I'm 32 and want to have a child right after the wedding. Do I put pregnancy off for financial reasons? (long, sorry!)

cluelessbride Posted: Jul 06, 2003 11:11 AM

I'm 32 and want to have a child right after the wedding. Do I put pregnancy off for financial reasons? (long, sorry!)

For all moms who didn't have a house when they became pregnant:

FH and I are 32, will be 33 when we are married. I want to try to conceive right away. Assuming it will take a while, would we be foolish to wait any longer, until we have a house?

I always wanted to have a house before I had a child, so that FH and I don't lose our minds and can have space. But, taking my age into consideration I wonder if I am being foolish, that I may be tempting the clock if I wait too long?

FH and I both have good jobs, but we're not rich by any means. We are paying off our debts while saving for a home, but it will be about 5 years before we have enough for a downpayment.

If anyone has had a child in less than ideal financial circumstances, please let me know what you think.

Thank you Mommies!!

egreen3792 Posted: Jul 06, 2003 11:32 AM

Re: I'm 32 and want to have a child right after the wedding. Do I put pregnancy off for financial reasons? (long, sorry!)

We are not in a house as of yet.............we are renting a 3 br apt. and a house is not in our future for at least 5 years........

JennRenee Posted: Jul 06, 2003 11:37 AM

Re: I'm 32 and want to have a child right after the wedding. Do I put pregnancy off for financial reasons? (long, sorry!)

If having a child is THAT important to you, I say go for it.

kptoys Posted: Jul 06, 2003 11:42 AM

Re: I'm 32 and want to have a child right after the wedding. Do I put pregnancy off for financial reasons? (long, sorry!)

When I got prego FH and I lived in a one bedroom apartment. We were able to get into a 4 bedroom house with a yard. Yes its tough at times with me being a SAHM and having FH working all the time but we do it and we have an amazing baby. If you want to have a baby don't wait. Once you have one you may want 4!

Stacey1403 Posted: Jul 06, 2003 11:47 AM

Re: I'm 32 and want to have a child right after the wedding. Do I put pregnancy off for financial reasons? (long, sorry!)

We live in the apartment in my sister's house and I got a preggo on the honeymoon *take note we got preggo the first try * We are saving for a house but a baby was so important we didn't want to wait!!! If you want a baby go for it!!!

cluelessbride Posted: Jul 06, 2003 11:53 AM

Re: I'm 32 and want to have a child right after the wedding. Do I put pregnancy off for financial reasons? (long, sorry!)

Thanks you guys!

mlp924 Posted: Jul 06, 2003 09:59 PM

Re: I'm 32 and want to have a child right after the wedding. Do I put pregnancy off for financial reasons? (long, sorry!)

I didn't have a house until my children were 6, 5, 1. We lived in a 3 bedroom apartment in Queens until we could afford the right house. It really doesn't matter where you live as long as you are happy together. Have the children, the house will come when the time is right.

Claud2001 Posted: Jul 06, 2003 10:12 PM

Re: I'm 32 and want to have a child right after the wedding. Do I put pregnancy off for financial reasons? (long, sorry!)

Jeff and I were living in California in a small two-bedroom apt. when we became pregnant only 2 months after our wedding. We moved back to NY when Paul was 3 months old, and we were so lucky to live with my parents for almost a year, giving us an affordable place to live while we saved more and searched for a home of our own.

I realize not everyone has that type of option. But, by the same token, it can be difficult to put decisions about babies on hold based solely on finances. For one, there will never be 'enough' money - it's natural to want more in your savings acct, and more to just play and have fun with. There will always be something that could take precedence over starting a family, if you let it. Try to make the decision based upon whether you are emotionally ready and whether you are willing to have your entire lifestyle change. Sacrifice will become a regular part of your vocabulary. Then decide if you could possibly get by on just one income for awhile, just in case you decide to be a SAHM initially.

Jeff and I were having a similar discussion just this evening - our parents somehow managed to raise 2 or 3 kids on a lot less than we have today, and we had wonderful childhoods. Money makes our lives more comfortable - there's no question, but sometimes it's not the key ingredient in making you happy.

Have you considered buying a smaller property - like a condo or townhouse, just to enter the market? Then you can build some equity and maybe trade up in a few years after a baby comes, or when you become pregnant.

yabbobay Posted: Jul 06, 2003 11:20 PM

Re: I'm 32 and want to have a child right after the wedding. Do I put pregnancy off for financial reasons? (long, sorry!)

I agree with Claud...I don't think there is ever enough money (for whatever..not just kids)

but I think a smaller property is a good route to go...

NIHA Posted: Jul 06, 2003 11:24 PM

Re: I'm 32 and want to have a child right after the wedding. Do I put pregnancy off for financial reasons? (long, sorry!)

I think it is never exactly the right time, and there is never enough space or money. So, I say go for it, if you and FH really want to have a child. I'm 27, we don't own a house, but bought a 2 BR co-op which we're comfortable in with 1 baby.

dkga1026 Posted: Jul 07, 2003 11:08 AM

Re: I'm 32 and want to have a child right after the wedding. Do I put pregnancy off for financial reasons? (long, sorry!)

I thought the same way - that we would buy a house before we had a baby. But, realistically speaking, the way the real estate market is nowadays, it may be a long while before we can afford the home we want. We currently rent a very comfy 3 bedroom home that has more than enough room for the 3 of us. I believe the home will come when the time is right.

Sassy Posted: Jul 07, 2003 11:15 AM

Re: I'm 32 and want to have a child right after the wedding. Do I put pregnancy off for financial reasons? (long, sorry!)

We arent' TTC till next year (I'm also 32) and that time comes, house or not we are going to try.
We have been back and forth w/this issue also. But we decided, the birth of a baby is so precious, we don't want to wait too long and jeopardize our chances.
Only you can decide what is important to you. Good luck w/your decision.

NuBride Posted: Jul 07, 2003 02:30 PM

Re: I'm 32 and want to have a child right after the wedding. Do I put pregnancy off for financial reasons? (long, sorry!)

Here's a twist...............I met my husband at 32 yrs old, and I am now 35 and pregnant with our first child, I am due anyday now. We are currently living in a one room apartment, approximately 600 sq feet and we OWN a three bedroom house in N.Bellmore that we are selling just so we can get a NICER house in the future.

The point I'm trying to make is we are willing to sacrifice staying in this apartment, so we can have a nicer home in the long run. I say go for it and don't waste anymore time, it's not guaranteed you will get pregnant immediately. Good luck to you.

michele31 Posted: Jul 07, 2003 03:21 PM

Re: I'm 32 and want to have a child right after the wedding. Do I put pregnancy off for financial reasons? (long, sorry!)

I think this is an issue that many, many couples on LI face today. Homes are sooo expensive, compared to many places around the country. I would venture to say most of us were raised on A LOT less money than we all have today, and in most of the US the national average income for a family of 4 is around $35K or so.
And honestly, a lot of the 'things' that we all want for our babies are really for the parents. I mean, does an infant care if he/she has an expensive, all matching crib bedding set or fancy crib? Of course not. I think it is similar to weddings is some ways. Do guests care if you have inexpensive flowers or the highest end ones? No, but as the bride you had priorities. Same as having a baby. You do need enough money for diapers, food, car seat, medical expenses, etc.. but many of the 'things' are not required by a baby at all.
Money is NOT the most important thing by any means.

I will say that once you start to TTC, you should be prepared for it to happen at anytime, including month #1. So it is hard to say 'well, we can continue to save and start to TTC and I am sure that will take months' because sometimes it does, and sometimes it happens very quickly.

bearsbabe_113 Posted: Jul 07, 2003 04:21 PM

Re: I'm 32 and want to have a child right after the wedding. Do I put pregnancy off for financial reasons? (long, sorry!)

As Claud and several others pointed out, you will never have 'enough money' -- that's the American way!!

I got married when I was 36, I'm now 38 and expecting my first child in Sept. We currently live downstairs from his grandmother, in what is now a 1 bedroom, but used to be 2 bedrooms. Sure I would love to be in a bigger place with a separate room for the baby, but is that really so important? When the time is right, we'll move, but for now, it's totally fine. I grew up in a 2 bedroom apt my whole life, sharing it with my sister, and it turned out perfectly fine.

I had a neighbor who had 2 kids and they lived in a 1 bedroom apt!!!!! He didn't move out until the kids were about 10 and 8!!!!

My point is that you learn to live with what you have until the opportunity comes along to move on.