If someone '& Guested' You...

KittyGags Posted: Sep 23, 2008 03:55 PM

If someone '& Guested' You...

Question--

I recently went to an event where I was put on the placecard as 'FH's Name & Guest.' Granted, we weren't engaged when we went to this said event, but we were together for over 3 years, so it wasn't like 'who is he bringing?'

Is it rude if I '& Guest' said person at my wedding (even though they are married), because I would really love to, just so she can see how RUDE it is...or am I just being a spiteful brat? haha

PrincessBride09 Posted: Sep 23, 2008 03:59 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

Though I would probably be offended if this happened to me, I would take the high road...especially since they are already married. You don't want this to turn into some other drama you have to deal with while planning your wedding!

angels914 Posted: Sep 23, 2008 04:01 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

No matter how rude they are .... don't be spiteful !!!!!! you be the better person !!!!!!!!!!!

Future Mulligan Posted: Sep 23, 2008 04:03 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

I wouldn't take it personally....maybe they didn't know your last name and just figured it was easier to do and guest? KWIM?

KittyGags Posted: Sep 23, 2008 04:05 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

Posted by Future Mulligan

I wouldn't take it personally....maybe they didn't know your last name and just figured it was easier to do and guest? KWIM?

Its funny though, that they knew my last name to invite me to other events, which is why I think it was intentional...

BeLissa Posted: Sep 23, 2008 04:08 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

you obv know my take on this since we just discussed it lol......

but i would love to 'and guest' the ppl that invited me to their wedding with FH last month after we were already engaged, after we sent them a save the date with my name on it, and after i responded to my 'and guested' invite with my NAME on the response card and i STILL got and guested on the place card!!!! to me, that was so effing rude. FH thinks i am being ridiculous, but i think its just a lack of common ettiquette on their behalf.

dana1206 Posted: Sep 23, 2008 04:08 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

This happened to me and my FH and also another couple at a wedding we went to recently. We were the only two couples out of 'our group' that aren't married. The other woman who was '& guested' and I joke about it all the time, but I honestly don't even think if I did it back that they'd have a clue about why I was doing it, so I would say that it's not worth it to do it back.

BeLissa Posted: Sep 23, 2008 04:11 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

Posted by KittyGags

Posted by Future Mulligan

I wouldn't take it personally....maybe they didn't know your last name and just figured it was easier to do and guest? KWIM?

Its funny though, that they knew my last name to invite me to other events, which is why I think it was intentional...

regardless - how about putting in the effort of asking???

Future Mulligan Posted: Sep 23, 2008 04:18 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

Posted by BeLissa

Posted by KittyGags

Posted by Future Mulligan

I wouldn't take it personally....maybe they didn't know your last name and just figured it was easier to do and guest? KWIM?

Its funny though, that they knew my last name to invite me to other events, which is why I think it was intentional...

regardless - how about putting in the effort of asking???

well i am guilty of 'guesting' people - FH and I asked all of our close friends for the spelling of the last names of their girlfriends/boyfriends - but there were some guys we are inviting from my FH's work that we invited with guest but we didn't ask for the spelling of their girlfriends name - but thats because my FH never met their girlfriends before - he knows that they have girlfriends, but doesnt know any more than that - so we just did those people with 'and guest' - i dont think someone you never met before could be insulted? none of them are engaged or married so i dont see it as a big deal....if they respond yes to the wedding and write both full names on the response card then that is how their place card will be addressed. if they respond for 2 but only write one name then their place card will say 'and guest'....

i think its only wrong if you actually met the person and know them, otherwise i dont think its such a big deal to be just the guest, especially if you dont live with your significant other

bluegreen08 Posted: Sep 23, 2008 04:21 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

we didnt & guest anyone... we invited people with a date if they were seeing someone, and then their SO was invited by name. if we didnt know, we asked.

i'd be pissed if i was invited as DH and guest. the only time either one of us has been invited 'and guest' is to school or work related functions where we're addressed generally as a group and told we can rsvp with a guest if we'd like (and in that case, they always ask for the guest's name, so the placecard or list can have them by name)

JJC Posted: Sep 23, 2008 04:21 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

nah..dont do it..take the high road. i took the time to find out all the names of significant others that were 'dating..engaged..blah blah' and thats the right thing to do. i made Fh ask his work friends what their live in gf names were too....

kat124 Posted: Sep 23, 2008 04:22 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

I've 'and guested' people...not because of spite, or on purpose, but sometimes last minute changes or other issues come up and you end up doing it without meaning to....however if this is someone you know for a while and they know you are his 'and guest' then perhaps there is more to it...

Espo22 Posted: Sep 23, 2008 04:23 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

i made sure dh called his friends to find out gf's last names. I sat next to him and had to tell him to do it right then and there bc i knew he'd forget. The only time an invite was addressed and guest is if the person was single and had no SO.

For placecards i didnt put and guest bc the names were written on placecard, plus most of our single friends came alone anyways.

i say just be the bigger person and put her name

JoesFutureWife Posted: Sep 23, 2008 04:25 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

idk why but the and guest doesnt bother me. When DH and i were engaged we were invited to a wedding and i was the 'and guest' and they know both my first and last name. It really didnt cross my mind to be offended. I guess my take is the wedding is about the bride and the groom. Dont waste time worrying about them and what they wrote during your wedding planning. Sounds silly but dont sweat the small stuff...life is too short.

ETA: We did add first and last names on our votive placecards for the guest...even for DH's aunt's BF when MIL HEAVILY INSISTED that we put his name even though they were dating for a whopping week.

Annoulak Posted: Sep 23, 2008 04:26 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

A month ago my own cousin wrote 'My name & Guest' on her daughter's sweet sixteen invite, even though I'm getting married in less than 2 months and she's known FH for longer than I have!

It's offensive, but you shouldn't do the same to the other person, sorry.

Kricket212 Posted: Sep 23, 2008 04:30 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

It just happened to me......I was invited to a wedding & the card said and Guest. We were engaged & also dating for 4 years. I was just at the girls shower the prior month. Whats up with that?

JenBill61210 Posted: Sep 23, 2008 04:31 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

If it was someone i knew personally i guess i would think its a little rude but other than that it wouldn't really be a big deal to me. Maybe its just me.

MayWeddingGrl Posted: Sep 23, 2008 04:34 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

I can totally relate. I was pretty annoyed when we recently received a wedding invitation addressed to us as to 'Mr. Eric and Guest'.

I wasn't as annoyed by the '& Guest' as I was about the fact that they didnt even write our last names, especially since we invited them to our wedding and they attended also!

We made it a point to write back on the card both of our Full Names.

Maybe its just me, since I'm really into details. If you are spending so much time and money on your wedding and are inviting people that you know, wouldn't you want to make a point to be able to address everyone properly. oh well.