I'm going to call off my bachelorette party! (Long Vent)

I'm royally annoyed with 1 of my BM's. My MOH booked a limo for us for the whole night and she sent out invitations to everyone in which she stated the approximate amount of $$ everyone would have to contribute towards the limo. Now this amount was not cheap but it wasn't exactly extreme either. Anyhow, my BM calls my MOH yesterday to tell her that she is coming with us but she doesn't have money for the limo and will follow us in her car. And she's given this idea to other invitees who have in mind to follow suit. I think it defeats the purpose of anyone coming with us if they won't be part of the group. Now don't get me wrong I know what it's like not to have money at the moment but since this is not something that we just sprung on everyone (for months they all knew it was coming) so why couldn't you put a few bucks to side for it. I know sometimes you may not know other peoples situations but in this case this is someone who's situation I know plenty about and I've gotten a dose of this same crap before from her. Since I got engaged last January she's known when the wedding was going to be, and she known she's a BM since February so even though I'd been reminding her way before that we had to get the dresses soon. In September when I told her it was time to get the dresses she gave me the 'I don't have the money' ok so I told her that if she could not afford it that I would not force her to be a BM with no hard feelings. She then said no it's okay I'll ust get the money from my mom. OKKKK? Then not long after that was done with she's running around the office telling everyone how she booked tickets to Las Vegas for her and her ex boyfriend who is now her friend with benefits (and he didn't even want to go with her). And she was looking to rent a fancy car for him to drive while they were out there. I thought you were strapped for cash??? Not to mention that she manages to have cash to go to AC or Foxwoods to gamble??? If the wedding weren't in less than a month I'd fire her as a BM.
Anyhow, I'm planning to cancel the Bachelorette party and just do something for those that are nearest and dearest to me.

That's awful. I would sit her down and tell her how you feel and give her the examples that you've written here. She needs to get her priorities straight. I wouldn't cancel it all together b/c then everyone loses out. But I would certainly make it clear to her that she had months - even better- have your MOH talk to her- it's one of her responsibilities to keep the bridal party 'in order' (sorry, can't think for a better word right now) and you have enough on your plate!! I would let her tell your 'friend' that it's really upsetting/stressing you and that you feel like she doesn't care about being a part of the biggest day of your life. Maybe she needs to hear it from someone!!! Good luck- keep your chin up!

Sorry That is so wrong. I was a MOH and the same excat thing happened to me! I actually called the girl out on it and told her how wrong it was, in the end she came in the limo but another BM and I wound up paying her share.

I am sorry this is happening to you. There are alot of us on the board who have had the ABM blues. People start to show their true character when it comes to weddings. You should sit down with her and let her know how you feel about her actions. Some people are just to narcissistic, and can't realize when they need to be giving for a change. I mean you are only getting married once. She could have been more accomodating. to you

That 'friend' sucks.. It's too bad you can't give her the boot. She's being a complete pain in he a$$ especailly at a time you should be enjoying and even more especially, because there's so much stress going on when trying to put everything together, you don't need anymore dumb crap happening.

God, I hate when people act like this.

Yep.. you can tell her it's cancelled.. and just do somehting with everyone else who would have made it to your party.

sorry that happened...

in my opinion, all the Bridemaids should go with you in the limo,
then if anyone else wants to follow, so be it, but the bridal party should definately share in the limo ride..

I feel bad for you BUT...

I got pissed at a MOH once because I was not willing to shell out $100 for a bachelorette party. I thought it was inappropriate and did not participate. I was not in the bridal party but felt bad for those who were. $100 here, $100 there, $200 for the dress, $300 for hotel, $200 for a gift...and this is for those who are not OOT!

It starts to add up real quick. I don't know about you girls, but I am not made of money. My FH and I make a good living, but 2-3 weddings a year OOT starts to translate to thousands of dollars...

I love my friends and they are my friends because they don't put demands on me, as I do not make demands on them. I don't have a sense of entitlement and do not expect things from them. I am paying for their dresses. No bachelorette party, no shower (although I have a feeling it will happen regardless of what I say, no presents though). That's it. I just would like them to be there on my special day.

Follow in her car? That's extremely tacky. If she can't get the cash, just don't go. Follow in a car...what a tool.

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Posted by MrHostility

Follow in her car? That's extremely tacky. If she can't get the cash, just don't go. Follow in a car...what a tool.

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for real, that is the tackiest of tacky

I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU ARE FEELING!!!!!!!!!!!!
LISTEN TO THIS
MOH PLANNING AND MAKES ALLTHE CALLS OK EVERYNE BUT ONE IS GIVING A HARD TIME!(DOING THE LIMO THING TOO)
THEN THEN THE ONE GIVING THE HARD TIME HER AND HER SISTER (BOTH BM'S) SAY THEY ARE NOT GOING UNLESS THEY ARE PICKED UP AND DROPPED OFF AT HOME ! THE SAME GIRLS THAT DON'T DRINK! I ASKED FOR THEM TO GO RIGHT AROUND THE CONOR TO GET PICKED UP AT THE PARK AND RIDE OFF OF THE LIE AT 63. THEY SAID NO! BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE DROPPED OFF AND PICKED UP IF THEY ARE DRINKING EVEN ONE DRINK THEY WON'T DRIVE OK FINE BUT THEY DON'T DRINK!
THEN MY SISTER IS ALL GUN HO FOR THE LIMO THEN SHE ASKED IF HER FIREND CAN COME! SHE IS NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING NOR ANYTHING ELSE FOR THE WEDDING. THEN CALLS TO SAY HER FRIEND WANTS TO GO BUT NOT IN THE LIMO SO NOW MY OWN SISTER WANTS OUT OF THE LIMO! SHE DRINKS!AND SO DOES HER FRIEND! NOW I AM WORRIED!
SO NOW IT'S MY SISTER NOT COMMING IN THE LIMO BUT THE 2 SISTERS ARE AND NOW THE PRICE OF THE LIMO WENT UP AGAIN!
THE BEST PART IS NOW I AM BEING TOLD I AM FORCING THEM.. UMMM NOT I ASKED THEM THEY ASKED BACK AND NOW I TOLD THEM DO WHAT EVER YOU WANT CAUSE I AM SICK OF DOING FOR YOU AND NOT GETTING ANYTHING BACK!
AND LET ME ADD THIS THE ONE GIRL WHO I THOUGHT MIGHT BE A PROBLEM WOULD HAVE BEEN THE BM WHO'S HUSBAND GOT LAID OFF! NOPE SHE ALONG WITH MY MOH SAID SCREW ALL THEM AND WE WILL TAKE YOU OUT ! AT THIS POINT I HAVE CRIED GOT MAD EVEN PISSED BUT I THING MY MOH AND FRIEND ARE RIGHT IT WILL BE JUST US 3!
BY THE WAY THE LIMO AND ADDMISSION TO ESCAPES A TOTTAL OF 103!