Brides Helping Brides ™ - If FH's parents arent paying??

Tromsugar2b Posted: Feb 25, 2010 01:13 PM

If FH's parents arent paying??

are you including them in the limo? my parents are paying for more than half the wedding so I feel its necessary that they have some nice transportation but I want other ladies opinions on what your doing with FH's parents? I kinda feel like if you haven't paid you shouldn't be treated as a planner like my parents are throwing this wedding in a sense and FH's are just guests?? Whats your opinionss...?

EDit: Just wanted to add that i guess my situation sounds pretty normal from my question but now that many of you replied, i realize its quite different, in my case its not even really about the money, thats kind of the icing on the cake. Thanks for your responses!!

IrinaBNY Posted: Feb 25, 2010 01:20 PM

Re: If FH's parents arent paying??

My parents are paying for most of our wedding and his parents are giving us a very small portion.. HOWEVER.. they're not doing it out of spite or anything, they just can't do it financially.. and because of that, there is no way that we would EVER treat them any different. They're going to be your in-laws for the rest of your life.. so treat them with some respect (unless they don't show you any), and get them a limo as well.

saralee1978 Posted: Feb 25, 2010 01:20 PM

Re: If FH's parents arent paying??

I want my FH parent's to be responsible for their transportation, or at least contribute in some way, since FH has already told me that he plans on having something like 20 out of town relatives staying at his parent's house the night of the wedding!!!

My mother doesn't want to step on anyone's toes or offend anyone. She feels that when the limo comes for the bridal party, that his family will expect a limo to be there for them as well (where she got this idea, I have no clue!). She has already told me that she will pay for their limo since she wants a limo for her, my father, my brother, and perhaps my grandfather and his wife and she doesn't want FH's family to feel left out.

Nothing has been discussed with FH's family about limo plans. I've thought about just getting a huge party bus and have it come to my house, get my girls, then go to his house, get his guys and family, and then drop everyone off at reception, and then get a limo (because most of bridal party won't need a ride back) to drop family off at his parent's house and my parent's. And for once, FH agreed with me on this idea of a party bus for everyone.

So far limos have been the worst for me planning wise.

Future Mrs H Posted: Feb 25, 2010 01:21 PM

Re: If FH's parents arent paying??

my parents arent paying but they will be going with me in the limo to the church- but thats it- they will get a ride from church to RH

edit to add FH mom- i am having a town car pick her up to bring her to the church - she is only 1 1/2 blocks from the chuch so I am not gettin a limo

catemac23 Posted: Feb 25, 2010 01:37 PM

Re: If FH's parents arent paying??

I am in a very similar situation, where my parents are paying more than half, and FH and I are paying way more than his parents even. It's hard to not feel like they should pay for their own limo, especially if they have the money (which is our situation, they just are only contributing a flat, minimal portion.) I guess it's debate-able. You know them best, you don't want to get anyone mad, but you shouldn't have to bend over backwards if they're not either...

VallieGirl Posted: Feb 25, 2010 01:51 PM

Re: If FH's parents arent paying??

Posted by IrinaBNY

My parents are paying for most of our wedding and his parents are giving us a very small portion.. HOWEVER.. they're not doing it out of spite or anything, they just can't do it financially.. and because of that, there is no way that we would EVER treat them any different. They're going to be your in-laws for the rest of your life.. so treat them with some respect (unless they don't show you any), and get them a limo as well.

ITA with this. If you can afford it I think it would be really nice to provide that transportation. They aren't just guests since they are your FH's parents.

PS Ya never know...you may get a big chunk of $ as a wedding gift!

DaniandKen2010 Posted: Feb 25, 2010 02:22 PM

Re: If FH's parents arent paying??

I dont want any drama on my big day so I am just adding them in with the bridal party.

StellaStar13 Posted: Feb 25, 2010 02:23 PM

Re: If FH's parents arent paying??

my parents are paying for everything and I am just getting a party bus for the bridal party and their significant others and a limo to take my parents & i to the church. then my parents will take that limo home.

Jna2010 Posted: Feb 25, 2010 02:24 PM

Re: If FH's parents arent paying??

Posted by IrinaBNY

My parents are paying for most of our wedding and his parents are giving us a very small portion.. HOWEVER.. they're not doing it out of spite or anything, they just can't do it financially.. and because of that, there is no way that we would EVER treat them any different. They're going to be your in-laws for the rest of your life.. so treat them with some respect (unless they don't show you any), and get them a limo as well.

completely agree

2BMrsB Posted: Feb 25, 2010 02:27 PM

Re: If FH's parents arent paying??

Im looking for a limo bus too for the same reason!
They are a PITA to find and SOO $$$

Debrian2009 Posted: Feb 25, 2010 02:31 PM

Re: If FH's parents arent paying??

DH's parents didn't help us out with the wedding although we got a VERY generous gift from FIL and NOTHING from MIL.

With that said, I would never NOT think of providing them transportation to the wedding. They are DH's parents.

I did not like the fact that MIL insisted she get picked up at her apt. Our plan was to have everyone meet at our hotel and start the limos from there. Plus, DH was going to do most of his family pictures at that time. Needless to say, that didn't happen. I arranged for her to get picked up at her apt and they went straight to church.

We did not provide transportation home for them. MIL went home with a friend (she left early) and FIL went home with his significant other. I only provided transportation for my parents and my bridal party and DH and I back to the hotel.

MikesBride2B Posted: Feb 25, 2010 02:37 PM

Re: If FH's parents arent paying??

We're not getting limos...just shuttles for everyone (including FH and I and the BP) so they'll take the shuttle with everyone else...unless they want to find their own way there, in which case they can kiss my azzzz

AdriandSteve Posted: Feb 25, 2010 03:27 PM

Re: If FH's parents arent paying??

FH's mom is going in the limo but she's not helping financially.

BriansWifey Posted: Feb 25, 2010 03:28 PM

Re: If FH's parents arent paying??

i think whether or not they pay or how much they pay they should all be included equally. they're still ur and fh's parents....... jmo.
all our parents will be in the limo.

FutureMrsLots Posted: Feb 25, 2010 04:07 PM

Re: If FH's parents arent paying??

My parents are paying for everything FH's mom doesn't have the funds to contribute. She'sa bout 40 minutes from teh church and like 10 from the RH. I plan on getting her some form of transportation. If she is with FH the day of while he is getting ready then she can go in the limo and then I'll figures osemthing out to get her back home and then to the RH. I don't want her to feel like an outcast because she can't afford it (i'm sure she already does).

ooxrosaliexoo Posted: Feb 25, 2010 04:09 PM

Re: If FH's parents arent paying??

my FH parents are barely even involved in his life let alone giving us a dime, but i am including them in everything because it is important to him to maintain some sort of relationship with them, even though i disagree its all about comprimise right?

jmgoncal Posted: Feb 25, 2010 05:00 PM

Re: If FH's parents arent paying??

Posted by IrinaBNY

My parents are paying for most of our wedding and his parents are giving us a very small portion.. HOWEVER.. they're not doing it out of spite or anything, they just can't do it financially.. and because of that, there is no way that we would EVER treat them any different. They're going to be your in-laws for the rest of your life.. so treat them with some respect (unless they don't show you any), and get them a limo as well.

Agreed. FH and I are paying for 70% of the wedding ourselves but after that my parents are contributing far more than his - but I would never treat his parents differently because of it. All parents - and grandparents - are in a limo.

Kristan35 Posted: Feb 25, 2010 05:17 PM

Re: If FH's parents arent paying??

I'm in a different situation. FH's parents are basically paying for the wedding. My mother bought by dress and is also doing what she can but she's just not in the position to help with the big money. I could never imagine not having my mother in the limo because of that and I'm sure my FH would feel the same way about his parents if the situation was reversed. Unless your FIL's are complete witches, I would feel that leaving them out is disrespectful.

whispersamethyst Posted: Feb 25, 2010 05:43 PM

Re: If FH's parents arent paying??

Posted by Kristan35

I'm in a different situation. FH's parents are basically paying for the wedding. My mother bought by dress and is also doing what she can but she's just not in the position to help with the big money. I could never imagine not having my mother in the limo because of that and I'm sure my FH would feel the same way about his parents if the situation was reversed. Unless your FIL's are complete witches, I would feel that leaving them out is disrespectful.

ITA. I'm in a similar situation where my parents can't afford to help us out at all. FH's mom is going to pay for one of the vendors, and the rest is up to us. We would never leave any of our parents out of the limo because they cannot afford to help us pay for it. Afterall, it was OUR decision to have a formal wedding to begin with. These are our parents, they spent the better part of our lives clothing us, feeding us, putting us through school etc. The least you can do is show them respect and allow them some form of transportation on your wedding day.