IF I COULD CALL OFF THIS WEDDING RIGHT NOW, I WOULD.
Original post by Suzanner
I'm losing it. I'm fighting with my family and my FH almost constantly about having kids at my wedding.
If I say I don't want them, then what's the issue?? I'M THE ONE PLANNING THE ENTIRE THING. I'M THE ONE HAVING THE NIGHTMARES. I'M THE ONE DRIVING TO ALL ENDS OF LONG ISLAND CONSTANTLY. NO ONE ELSE HAS DONE A DAMN THING, AND I HAVEN'T ASKED THEM TO.
SO WHY ARE THEY TRYING TO DICTATE THE GUEST LIST?? SO YOU DO THE REST OF IT!
I'm telling you, I hate to regress to teen spite here, but if I could get my deposits back, I would cancel this thing RIGHT NOW.
I just had to sit through Christmas at my FSIL's house and listen to her tell stories about how her 5 year old son runs up onto the altar at church and makes a scene EVERY TIME they go. And FH is INSISTING that this kid and his two brothers be there. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE these kids. They are awesome. Do I think they belong at a formal evening wedding? No.
My brother's kid is 2. 2!!!! WHY DOES SHE NEED TO BE THERE??? SHE WON'T EVEN REMEMBER BEING THERE. Why in God's Name are my parents insisting she be there to keep the family peace???
WHY am I being forced to invite my BROTHER'S IN LAWS??? Am I totally wrong on this, because I could be, but is this ridiculous??? My parents were invited to their daughters wedding (FSIL's sister) in California. CALIFORNIA. I mean, why?? It's not like we're close to their family.
Now, my mom lives under the rule 'sometimes you just have to do what you have to do tokeep the peace'. Of course, that means to keep the peace with everyone besides me. Because if I'M mad, it's okay, but GOD FORBID anyone else should be mad. And just because she lives like that, I should?? I don't, and it pisses her off. So is she digging in her heels to spite me?? It's possible.
So sorry for yelling- I can't fight over this for ONE MORE DAY. I have been the complete opposite of a bridezilla- wear whatever you want, invite whoever you want, etc. But it stops at kids and the brother's in-laws.
I'm telling you, if I hear ONE KID while I'm taking my vows, IT'S OVER. And I know it sounds juvenile, but I'm telling you, I will rage, and it will ruin my entire day. I just can't get over this. I get ONE DAY, and I'm not asking for anything except no kids. I don't see what's so demanding about that. I'm so furious, I can't see straight.
Thanks for listening, sorry for yelling. And the thing is, I feel HORRIBLE about this. I know it's so stupid, who cares, just have the kids and let everyone be happy. But at what point to you stop just giving in so everyone else will be happy?? I'm just so over this crap.
Okay. Bring on the carbs.
Mrs. Bernabe
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Re: IF I COULD CALL OFF THIS WEDDING RIGHT NOW, I WOULD.
I didn't want any kids at my wedding, BUT DH has 2 kids from his 1st relationship and he wanted them there....so then I had to open up the place for his 2 nieces. His sons were running through the whole reception...his mom/sister were suppose to be watching them....did they, no, they let them run run run, the small one almost knocked down some candles, but DH always misses these moments. Anyways, beside me noticing those occasion I had a great time cause it was my day. Now if your FH has no kids, then there should be no KIDS!!!!!!! I don't agree on kids being at the reception period. That is an adult affair. I understand the whole peace thing, but if your unhappy then your FH should understand. My MIL wanted my DH son to be the ring bearer at first I nodded to keep the peace, but why should I keep the peace when I never wanted any kids to be in the BP. It's was my wedding. I was marrying my DH, he wanted his kids at the reception fine, but I was not going to have them be part of the bridal party when I never envisioned it in the 1st place. Anyways, speak to your FH and let him know how you feel. Maybe you guys can come to an understanding. Maybe no kids at church and maybe you can have someone sit in in the kids table and pay them to watch and control them. Maybe plan coloring activities or something like that. GL!!!!
dedecakes
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Re: IF I COULD CALL OFF THIS WEDDING RIGHT NOW, I WOULD.
I have the same problem. What's worse...I am an elementary teacher!!!! So, I feel even more terrible for saying no kids. On one hand, it would be cute to have a flower girl and ring bearers...but on the other hand, they are going to cause everyone to leave early because they will get cranky and tired.
littlepixie12
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Re: IF I COULD CALL OFF THIS WEDDING RIGHT NOW, I WOULD.
Just keep your head up!!! Its your wedding.. dont let anyone bully you!
Utterhappiness
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Re: IF I COULD CALL OFF THIS WEDDING RIGHT NOW, I WOULD.
Im on your side 100%... but no carbs! You are doing sooo great.. stick to the sausage or switch it up to hot dogs!!!
Sorry just trying to lighten the mood... you are fully right in this. I think you should try to explain in calmly to your mom and if this is something that you feel strongly about, then YOU shoudl get your way on YOUR wedding day!
KittyGags
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Re: IF I COULD CALL OFF THIS WEDDING RIGHT NOW, I WOULD.
Posted by Suzanner
You guys are the best. I really appreciate everything. Mdawg, I really think your compromise sounds wise. I'm going to try that one out. Maybe it will work, if it comes to that. Seems pretty okay. On the in-law front, it's my brother's wife's PARENTS that are in question. It just seems wierd to invite my brother's wife's parents to the wedding. We can barely be in the same room without things getting tense. Why? Because her dad is a born-again fatty. Sort of like a born-again smoker- they love to tell you how you need to quit and how they did it. Well, this guy lost a few pounds, and every time I see him, he loves to give me the lecture. Due to personal standards of decorum, I resist the temptation to forcefully introduce my foot to his balls. But I'd like to.
Wait wait wait. They want you to invite someone that tells you 'you have to lose weight???' (which btw sounds like my future uncle, hahah, he quit smoking so now EVERYONE else should, even though he smoked for 40 years)
