Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG) UPDATE page 2
Original post by Goldi1021
As some of you may know, I have yet to do any sort of hair trial because I am in the process of growing out a very butchy short hair cut. This hair cut, I had when FH and I met. It was rather complimentary and feminine. I enjoyed it because it required little (if any) maintenance on a daily basis. I COULD actually vary how it looked - slick it back, spike it up, pull it over to one side etc. UNTIL ONE DAY as we were getting closer to engagement, when FH said 'Id love to see what your hair would look like long - you may want it long for a wedding someday. Well me in all of my stupidity, started to let it all grow out. If any of you have ever grown out a short hair cut, you know it could take years before you can do anything substantial with it.
Picture of me this past summer (e-pic) while still growing:
My hair now (I am the one in pink all the way to the right) So this is where I am right now. I went to my hairdresser today to discuss pacing my hair coloring before the wedding. I would dye it now and then one week before the wedding. As long as my hair is long, it will be highlighted blonde. As a short haired woman, it is red. any of you ladies who dye their hair red know that red hair dye oxidizes and looks brassy in a short period of time. It simply does not look good long AND red. The hair dresser told me that my hair is still nto quite long enough to do what she would like to do for my hair. She said that either my hair should be short (the way I want it) or up (which I am not happy with) because of the severe nature of my dress: I am in complete agreement that my hair should NOT be down. However, in order to put my hair up and have it look full (as my hair is very fine and not full on its own. she suggested an extension. Some of you know I am anti-extension. If it aint coming from my head, I dont want it. It is simply not natural to me. So this long up-do hair thing that FH wants so bad wouldnt even be my hair and I am likely to have a 'double-whammy' if you will. 1) An up-do that I hate and 2)An extension - just to please him.
I have yet to see any bridal hairstyle that I like. I am rather unconventional in my dress choice and I would like to be with my hairstyle choice. At the same time, I want FH to love what I look like on our wedding day AND know that I am happy with what I look like. It is easy to say 'Do what makes you happy' or 'You will be beautiful no matter what' I know this on an intellectual level.
The issue is, if I cut the hair, I will feel that some part of him will wish I looked different but I want to be happy too.
Sorry so long. I am very frustrated.
BJandDan
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Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)
I think you and future hubby will talk about it and figure it out! Don't stress! Stressing just makes you go bald and then you won't have to worry about your hair at all!
MayBride06
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Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)
Les, Cut the hair! It will make you happy and FH will love you no matter what!
mclane
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Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)
I loved your post!! I can totally relate. I had my har really really really short before I met my FH and I'm dying to cut it all off again. I don't think it was butchy before- you can carry it and you look great! Both styles would go with your dress.
Noiva06
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Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)
You have to do what is comfortable for you...
If you are not comfortable on your wedding day with your up do, extensions, or whatever else... you will not be comfortable and it will completely show in your pics and you won't start your day just right...
With that being said, if you love your hair short, then chop it off...
Jen2999
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Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)
I would talk to FH and let him know how much you hate your hair right now. there has to be a happy medium that he agrees with. it must be sooo frustrating to have hair that is not whta you want.. Let us know what you deicde
Goldi1021
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Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)
Posted by BJandDan Stressing just makes you go bald and then you won't have to worry about your hair at all!
THAT would solve ALL of my problems!
Goldi1021
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Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG)
We talked about it and I told him that we really wont know what we can do with my hair until I get the headpiece and my stylist plays around with it. He asked me if I could hold out until then and I really dont think it will make much difference unless my hair grows 5 inches in 4 weeks. I think the headpiece will arrive (AGAIN) within the next couple of weeks. So in the mean time, I have to walk around with bad dark roots b/c why would I invest money in highlights NOW to cut them off in a month. Waste of time and money.
MrsH1156
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Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG) UPDATE page 2
Leslie - First off, I love your hair in your engagement picture. Very classic yet fun. Now, I know FH wants you to wait until you get your headpiece to figure out whether you will cut your hair or not but what do your gut instincts tell you to do? Have you considered maybe getting it cut really short in the back, so you don't have to worry about putting it up, but leaving some length on the top and sides in case you do want to do some sort of waves or curls? I think you're right that you absolutely won't know until you have your headpiece. Even though you don't like the roots (I'm having the same issue right now with mine) if your instincts tell you to wait before you cut your hair, then wait. I know you said you second guess yourself but you also don't want to be staring at yourself in your wedding album 40 yrs from now and be hating your hair.
BKtoLI
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Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG) UPDATE page 2
Leslie, do whatever makes you happy!! Maybe wait until your headpiece comes in. If it looks okay with the hair length you have, then by all means keep it for another few months. If not, then chop it off.
Although like everyone else, you hair length in the e-pics are great!!!
BTW you are not the only one growing your hair for your FH....I had very short hair prior to meeting him. But I will show what can be done with short hair!!!
My hair was above my shoulders in this pic, about maybe right at the bottom of my neck. I have baby fine hair, and yet the stylist managed somehow to pull this hairstyle off and I loved it.
So if your stylist is good enough, anything is possible!!
Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG) UPDATE page 2
Leslie,
I really like your hair in the e-pics...I think it is very classy & elegant...Love the color it is at that point too!!! But you need to do whatever you feel comfortable with!!!
Goldi1021
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Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG) UPDATE page 2
You are all right. The style in my e-pics was lovely and pretty BUT I THINK it is matronly and ERGO not an option for my wedding day.
I have given this some thought. The wedding has been full of compromise in areas where I felt I could still be happy if I gave in - floral arrangements (high versus low), dresses (mine and my BP), locations (Temple versus hall), time of day and day of the week to get married etc... I have been more than flexible to appease or satisfy EVERYONE from FH to my mother to my FMIL to YES even GUESTS (in various capacities) in order to avoid conflict.
But in my mind, this is one area I feel I should NOT have to compromise with a happy medium. It is MY hair and my efforts to have a look that I wanted are being thwarted to some extent. There have been MANY discussions (some rather heated) between FH and myself throughout our engagement on this subject. When someone expresses this much unhappiness over something, no matter how big or small, those opinions should be respected and maybe someone ELSE should cave in.
In the grand scheme of things, it shouldn't matter. It IS just ONE day. I am smart enough to realize that. I haven't asked FH to change or alter his appearance to satisfy me. Bottom line - Why should I?
Thanks for your thoughts and opinions ladies. As always, you are most helpful.
leese
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Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG) UPDATE page 2
goldi: i hear you - you have definitely compromised on things for the wedding.
my only 'non-gloria steinem' statement is this... (and a few years ago I never would have said that)
I was NEVER EVER going to wear a blusher. I was so against it. Then my mom said 'Oh, your father has always dreamed of pulling the blusher off your face.' Then my FH said 'I really love when the bride has a blusher.' Guess what I am wearing?
There are other elements that I have ammended regarding my appearence - my FH doesn't like too much cleavage... so I am more conservative... I know he likes a little more 'bridal' than I usually like... so I had him in mind.
And I hope that he has me in mind when he picks out tuxes, figures out his hair, etc.
I think you should do what makes you happy, but it also doesn't hurt to keep him in mind as well. Regardless, I really think you looked beautiful in your eng. pics.
Beth1210
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Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG) UPDATE page 2
Posted by Preshy7
i heart the engagement pic hair. the hilights and bangs- really beautiful
me too and I also love it really short- you have the face for it- not many people do!
MrsFelix
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Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG) UPDATE page 2
If short makes you happy then, CUT IT!!! I know you want to take your FH opinion into consideration and that's fine, but if you're this unhappy with your hair now, it'll only get worse as it gets closer to the day. If you want to appease him for now, cut it day of!! Do what makes you happy, because in turn he will be happy. I'm sure he doesn't want to deal with a bridezilla day of!!!
Either way, I think you'll be beautiful. Your dress is HOT!!! Good luck!!!!
JessicaM.
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Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG) UPDATE page 2
Goldi, there is one woman on this earth that rocks short hair almost as well as you do...
Ms. Charlize Theron. Here are some pics of short hair styles that I would knock anyone's socks off. do a Google Image search with her name for more.
first pic is not her (obviously) but a cute style.
the last one I LOVE and think would look fabulous on you with your dress
Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG) UPDATE page 2
THIS!!!!!!!!!!!
johnsae
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Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG) UPDATE page 2
how about considering extensions? I know it sounds ridiculous, but for one of my hair trials, the stylist put them in and it looked so natural....FH couldn't even tell. It just adds some length and could give you the look you are going for? just a suggestion. good luck!
Goldi1021
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Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG) UPDATE page 2
Your suggestions are great, but again I have to say I am anti-extension. I am also too fussy and do not want to deal with it. It is nothing more than a prosthetic device which, in my head, goes against the entire point of being who I am.
I am a firm believer of a bride looking nothing more than an extension of herself on a wedding day. I'd rather FEEL like a princess on the inside and will be treated as such simply by virtue of the fact that I am the bride. But I do not feel the need to have fancy 'bridal hair' or a poufy dress (which I don't). I just want to look like myself with just a little more make up, a little more style and the crown that sets me apart as a bride rather than a guest. I know the glow of excitement will show on my face on our wedding day. I suppose thats why with only three months until the wedding, I am not freaking out about make up trials - there are only SO many things you can do with a lipstick. I am rather uncomfortable with so much focus on myself (with FH too I know) to begin with.
johnsae
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Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG) UPDATE page 2
Posted by Goldi1021
Your suggestions are great, but again I have to say I am anti-extension. I am also too fussy and do not want to deal with it. It is nothing more than a prosthetic device which, in my head, goes against the entire point of being who I am.
I am a firm believer of a bride looking nothing more than an extension of herself on a wedding day. I'd rather FEEL like a princess on the inside and will be treated as such simply by virtue of the fact that I am the bride. But I do not feel the need to have fancy 'bridal hair' or a poufy dress (which I don't). I just want to look like myself with just a little more make up, a little more style and the crown that sets me apart as a bride rather than a guest. I know the glow of excitement will show on my face on our wedding day. I suppose thats why with only three months until the wedding, I am not freaking out about make up trials - there are only SO many things you can do with a lipstick. I am rather uncomfortable with so much focus on myself (with FH too I know) to begin with.
oops, sorry - didn't realize you already expressed your opinion about extensions on the first page!
Pmpkn087
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Re: Im not happy - The Hair Chronicles of an Anti- Bride...(LONG) UPDATE page 2
Posted by Goldi1021
Your suggestions are great, but again I have to say I am anti-extension. I am also too fussy and do not want to deal with it. It is nothing more than a prosthetic device which, in my head, goes against the entire point of being who I am.
I am a firm believer of a bride looking nothing more than an extension of herself on a wedding day. I'd rather FEEL like a princess on the inside and will be treated as such simply by virtue of the fact that I am the bride. But I do not feel the need to have fancy 'bridal hair' or a poufy dress (which I don't). I just want to look like myself with just a little more make up, a little more style and the crown that sets me apart as a bride rather than a guest. I know the glow of excitement will show on my face on our wedding day. I suppose thats why with only three months until the wedding, I am not freaking out about make up trials - there are only SO many things you can do with a lipstick. I am rather uncomfortable with so much focus on myself (with FH too I know) to begin with.
I have very short hair also, so I know where you are coming from. I had to grow it a little because I want to wear a veil. it is still very short, but the top has some length to it so that I can attach the comb with the veil. I know exactly how you feel. And, honestly, I think that you should do what you feel comfortable with. I have also tried to grow my hair longer and it is extremely frustrating (I too have thin, straight hair). My suggestion is to touch up your roots...maybe use a 'root booster' that's why my hair dresser calls it. When you get your headpiece, see if you can cut your hair but leave some length. I have attached a picture of how my hair looks now. This is long for me. You can't really see it, but the back is 'stacked'
ETA: I attached a second picture where you can see my whole head
