So I am in a wedding next June (08). the bride just sent out an e-mail to all of us (maids) and asked for our measurements so she could go an order us a dress. Isnt that a little, hm, i dont know the word i want to use. She didnt even have us try the dresses on to see if we liked them. Of course they look good on the model on the comp but they sure as hell wont look the same on me. And to top it off, she said she wants to keep it as close to $300 as possible if not lower. I know that might not seem like a lot to some of you, but I am on a budget myself. her parents are paying for her wedding and they are very comfy with money so maybe it doesnt seem like a lot to her. am i wrong to think these things? My mom said i should ask her to try and keep it lower than that but i dont feel i have a right. I told my mom i would step down b4 that happens.
HELP ME!!!! \
OH AND PLEASE DONT QUOTE> IM NOT SURE IF SHE COMES ON SO I MIGHT BE DELETING THIS.
mrspalomino148
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Re: IM A BRIDESMAID....VENT
are all of her BMs out of the area that they couldnt all go look at them?? I would probably go find out what dress it is, and personally go try it on lol, but thats just me
SugaBeans
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Re: IM A BRIDESMAID....VENT
no i am the only one out of state. but she sent it to all of us. Shes in Jersey.
MrsD71208
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Re: IM A BRIDESMAID....VENT
Well, I was in FSIL's wedding and my best friend's wedding this summer and we weren't given the option of dresses either. We were told the style number and color and ordered it. However, both took into consideration their girls and chose wisely. What dress is it?
For the price....most BM dresses are on average $200.00. That's excluding tax and alterations and is also on the higher end for most designers. What designer is it that is charging $300.00 and is it before tax and alteration? Both dresses I bought were over $300.00 after both were included.
mrspalomino148
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Re: IM A BRIDESMAID....VENT
jersey isnt far soo i don't get why she would be doing that ... a little song comes to mind *bridezilla*
Teamhurldon
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Re: IM A BRIDESMAID....VENT
i was in a wedding like this once and im all for whatever dress the bride wants me to wear, ill wear... BUT that said, she should try to be respectful of her maids finances..... and pick something affordable to everyone the measurements i sent this gal, she said seemed small so she ordered me a size 8, at that time i was a two and spent over 200 on alterations cus a seamstress had to butcher it.... i dont like the system of 'send me your measurements'
Autumn08
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Re: IM A BRIDESMAID....VENT
Personally I don't get picking out a dress and saying to several people wear it or step down... There are many things to consider... is it uncomfortable, unflattering, expensive etc. All of these are big things to consider because if you wipe out a BMs bank account on a dress they will never wear again and they are uncomfortable and look like a overstuffed sausage... I'm sure that will make for beautiful pictures the day of.
I am giving them all a say on picking out a dress. I even said it didn't have to match as long as we had the same colors. This way everyone could be happy, beautiful, and comfortable with the price tag as well. As of now they want to match but that's they're decision. I'm only guiding them.
I hope you can work something out. And at the very least try on the dress and get professionally measure!!! And if you are not comfortable with the price speak up!!! Because you still need any alterations, DOJ, shoes, hair, make up, paying for the shower and bacheloratte party etc.... It's going to get very expensive.
bemyyoko
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Re: IM A BRIDESMAID....VENT
My goal was to keep my bm dresses under under $175 because one of my BM is getting married, my MOH is a grad student, 2 of them are junior bm's and their mom is buying both of their dresses...
i think $300 is a very high budget for a dress.
I asked my bm's if they minded the fact that they might not get to try the dress on before we order it, and most of them said no because it's a universally flattering style. I never got to try on the bm dresses before ordering them before, so it doesnt seem odd to me that she'd do it that way. but i can understand the concern.
mrspalomino148
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Re: IM A BRIDESMAID....VENT
I totally agree, I used black soo maybe there is a possibility they can wear it again, and I told them all that i really don't care the style so long as its black and long... especially since alot of my bridesmaids are just out of school or still in school they don't have 300+ to spend on a gown for one day, plsu all the other expenses
crap i forgot no quoting, lol
Lucky0510
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Re: IM A BRIDESMAID....VENT
I think thats a little rude... you should at lest be able to try it on to see if your comfortable in it. Especially if you are expected to pay that much for it. I would politely insist that you be able to try it on before ordering it. Obviously we know the bride is entitled to pick whatever she wants for her day... however... you have the right to decided if you want to participate as a BM or not.
Autumn08
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Re: IM A BRIDESMAID....VENT
Oops... I hit a wrong button
JimmysPants
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Re: IM A BRIDESMAID....VENT
When my best friend got married she took one of her BM's with her to try the dress on and then had us order them. She didnt ask any of the other girls if they liked them. She said she did it because she knew what she wanted and didnt want the headache of hearing anyone complain. and that was that. After going with my BM's, I wish i had done the same... nothing but aggravation.
SugaBeans
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Re: IM A BRIDESMAID....VENT
Thanks
JimmysPants
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Re: IM A BRIDESMAID....VENT
I know i realized after. i fixed it.
stlmn2u
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Re: IM A BRIDESMAID....VENT
The BM dresses I chose for my bridesmaids were $145....I took price into consideration when I picked the dress....It just so happened that the dress I loved, was the most inexpensive and it looks great on all of my BM... I would ask her if she could find something more inexpensive, or ask if you could try it on first to see if you're comfortable in it...If you don't like it, I would tell her you need to step down...
SugaBeans
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Re: IM A BRIDESMAID....VENT
i have never heard of anyone doing it this way, not going as a group to look. Thanks for the opinions and making me feel like im not crazy.
BNBride60
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Re: IM A BRIDESMAID....VENT
i agree about the $300 being a lot, but as far as not asking opinions on the dress, sorry but i have to side with the bride. i took 3 of my BMs dress shopping and told them to pick whatever they wanted as long as it was blue. well, after that they started picking greens and pinks, etc. then, when i finally communicated that it was BLUE only, the all could not agree on a style. in sum, it was a hellish experience becuase you can never make everyone happy at the same time.
BNBride60
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Re: IM A BRIDESMAID....VENT
Posted by Jess125483
i agree about the $300 being a lot, but as far as not asking opinions on the dress, sorry but i have to side with the bride. i took 3 of my BMs dress shopping and told them to pick whatever they wanted as long as it was blue. well, after that they started picking greens and pinks, etc. then, when i finally communicated that it was BLUE only, the all could not agree on a style. in sum, it was a hellish experience becuase you can never make everyone happy at the same time.
ETA: If I were going to ask my BMs to spend $300, though, I'd def make sure that everyone loved it AND could wear it again!
RadiantBride
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Re: IM A BRIDESMAID....VENT
Wow 300 seems like a lot to me as well.
I would say go into any bridal store and try on the dress or at least something similar. I would speak to her about the finances, dont feel bad just let her know that unfortunately that is going to be a little over your budget right now. I would definitley understand
DiamondPipa
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Re: IM A BRIDESMAID....VENT
i just paid $400 for a dress to be in a wedding...it comes with the costs....i've learned to deal with these costs and move on. just have a good time...your friend is getting married!
