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if you decline a shower, do you give a gift?

Lisalana Posted:

if you decline a shower, do you give a gift?

i'm asking this question because i always send a gift if i'm invited to a shower and can't attend. however, 16 people declined my shower and didn't give gifts. 2 of those people were girls that i had sent gifts too, even though i couldn't attend their showers.

i know this sounds petty, but it's been bothering me, so wanted to get a sense of what everyone else does.

StaceyWill Posted:

Re: if you decline a shower, do you give a gift?

I still send a gift even when I don't attend

AngnShaun Posted:

Re: if you decline a shower, do you give a gift?

ive never sent a gift if i wasnt attending...

jhines4684 Posted:

Re: if you decline a shower, do you give a gift?

Yes, i did it once and i sent something small to wherever the address was on there registry.

AwaitingAugust Posted:

Re: if you decline a shower, do you give a gift?

gotta be honest ... in the past, i wouldn't really give gifts if i couldn't make an event (shower / engagement party / wedding / etc) ...

BUT now that i've had all these parties myself, I can say that i'll def be sending gifts regardless of whether i go to other peoples' events or not.

ETA: but it would be something on the smaller side, most likely ....
JLWSJC Posted:

Re: if you decline a shower, do you give a gift?

I've never been in this position, but I think if I had to decline it wouldn't have occurred to me to send a gift in my place... unless it was someone really close to me.

Lisalana Posted:

Re: if you decline a shower, do you give a gift?

Posted by AwaitingAugust

gotta be honest ... in the past, i wouldn't really give gifts if i couldn't make an event (shower / engagement party / wedding / etc) ...

BUT now that i've had all these parties myself, I can say that i'll def be sending gifts regardless of whether i go to other peoples' events or not.

ETA: but it would be something on the smaller side, most likely ....



Guess that's true - my opinions on things pre wedding planning have def changed through this process!
ourwedding9510 Posted:

Re: if you decline a shower, do you give a gift?

I ALWAYS send a gift! But with weddings it's the same thing and I have so many no's and surprisingly only ONE couple sent us a gift!

Rosalind_75 Posted:

Re: if you decline a shower, do you give a gift?

if i cant make it i will either send a gfit with another person or wait till after the shower to mail them a gift.

if i dont know the person very well and i feel that i was invited just for a gift i dont send anything

very few who couldnt come to mine didnt send a gift

come to thing of it, it was my family who didnt send shiit. fcukin cheaposssssssssss

shelbylove918 Posted:

Re: if you decline a shower, do you give a gift?

most the people who couldnt come to my shower sent a gift.. I feel its the right thing to do especially if your close to them.. If your not close to them then its not that big of a deal

futureMrsJSL Posted:

Re: if you decline a shower, do you give a gift?

When I decline a shower or a wedding I usually still send a gift.

JayBee216 Posted:

Re: if you decline a shower, do you give a gift?

I always send a gift!!!!

One of my friends is having her shower on the same day and it was a surprise, so I'm going to send it afterwards so she's not like 'why am I getting this present all of a sudden?'

mrsdraskin2009 Posted:

Re: if you decline a shower, do you give a gift?

I do

win01 Posted:

Re: if you decline a shower, do you give a gift?

I never send anything if I don't go to a shower. If it were my family or really good friend I would be at the shower.. For babyshowers, I send a gift over after the birth if I can't make a shower.. I had people tell me that they expected something when they sent wedding invites and people didn't come...I was very surprised by that as I don't think it should be an obligation, but something they want to do.. I had a person in the office demand a gift even though I didn't go, rsvp'd no, and make 1/4 of her salary.... (and I was single..) she went hog wild on her wedding and I knew I couldn't afford to go and wanted a gift from me anyway.. She came out with 'people are supposed to give something even if they don't attend' in front of my co-workers.. that more than annoyed me...Never spoke to her again.

Maybe your no shows will send something later on.. You never know....
Jna2010 Posted:

Re: if you decline a shower, do you give a gift?

if i decline a shower, i always send a gift

i dont think its petty of you, ESPECIALLY for the ones you did give gifts to!
Rosalind_75 Posted:

Re: if you decline a shower, do you give a gift?

Posted by win01

I never send anything if I don't go to a shower. If it were my family or really good friend I would be at the shower..


I had people tell me that they expected something when they sent wedding invites and people didn't come...I was very surprised by that as I don't think it should be an obligation, but something they want to do..



two of my girls who i consider really good friends i could not make it to their showers.

one- my wedding day
two- my hm


i had peoele rsvp no and i was super pissed when they didnt send money of a gift. that's because i shelled out some big bucks for their day. how easy they forgot what i gave them
summerbride20 Posted:

Re: if you decline a shower, do you give a gift?

I always, always send a gift to anything I decline...

Lots of people said no to my shower and my wedding and NOT ONE sent a gift or even a congrats card!!

So to the reverse of what some people here have said... now that i see no one reciprocates (because people i have spent A LOT of money and energy and time on sent nothing) .... I am now wondering if I'm just too generous and should stop giving gifts to things I do not attend....
summerbride20 Posted:

Re: if you decline a shower, do you give a gift?

In addition, I send handwritten thank you cards to everyone who gives me any type of gift....

ive sent three gifts in the past year in which I didn't even get an acknowledgment that they received it....
Lisalana Posted:

Re: if you decline a shower, do you give a gift?

Posted by summerbride20

In addition, I send handwritten thank you cards to everyone who gives me any type of gift....

ive sent three gifts in the past year in which I didn't even get an acknowledgment that they received it....



Same for me!! Still waiting for TY from shower in DECEMBER! Boy does that make me mad!!
allornil Posted:

Re: if you decline a shower, do you give a gift?

I usually send one too. its rare i get invited to something for someone i barely know so I really gave exactly what i would have if I went bc I liked them.

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