I've officially gone off the deep end..............update

I've changed so much for this wedding, I've changed and cancelled and retooled almost everything to ensure that my parents were comfortable paying for things, and if we needed to cancel something, we did, I just acquiesed to what they wanted because all I wanted was them to be excited about the wedding. weve been fighting for days now about whos invited and this and that and today i was told that we'd have to change whos doing the cake because of the expense, the ONE thing I wanted, the ONE THING I DID NOT want to change is now in jeopardy and I'm at the point where I can't take anymore, I can't take this wedding, I can't take the fighting that comes along with it, I really just want to cancel everything and be done, I'm so upset, I left my parents to come to our apartment and dad basically told me not to come back, Im done, totally, completely and absolutely done, I don't want any of this anymore.......................

Re: I've officially gone off the deep end..............

Jenna, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I wish that I could offer up something to make it seem better, and I know that there's really nothing to say. I hope that this blows over for you and things will get better...it's almost June

Re: I've officially gone off the deep end..............

Im sorry to hear that ..did you ever think about just going away to maybe the caribeean and yall just get married there? Its not worth the aggravation.

Re: I've officially gone off the deep end..............

Omg Im so sorry you are going through this right now

Surely, your father didnt mean that... its just the stress talking. I hope that this will pass and things will get better.

Re: I've officially gone off the deep end..............

Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry!!! Praying !!!!! Mary MOB

Re: I've officially gone off the deep end..............

I'm so sorry you're going through such stress! Just remember, at the end of the day it's about you and FH and that you're starting the next phase of your lives together.

Everything will be ok.

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Can you pay for the things you want yourselves?

I am of the opinion that if someone is paying and the expense is too much for them - well, you have to accept that. It is a tough economy and your parents might be feeling it.

Our parents only did the very fab NYC shower (mine) and the rehearsal dinner (his). My mom and sister planned my shower. I can tell you that planning for the rehearsal dinner is hard b/c it is not our money but we are expected to plan it. I do not think I would have a wedding if I was not paying - it would just be too much stress and guilt for me. I would be grateful for the help you are given and accept that the funders have a budget. I know it is not ideal but you are a lot better off than a lot of girls on here.

Re: I've officially gone off the deep end..............

I think you need to try to relax, take a bath and go to bed early!!

Start fresh tomorrow.. sometimes it is just too much.

Re: I've officially gone off the deep end..............

Yeah sooo sorry you are going through this. . I do agree that if you can pay for the things you really want . maybe that would help. . if you really want the cake, make it happen. . I know that the heart of it, isnt about the cake, its about the relationships. . but maybe that would help .. and your family will come around. . . hope it gets better and vent here as much as you need. .

Re: I've officially gone off the deep end..............

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Posted by Kristina2009

Can you pay for the things you want yourselves?

I am of the opinion that if someone is paying and the expense is too much for them - well, you have to accept that. It is a tough economy and your parents might be feeling it.

Our parents only did the very fab NYC shower (mine) and the rehearsal dinner (his). My mom and sister planned my shower. I can tell you that planning for the rehearsal dinner in hard b/c it is not our money but we are expected to plan it. I do not think I would have a wedding if I was not paying - it would just be too much stress and guilt for me. I would be grateful for the help you are given and accept that the funders have a budget. I know it is not ideal but you are a lot better off than a lot of girls on here.

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I agree here...to help out and to show your parents that this is something you really want-Can you pay for the cake yourselves?
I def know how hard it is paying for a wedding! Fh and I are doing it alone and FH owns his own home and business which is suffering and we have had to do cut backs on things that I really wanted.
Tomorrow is a fresh day, fresh start...talk to your dad tomorrow. I really hope things get better. June is almost here!!

Re: I've officially gone off the deep end..............

I hear this is common among brides as the wedding gets closer. Try not to stress! Things will pan out, do your best to relax and things will go back to normal. Don't let the little things get you down

Re: I've officially gone off the deep end..............

I'm sorry Jenna.....

Re: I've officially gone off the deep end..............

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Posted by WishfulRinne

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Posted by Kristina2009

Can you pay for the things you want yourselves?

I am of the opinion that if someone is paying and the expense is too much for them - well, you have to accept that. It is a tough economy and your parents might be feeling it.

Our parents only did the very fab NYC shower (mine) and the rehearsal dinner (his). My mom and sister planned my shower. I can tell you that planning for the rehearsal dinner in hard b/c it is not our money but we are expected to plan it. I do not think I would have a wedding if I was not paying - it would just be too much stress and guilt for me. I would be grateful for the help you are given and accept that the funders have a budget. I know it is not ideal but you are a lot better off than a lot of girls on here.

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I agree here...to help out and to show your parents that this is something you really want-Can you pay for the cake yourselves?
I def know how hard it is paying for a wedding! Fh and I are doing it alone and FH owns his own home and business which is suffering and we have had to do cut backs on things that I really wanted.
Tomorrow is a fresh day, fresh start...talk to your dad tomorrow. I really hope things get better. June is almost here!!

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Completely, completely agree. I wish you the best and I pray that this blows over.....but the fact your parents are paying is something I could only dream of. Be grateful, take deep breaths......june is around the corner.

Re: I've officially gone off the deep end..............update

Thanks girls...its not really a question of paying for it, weve taken on so much that we thought we couldn't do and this was something that they wanted to do for us, and I know it sounds like I'm being bratty but to me it seems like all I've wanted through this whole process was for my parents not to cringe when I mention the wedding, I walk on egg shells around them and who could have predicted the economy would bottom out and all of these things would happen, but fh and I are trying our best to make it work, honestly it's not about just a cake, its just one more little thing thats pushed me to the point where fh and I just want to elope, all I hear about is how much money this is, how much money it's costing people, and I've done so much to ease the burden on my mom and dad and paid for things we never anticipated, it's not like I'm sitting here expecting everything to be paid for, but things would be easier if FMIL helped a LITTLE....but we all know that story.....its ultimately the fact that my own parents are basically dreading this wedding, all we do is fight, for as close as we always were, for as much as we're together, for as much as I love them and I know they love me, it's killing me that we're having so much trouble right now, so I make consessions, cancel this, cancel that, and it doesn't seem to be good enough, and that's why I just feel like, okay, cancel the wedding and I know we won't do that but I'm so sad and so depressed over this, it's supposed to be the happiest time of my life but I'm just so incredibly miserable