I'm Not That Into Getting Married

I'm Not That Into Getting Married

So I'm getting married next November. I'm really not in the mood for all this wedding planning, and I'm not excited about having a wedding. I'm already pissed b/c if I was having one, I wanted a small one, but the list is around 140, and there's so many months left, that FI will probably want to invite more people by then. My ideal thing would be to just elope. Or to get married somewhere far where only close people would come, so it'd be more limited on who would go. I know his mother is all into this wedding thing. I just don't know what to do anymore b/c I feel like I should be so happy, and I more just think of it as a day I have to get over with. And I don't have the money for it either. I don't know what to do.

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

Have you sat down with FH and had a talk with him about this? If not, I would do it PRONTO. Just remember that this wedding is for BOTH of you, so some compromise on both ends is needed. If you want a small wedding, and he wants a big one, than you should try to compromise on everything and meet somewhere in the middle. I dont' know how much this will help, but hopefully it does.

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

Sorry. I'm more just ranting. I'm upset, and I feel like I'm stuck doing some big thing now that I really don't want to do. And wishing I was with a guy who would just elope.

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

Not to be nit-picky, but there's a world of difference between saying you're not into getting married, and you're not into having a big wedding. I assume it's the big wedding thing that's bothering you more.

That said, could it be stress? The stress of planning and especially the financial stress can be overwhelming. Plus, the holidays are ALWAYS stressful, so maybe it's everything combined...but as soon as things quiet down you'll feel better.

I, too, originally wanted a tiny wedding. I hate being the center of attention and having people fuss over me. But the thought of spending a day with my friends and family - some of whom I haven't seen for YEARS - is just too exciting for me.

In the end, it's the marriage that matters, not the wedding.

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

I guess I mean having a big wedding. It's not even going to be just close friends and family, but many people I don't know. I haven't wanted to look into anything else now besides booking the reception hall and photographer. I am just not into it. This isn't my kind of thing. It was exciting at first, but now it just feels like a burden. Right now I would like to go wherever I'd have my honeymoon and get married there and close friends and family could come.

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

I mentioned that to his mother online before about having a destination wedding, and that it'd be limited with who'd come then, and she said we wouldn't get as much gifts then. I don't know if she was kidding or not.

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

Find a compromise where you are both happy. If you don't want the wedding and he does, let him plan it. Also, say you only want people in your life there. You need to pick and chose what is most important to you, pick and chose what is most important to him and that is how you decide what to do. You must also agree on $$ spent on the wedding.

Good luck.

I know w/FI and I that was our problem in the beginning. We kept changing our minds at different times about what kind of wedding we wanted. When I wanted destination he wanted big, when I wanted big he wanted destination. We figured it out though.

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

Yeah, I know. The only problem is I put our $1500 deposit down for our hall, and we have to guarantee 100. I guess if we can keep it as low as 100, then even that is small enough. I talked to him before on phone, and he said we'd figure something out.

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

Violet-- I plan to have 100 people too, we don't want a big wedding either. I mean what I said too, if there are things he wants and you don't, then he should research and plan them. Enjoy this time, it only happens once. Don't get overwhelmed w/the details.

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

Thanks, I'll tell him he better help me from now on if he wants this wedding.

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

You sound just like my FI

He is trying to get me to elope.. he keeps enticing me with spending ALL the money we would for a wedding and going on a HONEYMOON of my dreams. Can you imagine the honeymoon ?

But, for me, he is willing to 'sacrifice' and let me have MY wedding.

Maybe you should talk to you FI about this. If it means A LOT to him , and I mean A LOT, maybe you can do this for him. But if he is just doing it for his mother, maybe you can entice him with the like my fiance is Especially if you guys are the ones paying for the wedding.

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

I am having both-- a destination wedding with only close family (what we wanted), and a reception for friends and extended fam when we get back (what my parents wanted). Maybe this is something for you to consider, too. It is certainly not very economical, but everyone gets what they want.

The best part is - I am wearing my dress twice.

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

Thanks for the advice. Yeah, I'll have a long conversation with him later, and we'll see what we decide.

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

I just wanted to wish you good luck! You'll figure it out!

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

Well I am not hvaing a big wedding, thank God we both felt the same way. I am defintely loking forward to the honeymoon and the marriage more. I think you should defintely follow your heart.