was still angry at that point ....

MF9282 Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

I wish I had some good word of advice =( All I have are good thoughts out to you. It seems a bit sketchy. Good luck,thinking of u !
billandme Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

I'm soooooo sorry your FH put you in this situation

I think I would do the same thing you're doing right now; taking time to yourself. You need to think about everything that has happened and figure out if you can continue with your relationship after what he has done.........and I couldn't even imagine being put in that position

What he did was wrong on MANY levels........

I hope things DO work out in the end and whatever decision you make I'm sure will be the right on for you.

If you need to talk, just FM me.........I'm here for you
Leslie143 Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

damn, well im sorry your in that possition. me and my FH went threw almost the same situation. he cheated on me a yr ago and left me for a week just to be with her. he slept with her and everything. i gave in an took him back later but i regretted taking him back cuz i thought he would do it again. but he has changed and it all worked out, and we had a beautiful baby together and now were getting married. i hope things work out. he needs to realise that you love him , and if he is about to marry you he needs to not have wondering eyes. has he ever cheated before in the past?

luvabul Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

nope never cheated before, havent come close or even caught him... im usually with him most weekends, during the weekdays he works and is going for his Masters... so hes busy too but im always in touch with him so ive never suspected anything reallly and his friends were a lil out there, but now both of them are married too
poogie Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

omg see this is when i loose all composure and being calm.....okay i always tell my friends that you never know what that man has told another woman.....all of a sudden your his cousin........its was like when you said go get her number for his brother his head lights went bling bling bling......did he ever even tell the brother about the gal or give the number......no matter.......like a few others said do a litte soul searching within yourself first and then have a conversation with him and let him know that these type of games are out and not only that there are many many more things that he could bring home to you besides a number......who knows who ........omg this annoys the freak out of me........no one can really tell you what to do but you must listen to your heart.............make a wise decision but let it be your decision

Dee606 Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. Whatever decision you make, make sure you are 100% sure of it.
good luck
PaddysGirl15 Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

Posted by cherilicious16

Oh my... I would be IRATE. I have a bad temper and wouldnt be able to hold in my anger.

Trust your gut. If you feel like he has been betraying you and this could extend into your marriage you have to TRUST YOUR GUT.


i would flip my lid.....
BlushingBride714 Posted:

Re: i think im just gona end all of this ...[very long post]

Posted by NinaChris07

why did he tell the girl you were his cousin?
thats would be the biggest issue for me, over hanging out, etc - that shows SERIOUS concealment...
did he tell you why he said you were his cousin?


This is what would bother me the most about the whole thing. Not only did FH lie to you and go behind your back but he completely denied your existence to her. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be harsh but you and FH need to sit down and have one he!! of a discussion! FM me if you need to talk, I've been through a similar situation with my ex. Stay strong sweetie - he needs to give you more than just meaningless words here. JMO.

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