If someone '& Guested' You...

Original post by KittyGags

Sep 23, 2008 03:55 PM

Question--

I recently went to an event where I was put on the placecard as 'FH's Name & Guest.' Granted, we weren't engaged when we went to this said event, but we were together for over 3 years, so it wasn't like 'who is he bringing?'

Is it rude if I '& Guest' said person at my wedding (even though they are married), because I would really love to, just so she can see how RUDE it is...or am I just being a spiteful brat? haha

BeLissa Posted: Sep 23, 2008 04:41 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

Posted by Kricket212

It just happened to me......I was invited to a wedding & the card said and Guest. We were engaged & also dating for 4 years. I was just at the girls shower the prior month. Whats up with that?

sure, she figured your name out for the shower.....

ahem - kat

sophisticat13 Posted: Sep 23, 2008 05:24 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

I would be upset also but I wouldn't make a war out of it... It's even more disrespectful if you do that to a married couple...it will only make you look bad IMHO. I agree with the other posters here, be the better person and invite them as Mr. and Mrs....there are many more things to get stressed over than this one.

mrsjpc3 Posted: Sep 23, 2008 05:30 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

I would totally ' & Guest her'...

mosh424 Posted: Sep 23, 2008 06:38 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

Posted by PrincessBride09

Though I would probably be offended if this happened to me, I would take the high road...especially since they are already married. You don't want this to turn into some other drama you have to deal with while planning your wedding!

Totally Agree!! Even tyho they did a nasty thing to you

FloridaGal Posted: Sep 23, 2008 07:34 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

Uh oh- I thought you were supposed & Guest all those who weren't married or engaged, per etiquette. I just sent out a bunch of & Guests on my STDS. Whoops!

SummerBride10 Posted: Sep 23, 2008 07:52 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

As tempting as it is to be spiteful, I think you should be the bigger person and write their name.

KittyGags Posted: Sep 23, 2008 08:14 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

Posted by FloridaGal

Uh oh- I thought you were supposed & Guest all those who weren't married or engaged, per etiquette. I just sent out a bunch of & Guests on my STDS. Whoops!

Let me also just say that I would never be offended by this if it was someone I didn't know well, or if I actually just was his 'guest' and not his long term serious gf (and now fiancee!). I think its fine as long as the couple aren't 'serious' and then I guess its, you be the judge of 'serious.'

I say a year or longer relationship warrants digging up a person's name, but maybe its because I don't like being called 'guest!'

Also, I kinda knew what everyone's answer here was going to be --'to do the right thing,' which I was likely gonna do anyway, it just makes me MAD!

KimiDanny1010 Posted: Sep 23, 2008 08:21 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

i understand why you are pissed ..but i would definitely take the high road

Autumnbride03 Posted: Sep 23, 2008 08:35 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

don't feel bad- i wasn't invited to a VERYYY good friend of FH's family's daughter's wedding. I had been with FH was 3 years, we hung out many many times and it was 3 months before FH proposed. FH's entire family was pissed off.

But I am inviting both the girl and her husband. Take the high road. Some people just follow the rules strictly and write 'and guest' to anyone who isn't married. Hey, at least you were invited!!

BlondieBride Posted: Sep 23, 2008 09:07 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

I'm spiteful so I would '& guest' her. We went to a wedding last month where the placecard said Ms. insert my name & guest, even though I clearly wrote FH's name on the rsvp. That really annoyed me b/c they obviously had his name and we were engaged so it's not like I was going to change my mind about who I was going to bring.

Mrs Hunter Posted: Mar 06, 2012 09:22 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

That's what I thought too! But I haven't sent tem out yet. I have been & guested and so has my fh to multiple wedding and I never thought anything of it do I didn't think twice
For ours! I'm glad I saw this post.

I have a question... Might sound really bad. I know some people I am inviting are on and off all the time with their girlfriends. I would love to have them at the wedding If they are dating at the time.

My question is do I put there name on the invitation instead of and guest? I feel weird placing the name on an invitation if I'm not positive they will be together.

For example one of the people were dating a girl for a while they broke up and he was dating someone else and bringing her out regularly and to parties. The other two are now on again. This happens regularly... How do you account for couples like that?? While trying not to offend anyone.

Im happy I saw this post before I sent out my invites but it actually causes me more Of an annoyance in order to figure out this stuff that i want little invovement in. when before I would have happily sent out invites and unknowingly have people be angry at me.

fdnybride163 Posted: Mar 07, 2012 08:53 AM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

dont know if you noticed, but this thread is over 4 years old... most of these girls are long gone...

Kristin31613 Posted: Mar 07, 2012 09:44 AM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

Posted by KittyGags

Question--

I recently went to an event where I was put on the placecard as 'FH's Name & Guest.' Granted, we weren't engaged when we went to this said event, but we were together for over 3 years, so it wasn't like 'who is he bringing?'

Is it rude if I '& Guest' said person at my wedding (even though they are married), because I would really love to, just so she can see how RUDE it is...or am I just being a spiteful brat? haha

Honestly sometimes people do that bc they don't know your situation. For all they know you could have broken up etc. I have been with FH for 3 years and still get that. Most people don't change it until you are officially married. Worry about other things and let this one slide!

jojo07135 Posted: Mar 07, 2012 10:02 AM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

Though that is wrong and annoying, I would definately take the higher road!

futuremorasse Posted: Mar 07, 2012 10:07 AM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

I would absolutely be pissed if someone did this to me, but I wouldn't do it back. Take the high road and to not create any drama at the wedding.

chilly313 Posted: Mar 07, 2012 10:29 AM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

Posted by Mrs Hunter

That's what I thought too! But I haven't sent tem out yet. I have been & guested and so has my fh to multiple wedding and I never thought anything of it do I didn't think twice
For ours! I'm glad I saw this post.

I have a question... Might sound really bad. I know some people I am inviting are on and off all the time with their girlfriends. I would love to have them at the wedding If they are dating at the time.

My question is do I put there name on the invitation instead of and guest? I feel weird placing the name on an invitation if I'm not positive they will be together.

For example one of the people were dating a girl for a while they broke up and he was dating someone else and bringing her out regularly and to parties. The other two are now on again. This happens regularly... How do you account for couples like that?? While trying not to offend anyone.

Im happy I saw this post before I sent out my invites but it actually causes me more Of an annoyance in order to figure out this stuff that i want little invovement in. when before I would have happily sent out invites and unknowingly have people be angry at me.

I would put both names of the couple if you want to make sure only those 2 people come to the wedding. We weren't inviting people with guests if they weren't in a serious relationship,(didn't want a bunch of random people we didn't know at the wedding) so for couples who were not married or engaged, we put each of their names on the envelope, or just sent each one of them a separate invitation (depending on their living situation). If you put '& guest' it lets the person you're inviting decide who to bring with them. But I do also think its much nicer to acknowledge the SO by name when the couple are in a long term serious relationship. For the on again off again couples, I think its fine to invite the person you want to be there with a 'guest' and let them figure out who to bring.

Soon2Bee Posted: Mar 07, 2012 01:12 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

Ehhhhhh I say do it! 'and guest' to your hearts content!!!!!!!!!! If they do it to you chances are they wont be offended because they may not see it as a slighting...but atleast you feel better and it's your wedding!

teacherteacher Posted: Mar 07, 2012 03:26 PM

Re: If someone '& Guested' You...

I went with a friend to another mutual friend's wedding - my escort card had 'Friend's Guest' and when I made fun of work-friend for not knowing my name (we went to college together) he explained most of the people with +1s were done that way just in case. So, if you invited Me and FH was my guest, and I replied for 2, if something happened where FH couldn't come & another person stepped in as my date, they wouldn't have to take the completely wrong name.