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I'll give you a topic... discuss....

Lools Posted:

I'll give you a topic... discuss....

What do you think about guests not attending the ceremony, but attending the reception?

IMO - I always go to the ceremony. I honestly think it's kind of rude not to watch the couple exchange vows, but then show up later at the party to eat and dance at their expense. The ceremony is the most important part. Without the marriage there would be no reception! I also would feel kinda crummy and let-down if only a handful of people showed up for my ceremony.
Again, just my opinion....

now your thoughts???
JenMike331 Posted:

Re: I'll give you a topic... discuss....

im totally cool with ppl that didnt show at the church to show at the reception.....expecially for a friday ceremony....ppl have to work for sat or sun i guess ppl should show but it doesnt bother me if they dont show for mine...its about immediate fam and me and fh no one else is necessary really

dgirl Posted:

Re: I'll give you a topic... discuss....

I think it depends on the logistics. What day is the wedding? On a Friday afternoon a lot of people may not be able to get out of work to attend the ceremony but they can rush home and get to the reception.

It was extremely important to us that everyone attend the ceremony so we're having the ceremony and reception in the same place and immediately following one another.

My friend got married last Friday and there were maybe 50 people at the church but about 200 at the reception several hours later.
snydl40 Posted:

Re: I'll give you a topic... discuss....

I like attending the ceremony-but sometimes it is not always convenient for everyone-ie, if the ceremony is at 5:00pm on a Friday night. I wouldn't mind if a few family friends missed the ceremony-I would rather it be just close friends and family.

eternitybride Posted:

Re: I'll give you a topic... discuss....

I would say it depends on the wedding. Some keep the actual ceremony small, and a large reception. I went to a friends weddding at Fox Hollow this summer, and there were more people there for the reception than the ceremony because people were either running late or were coming from somethign else, but wanted to be there for part of their celebration.

I am fine with it, maybe not compltely ok, but fine with the idea, because I know that while my wedding is important to me, it may not be first priority of my friends (even though it should be because it will be my FABULOUS wedding lol)
Lools Posted:

Re: I'll give you a topic... discuss....


Posted by JenMike331

im totally cool with ppl that didnt show at the church to show at the reception.....expecially for a friday ceremony....ppl have to work for sat or sun i guess ppl should show but it doesnt bother me if they dont show for mine...its about immediate fam and me and fh no one else is necessary really



I totally understand not going to the ceremony if it's on a week night, since most people work during the day. But how long is a wedding ceremony on average, an hour? I don't know, I always make an effort to go to the ceremony and an extra hour out of my day is no big deal. I also really like to witness the actual marriage, but that's just me. Everyone is different and of course there are always exceptions and good excuses. I just feel it's nice to go.
Lools Posted:

Re: I'll give you a topic... discuss....


Posted by eternitybride

I am fine with it, maybe not compltely ok, but fine with the idea, because I know that while my wedding is important to me, it may not be first priority of my friends (even though it should be because it will be my FABULOUS wedding lol)




lol I like the last part of that...

This was just a general topic I thought of. There's no bride or person I'm thinking of specifically. Just wanted some of your thoughts ladies
kimnsteve Posted:

Re: I'll give you a topic... discuss....

MY Fh and I were just discussing this ...saturday we have a wedding to go to at 230 (church) now i am defin going but he has work the night before until 8( plus one hour commute) saturday morning ...in order for him to function at the reception he needs to sleep at least until 3 in the afternoon...which will make him miss the church...but it is one of his friends not mine ...so i told him he was wrong for not going ...but i guess he doesnt think its a big deal

Tiggeruth Posted:

Re: I'll give you a topic... discuss....

I am fine with it, the church and reception are like 30 minutes away from each other and there is a like 2 and a half hours between church adn reception so the logistics for local people who might not know all the family that will be there or really have a good way to kill time, I can understand them just showing up for the reception.

I am not having a weekday wedding but if i were i woudl be even more understanding because FH and I tried once to make it to the ceremony part of a week day wedding, both left work wicked early and then got caught in traffic and missed it. Things happen.

I will be happy with whatever people chose to do with regards to my wedding. I am just looking forward to people sharing in this special day with me and wont be grading them on how much of it they are there for.
sr081906 Posted:

Re: I'll give you a topic... discuss....

Well, sometimes you would like to make it to someone's wedding but cannot come to both. Most people would choose (I think!) the reception because this is the 'fun' part.

People may not be able to commit to both the ceremony and reception (work, baby sitter, other commitments, etc...)
MnM52607 Posted:

Re: I'll give you a topic... discuss....

I don't mind. I know that the most important people in our lives will be there and that is all that counts.

Snowflake08 Posted:

Re: I'll give you a topic... discuss....

i think it depends on how you grow up. i am jewish and that being said, jewish weddings are often in one place, therefore there is no time inbetween. honestly, the only time i ever heard of someone not going to the ceremony was in a christian / catholic wedding. i personally have gone to the churches of the weddings ive been invited to.

HM807 Posted:

Re: I'll give you a topic... discuss....

I think it all depends on how close you are to the person. If you arernt close...then its acceptable not to show for the ceremony

TheFutureMrsM Posted:

Re: I'll give you a topic... discuss....

I'm catholic and totally agree with beeinsilly. It is more common for people to skip church ceremonys.

However i am marrying a jewish boy hehe
so my ceremony will be at the reception location.
I would hope that if i am having it right before the ceremony at the RH that people would come.
I am having a saturday night wedding, so it should be around 5:30-6:00pm for the ceremony.
Would i be insulted if people didnt show up, definately not, but maybe FH would
HTH
Kara and Todd Posted:

Re: I'll give you a topic... discuss....

I think there are individual circumstances that make it unavoidable for some people to make the church (working on a Friday or something)... but I generally think it's rude not to attend both.

I would understand if some people couldn't make the church for whatever reason... but just not going without a good reason I think is rude. After all, the ceremony is the important part! Well, to me it is!
MichLiz213 Posted:

Re: I'll give you a topic... discuss....

I'm getting married at 3 in the afternoon on a Friday-a rough time for some people to get off of work. I totally understand that. So it doesn't bother me if people come to the reception and don't come to the ceremony.

carlsbride Posted:

Re: I'll give you a topic... discuss....

I was surprised when DH told me that people don't go to the church. I have a huge family and everyone always goes to the ceremony. But I went to a friend's wedding last January and was surprised at how empty the church was. I think it is sad and kind of rude. But maybe some people have a good excuse, everyone is different.

Personally, I do hold a little bit of a grudge with people who did not come to see me & DH get married and just came to the party. Our church was not far from the reception and the time between the ceremony & reception was short, oh well!
JenMike331 Posted:

Re: I'll give you a topic... discuss....


Posted by Lools


Posted by JenMike331

im totally cool with ppl that didnt show at the church to show at the reception.....expecially for a friday ceremony....ppl have to work for sat or sun i guess ppl should show but it doesnt bother me if they dont show for mine...its about immediate fam and me and fh no one else is necessary really



I totally understand not going to the ceremony if it's on a week night, since most people work during the day. But how long is a wedding ceremony on average, an hour? I don't know, I always make an effort to go to the ceremony and an extra hour out of my day is no big deal. I also really like to witness the actual marriage, but that's just me. Everyone is different and of course there are always exceptions and good excuses. I just feel it's nice to go.



thats very true and although i would like to say i go to all the ceremonys like u i really dont maybe thats why it isnt a big deal for eveyrone to be there for mine i just think the real necessary ppl that i want to be there will be there bridal party moms and dads ya know?....ur absolutely right though the ceremony is really the whole reason for everything on that day so i can totally understand what u mean about wanting everyone to be at yours
Tatum&Steve Posted:

Re: I'll give you a topic... discuss....

I did't read all the responces but her is my O...

I feel that if I can attend the ceremony I will, I feel that if it is on a Friday or very far away I usually won't..but if it is a dear friend, I will not miss it no matter what. That is why I choose to have my wedding on Sunday instead of Friday, because I feel the ceremony is important and I want my church filled with loved ones!
Chrissywish Posted:

Re: I'll give you a topic... discuss....

I honestly do not mind if people miss the ceremony as long as the closest people are there.....if it's a friday or people are traveling it is also understood....i know there have also been a few weddings where I went to the ceremony and FH didnt, but we went to the reception together...he just doesn't care to sit there

I don't take it personal...everyone has their own lives and the important people will be at the important events

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