Ok I was not going to post this but just want to see what others would do.
Background info....so we dont have joint accts yet and I pay all my bills, and FH pays his, etc.
Ok so I had my bachelorette party last weekend and FH wanted to give me money for the trip and called me right after I left. This was very sweet of him and he said...'well you only live once!' I was only 1 block away but just didnt feel like turning around and I didnt really need the $$$.
So yesterday he gives me the $$$ and said to go shopping with it. But I feel so so so bad about taking it. I could use some new clothes but at the same time I have credit card debt and an auto loan (on a car I never drive anymore...trying to sell it) and well I just havent been able to save much for the wedding. So part of me wants to be greedy but the other half says NO...HE ALREADY DOES ENOUGH FOR YOU.
Ok thanks for listening. I probably wont take the $$$ after all but just needed to talk!
ttw910
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Re: If FH gives you $$$, do you take it?
Take the money and spend it before he wants it back!!!
ant n tilde
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Re: If FH gives you $$$, do you take it?
i totally appreciate being spoiled and i take money all the time. . . i have tried to pay it back but he gets REALLY mad at me when i do that
someone once said once we got married it wouldnt be as fun to take the money bc it would be our money BUT i find that i still appreciate it and love it!!
eta: i dont pay for anything if i am with him so its just an extension of that. we are old fashioned in many ways and it is his way of 'taking care' of me and i really love it!!
Jenn04
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Re: If FH gives you $$$, do you take it?
Awww you girls are so cute!
Now I am hoping that the money is still on the counter!! I WANT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GinaBambina08
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Re: If FH gives you $$$, do you take it?
If he offers it, TAKE IT TAKE IT TAKE IT! That's what FH's are for
No, but seriously, he obviously doesnt mind taking care of you...i'm sure it actually makes him feel good that he's able to...
lillprincess54
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Re: If FH gives you $$$, do you take it?
my hubby makes a ton more money then me, and he does a lot of side work and gets tons of bonus at work.
one day he gave me money from side work he did and said go treat yourself to something nice, ( that was like 5 yrs ago) ever since then everythime we does side work or get bonus money we also give me some.
at 1st i felt a little awkward, but now i think its sweet bc about 2 months ago i saw a purse that i loved but didnt have extra 150 to buy it last week he came home and said here why dont you get that purse you really want,
Wifeynella
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Re: If FH gives you $$$, do you take it?
FH wanted to do something nice so I'd take it in the manner it was offered.
my FH is fairly cheap. I love him, but he isn't as generous with his cash as I am. So if and when he offers I always gladly accept. I offer to repay most of the time and every so often he acts will take the $ back lmaooo
jaep129
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Re: If FH gives you $$$, do you take it?
I would take it. Would he take $ from you? If he is offering then that means he can and wants to you. You deserve it!!!
LuvMyAlfonse
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Re: If FH gives you $$$, do you take it?
No - as I was once in debt myself - never. I made that bed, I had to lie in it.
It's all good now. If I wanted to 'buy myself something nice' and didn't have the money - hell no I wouldn't take his money - that's how I ended up in debt!!!! Buying stuff with money I didn't have!!!
ant n tilde
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Re: If FH gives you $$$, do you take it?
Posted by LuvMyAlfonse
No - as I was once in debt myself - never. I made that bed, I had to lie in it.
It's all good now. If I wanted to 'buy myself something nice' and didn't have the money - hell no I wouldn't take his money - that's how I ended up in debt!!!! Buying stuff with money I didn't have!!!
but would you really have to pay back your own FH/DH?
FutureMrsPD
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Re: If FH gives you $$$, do you take it?
hey, when FH offers me money, I take it and dont even try and fight him about it. I make good money, but he makes more. So sometimes he likes to give me money to go shopping and he LOVES it. I guess it makes him feel good. I also buy him things when I'm out shopping or I give him $ when he doesnt feel like goin to the ATM.
Lil83108
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Re: If FH gives you $$$, do you take it?
***TAKE THE MONEY****
BUTTT--Don't spend it on clothes--put it in the bank for both of you guys. Pay your expenses right now with your own money, but if he has extra money that he can afford to give you than open up a joint bank account and put that money in there. You will then have money set aside for when payments need to be made for the wedding.
LuvMyAlfonse
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Re: If FH gives you $$$, do you take it?
Posted by ant n tilde
but would you really have to pay back your own FH/DH?
what?
That wasn't the question, was it?
eta: For the record - no, I wouldn't have to pay him back - we have joint accounts.... Our money is our money... There's no tit for tat.
ant n tilde
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Re: If FH gives you $$$, do you take it?
Posted by LuvMyAlfonse
Posted by ant n tilde
but would you really have to pay back your own FH/DH?
what?
That wasn't the question, was it?
well you said you wouldnt take it bc you dont want to get into debt but if you dont have to pay it back then you wouldnt be in debt. . .its a gift not a loan
unless i am misunderstanding EVERYTHING which has happened before LOL
eta: just saw your response i hope you didnt feel that i put you on the spot i was just curious about how you answered the question
Belongs2DanBuckley
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Re: If FH gives you $$$, do you take it?
LOL I'd take it and run away!!! There's plenty of times I've given him money too....
Kerin2804
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Re: If FH gives you $$$, do you take it?
You will be sharing everything shortly...excesses and debts. Go shopping.
LuvMyAlfonse
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Re: If FH gives you $$$, do you take it?
Posted by ant n tilde
well you said you wouldnt take it bc you dont want to get into debt but if you dont have to pay it back then you wouldnt be in debt. . .its a gift not a loan
unless i am misunderstanding EVERYTHING which has happened before LOL
eta: just saw your response i hope you didnt feel that i put you on the spot i was just curious about how you answered the question
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah - I see... It does sound like I said that. I just wouldn't take money for frivolous stuff. Although I wish I would - so many of my friends got money from their man to get nails done and other things!! I just can't do it!!!
ant n tilde
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Re: If FH gives you $$$, do you take it?
Posted by LuvMyAlfonse
Posted by ant n tilde
well you said you wouldnt take it bc you dont want to get into debt but if you dont have to pay it back then you wouldnt be in debt. . .its a gift not a loan
unless i am misunderstanding EVERYTHING which has happened before LOL
eta: just saw your response i hope you didnt feel that i put you on the spot i was just curious about how you answered the question
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah - I see... It does sound like I said that. I just wouldn't take money for frivolous stuff. Although I wish I would - so many of my friends got money from their man to get nails done and other things!! I just can't do it!!!
oooooooh i understand now!!!! ok got ya!
Butterfly123
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Re: If FH gives you $$$, do you take it?
In the beginning of the relationship I would take it. I would never ask for it. But there were definitely times where I could give him money too so it evened out. But weve had the same bank account for over 4 years now.
SoonToBeMrsScott
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Re: If FH gives you $$$, do you take it?
Take the money and say thank you and enjoy
Espo22
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Re: If FH gives you $$$, do you take it?
if he is offering then means my fh has the money to do so at the moment and i'll take it and here is why bc i do the same thing for him. Theres been times i went shopping with him and something he wanted but didnt have at the moment and i bought it for him. Theres been times i paid tons of things at once and needed some money for a short period of time and he'll be the one who offers, when he has been the one in that situation i give it to him. When ive gone shopping same thing he'll say here i'll get it for you...We both do it for eachother so its alot of give and take
if it was very one sided then i'd probably feel differently.
