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I'm Not That Into Getting Married

Original post by violet

So I'm getting married next November. I'm really not in the mood for all this wedding planning, and I'm not excited about having a wedding. I'm already pissed b/c if I was having one, I wanted a small one, but the list is around 140, and there's so many months left, that FI will probably want to invite more people by then. My ideal thing would be to just elope. Or to get married somewhere far where only close people would come, so it'd be more limited on who would go. I know his mother is all into this wedding thing. I just don't know what to do anymore b/c I feel like I should be so happy, and I more just think of it as a day I have to get over with. And I don't have the money for it either. I don't know what to do.

NYCHICK Posted:

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

wenndypoo Posted:

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

Hey Violet!
Your posts could have been written by me! I feel the same way about my wedding. I would've been happy with going to the JOP and out for chinese food! But I'm with one of those rare guys who actually wants the traditional wedding.
I'm not gonna lie, I've been planning this thing since January, and have been varying degress of miserable along the way, with occasional moments of excitement. The planning and financial worries have been stressful for me. It is the wedding, not the marriage, that I could do without, and alot of times people confuse the two, and that's a pain in the neck!

I'm doing it for him, plain and simple. It will make him happy, and that's whats keeping me going!

If you are really that unhappy about it, try to find a compromise with your FI. And make sure he helps!

And if you want to vent with another reluctant wedding planner, please, feel free to FM!

nrvbrd Posted:

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

You are not alone.

This is how I felt the ENTIRE time I was planning my wedding. I wanted to just elope, but my husband wanted a party, so for him I grinned and beared it.

I had a fabulous wedding, but if I could do it again I still would have eloped.

Xelindrya Posted:

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

Posted by violet

I guess I mean having a big wedding. It's not even going to be just close friends and family, but many people I don't know. I haven't wanted to look into anything else now besides booking the reception hall and photographer. I am just not into it. This isn't my kind of thing. It was exciting at first, but now it just feels like a burden. Right now I would like to go wherever I'd have my honeymoon and get married there and close friends and family could come.


Oh I completely understand this feeling. I still wonder how anyone is going to have a good time at my wedding.. so many empty chairs and half of the people (or more) won't know anyone but me or Jim. *shrug*


ETA: altho i must add.. we did elope! LOL
Our wedding is our one year anniversary present to eachother and for the family, friends and people we know to celebrate.
Bacardi527 Posted:

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

Do what you wanted to do all your life- plan for your dream wedding if thats a low key thing then do it- Good Luck in whatever you and FH decide- but dont do what others think you should do-
valentinesbride Posted:

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married


aww Violet, i felt like that for awhile...like 'what did i get myself into' we were supposed to have a small wedding but fh , wanted it to be 'tiny' like 10 people, and I just wanted my dearest friends there. So now we are getting married at a Castle lol go figure...but they want a min of 200 people...so now earth and a few planets are invited. Now I am a bit happier mostly because i want to be surrounded by my best friends that live on the west coast...and be marrying my best friend. However, I do want the day to come, and I AM NOT FOND OF THE PLANNING ...my fh's coworkers wanted to know why i wasn't more excited ? lol oh well, nothing fun about getting extravagant quotes for flowers, music and photographers...All I can say , is treat yourself during this time...focus on the people you can't wait to spend the day with ...and shut the rest out :) Hey 'shutting' things out always works for guys :)
anyone want a beer and a seat on the couch for the football game ? lol
jess2504 Posted:

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

While I want a big wedding, I can certainly understand your feelings, and I too get tired of getting pricey quotes and thinking of all the money I have to save. I definitely get sick of planning, and I am not as enthusiastic about this as I always thought I would be. Definitely talk to your FI, maybe he could help you do more planning, or lower your budget.

aliciahelene Posted:

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

I hear ya with this wedding crap!!!! I would have been thrilled to elope..I never dreamt of my wedding day, I was in no hurry., I love my fiance and he wants the wedding, we are having a small wedding though which Im thrilled about, but weddings are stressful, expensive and cause porblems unnecessarily, I feel the same way about my wedding, I love my fiance, want to be a wife, but really just want to get to my honeymoon and back to my regular life. He wanted the wedding, but guess who planned it all? ME..I want to never look at another bridal book again!!!!!
I am sure that once my day gets here..Ill be very happy, but up until then, this stress is killing me!!!! I wish you the best of luck, and if ya ever need to vent...Fm me..Im great to vent with!!!
violet Posted:

Re: I'm Not That Into Getting Married

Thanks for everyone's advice, and I'm glad some people feel/felt the same way. I look forward to the honeymoon and marriage, but I just don't care about the wedding! All I think is all this money I have to save for this one day could have just as well gone towards a house. I guess, from now on with the things I haven't booked, I am going to be very cheap. I got my photographer, I got my gown at a decent price, and I'm shelling out more money to have shrimp at my reception, so from now on, I'm going to look for the cheapest deal, and that's that. Except for the honeymoon, I so wish all this money could just go towards Tahiti.

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