I'm a little pissed! Vent & advice-UPDATE

nferrandi Posted: Jan 27, 2004 11:04 AM

I'm a little pissed! Vent & advice-UPDATE

Some of you may remember me b*tching about my FBIL getting engaged to a girl I don't like (everyone else shares my views of her), and only a few months after FH and I got engaged! Now I come to find out the her engagement ring looks A LOT like mine. I've even had guys comment on it, and you know they don't even care about stuff like that!
Considering I don't like her to begin with, how the heck am I supposed to react when I see the ring?! My mom suggested that I be cute and say, 'Oh your ring is so pretty. Wow, it's so similar to mine.' What do you girls think?

ETA: Now I feel bad for my FH. His brother was over last night and I asked him if he and his FW had talked about when they may want to get married, and he said, without looking either FH or I in the eye, well she wants to get married in the next 3 months. My FH was in shock. I had told him that they would try to get married before us and he said that even though she may try it, her brother would never allow it. Now he's upset because he expected his brother, twin brother none-the-less, to show him more respect than that. I really feel bad for him.

lullabella Posted: Jan 27, 2004 11:12 AM

Re: I'm a little pissed! Vent & advice

I think you should take the high road and not say anything. Remember this is going to be your FSIL. I think saying something like is a good way to stir up trouble.

Also maybe she has the same taste as you, take it as a compliment.

NYCHICK Posted: Jan 27, 2004 11:15 AM

Re: I'm a little pissed! Vent & advice

i would stick to your mother's plan because you have to say something, that seems like the most polite.

divabride Posted: Jan 27, 2004 11:15 AM

Re: I'm a little pissed! Vent & advice

I agree, theres no need to sink to her level. Know that your ring was chosen with love, as was hers. Only yours was the original and everyone knows it. Let that be your comfort. Plus you always have your wedding band to look forward. Hopefully she wont get the same as yours too!

RedHead Posted: Jan 27, 2004 11:16 AM

Re: I'm a little pissed! Vent & advice

I am an obnoxious person soo i would jokingly say 'YOU COPIED ME ...'

I but i don't know if i would recommend that to anyone lol

OctGroom Posted: Jan 27, 2004 11:23 AM

Re: I'm a little pissed! Vent & advice

Don't even think about it. That stuff is meaningless. Though I am a bit surprised about how a guy would comment on that. Strange. Yet trivial.

nferrandi Posted: Jan 27, 2004 11:23 AM

Re: I'm a little pissed! Vent & advice

She seems to be trying a little too hard to follow in our footsteps. My FH and his brother are twins, so it makes it even worse. My FH spent months having my ring custom made for me and then his brother went to the store and picked something off the shelf that is EXTREMELY similar in style to mine. It just pisses me off.
And let me just add, this is the same girl who tried to publicly embarass me in front of both friends and strangers because I wanted an engagement ring and I cared what it looked like. She said how she could care less and in fact didn't want a diamond engagement ring. Doesn't it seem a tad hypocritical for her to get a ring so similar to mine? This is also the girl who told me she wasn't very happy when she found out FH and I were engaged.
I'm at my whitts end with all of this.

Jordan Posted: Jan 27, 2004 11:30 AM

Re: I'm a little pissed! Vent & advice

Posted by lullabella

I think you should take the high road and not say anything. Remember this is going to be your FSIL. I think saying something like is a good way to stir up trouble.

Also maybe she has the same taste as you, take it as a compliment.

I have to agree. I really don't see how saying something is going to make the situation better for you. Just enjoy your FH and the time you are spending planning your wedding.

wenndypoo Posted: Jan 27, 2004 11:33 AM

Re: I'm a little pissed! Vent & advice

Don't even think about it. That stuff is meaningless

Agreed. Don't waste your time on this.

divabride Posted: Jan 27, 2004 11:37 AM

Re: I'm a little pissed! Vent & advice

Hon, its obvious she wants to get under your skin, and by the sound of it, she's doing just that. I can kinda relate to you because I have a cousin who's gf feels she needs to compete against me. She has something bad to say about everything Im planning for my wedding. Only I've realized she's jealous because she wishes she were in my shoes. Im taking it that this girl probably knew that they were getting engaged and is pissed off you guys did first. Dont let her get the best of you!!!

september2004 Posted: Jan 27, 2004 11:47 AM

Re: I'm a little pissed! Vent & advice

Posted by wenndypoo

Don't even think about it. That stuff is meaningless

Agreed. Don't waste your time on this.

ditto!

butterfly20 Posted: Jan 27, 2004 02:01 PM

Re: I'm a little pissed! Vent & advice

i know the best advice would be 'take the high road'.. but she sounds like a person who would p*ss me off too much to do that...

id probably do what your mother says,or similar

maybe put your ring finger(with your ring on) next to her finger, and say 'they look almost identical, its too bad i know you didnt want a diamond ring '

B2BMay04 Posted: Jan 27, 2004 02:13 PM

Re: I'm a little pissed! Vent & advice

Did she pick the ring out or did your FBIL? Keep in mind twins so eirie things. My sisters are twins and I can't tell you how many times they have picked the same thing for a gift or even a B-day card.

I wouldn't waste any energy on this. Some people just like to have drama. Don't give it to her. Be a better person.

MizStinker Posted: Jan 27, 2004 03:14 PM

Re: I'm a little pissed! Vent & advice

I agree with the twin thing - they do similar things toeach other with out even really thinking about it - so maybe he picked it out.

As for her - do you really need to have contact with her? I would just cut her dead, who the hell was she to tell you she wasnt happy about your engagement?

heidla Posted: Jan 27, 2004 03:30 PM

Re: I'm a little pissed! Vent & advice

Sounds like she is a miserable person. We all know people that just try to bring you down and get under your skin because nothing makes them happy and they are jealous. I work with several people like this and I just remind myself how lucky I am that I don't have to undermine anyone in order for me to feel good about myself and my life. Don't let this get to you. If you do then she wins.

nferrandi Posted: Jan 27, 2004 03:50 PM

Re: I'm a little pissed! Vent & advice

I always try to be the bigger person, but I can't help it when she brings out the b*tch in me. I can't even begin to count or tell you all of the horrible things she's said/done to me. I do try to avoid her when possible, but being that we're going to be family, it's a little tough to do. I always make it a point to show her respect, but I've learned my lesson from the past and I do not try to be her friend. I think my biggest problem is that she makes me get away from the person I normaly am, and am normally proud of. It's hard for me to not go out of my way to make someone feel comfortable, but she makes it impossible and tries to put me down whenever I leave the window open.
Ultimately there's nothing I can do to change her, or that fact that her ring looks like mine. I guess I just have to focus on how much I love my ring, and even more on how much I love my FH for all his hard work in having my ring made for me! I love him so much, and that's what I should be focusing on. Sometimes the b*tch in my just takes over! lol!

jpdagame Posted: Jan 27, 2004 04:23 PM

Re: I'm a little pissed! Vent & advice

Take it as a compliment... Maybe she wishes she was more like you?!?

Xelindrya Posted: Jan 27, 2004 05:29 PM

Re: I'm a little pissed! Vent & advice

I'd be just as pissed.

My best friend (guy and an ex) found out I got engaged saw the ring and got his girlfriend (sorry is FUTURE WIFE) a bigger and fancier ring! He asked when our date was and then set his earlier. I actually like this guy mind you.

My thoughts

Screw her/him/it!

*I* am getting married to the man I love. It's MY wedding... besides.. NOTHING of my wedding will be like my friends because Im daring and wild. I am already technically married and I havent told my friend... he HATES to be last at anything. I just feel sorry for her. If I were you I'd feel sorry for your FBIL and frankly I'd stop bothering with this person and make sure to be careful how much she knows or doesnt know about your wedding.

Otherwise.. Screw it .. who cares.. don't let her bother you... If she had gotten a replica of your ring exactly it will NEVER be YOUR ring.. your ring your husband gave you and gave you his heart. She can't beat that. You could even say 'I had it first' but even that, who cares.. Marriage is about you and him and no one else. It's nice to have the family unit but face it.. it's just you and your future hubby you gotta deal with, no one else.

Hang in there!!

nferrandi Posted: Jan 28, 2004 01:50 PM

Re: I'm a little pissed! Vent & advice-UPDATE

bumped for update

butterfly20 Posted: Jan 28, 2004 02:20 PM

Re: I'm a little pissed! Vent & advice-UPDATE

omg....i know this may sound horrible.. but take it as a blessing,... if they get married before you(and in a rush no less), their vendor selections are going to be severly limited, and people may have plans for their date...
also did you and your fh tell them much of the details? because if you didnt and they have the wedding before you, how are they suppose to copy you? it maybe work out alot better than if the wedding is after yours... and now your fh sees what his brother is upto..