i'm a little annoyed...

where to start.... ok, one of my bm's has been married for 4 years. i was one of her bridesmaids. i was an active participant in her wedding - went to WEEKLY MEETINGS at her now sil's to plan her bridal shower, went to rehersal and rehersal dinner, went with her to get hair & make-up done with the rest of the girls. and why? because she's my friend, i was excited for her, and wanted to be involved in whatever i could be involved in.

fast forward to my wedding. i asked her to be a bm and she said yes. she's made it pretty clear to me on several occasions that she doesn't think she can take off work the friday of my wedding weekend for the rehersal b/c she's already taking off saturday (she sings in a wedding band and i know from past conversations with her that november is not a busy time for them). it really bothers me b/c i feel like she just doesn't care enough about me/fh/wedding to take another day off especially when other members of the band don't seem to have a hard time skipping out on gigs.

then, a couple of weeks ago i asked my moh and bm's if they were interested in getting hair and/or make-up done with me at the salon the day of. i provided them with pricing and all that jazz. she was the only one who didn't respond so i followed up with her today. this is the response i got:

' i guess cuz im gonna be out in LI anyway, because of the rehearasal dinner the night before, it would only make sense for me to get my hair and make up done with you guys.'

i'm happy that she's decided to come out on friday (although i have to admit i feel like she's coming b/c she feels she has to, not b/c she wants to). but then the way she phrased it a/b the hair make-up... i don't know. i guess i would have liked her to be more along the lines of wanting to come with us b/c she wants to be with us on such a special occasion. not b/c 'it makes sense'.

i know i'm being stupid and overly sensitive, but i just needed to vent about it.

You are not, in my opinion, being over sensitive...you asked the people in your wedding party to be a part of your day because you wanted them to share in your happiness (just as, in this case, you shared in her happiness). One assumes that when you agree to be in a bridal party, it is because you also want to share in that happiness...and it doesn't seem that is what this person is experiencing .

I just went through a similar situation, except the BM dropped out of my wedding (supposed financial concerns). But i have heard from the other BMs that she was not at all enthusiastic, nor even involved in planning...in fact she made it clear that she wouldn't be able to attend the shower or any other functions due to time and money issues....

i was very upset when she dropped out, but I finally realized that I want to be surrounded by people who want to be there with me...

I am assuming that you invited this girl to be in your wedding party because she is your friend and because you wanted her to share in your excitement. Maybe if you tell her this again it will spark some enthusiasm in her. If not, just enjoy your planning and your day - you will be excited and those around you will share in that. If this girl chooses not to get excited for you, that is really her loss and something that you might evaluate after everything is said and done, but don't let it stress you...HTH

You are not being over senstive at all, she should understand you did the same for her during her wedding planning and she should do the same for yours.