I'm reading a book that I think will change my life. (VERY LONG!!!)

Let me give a bit of background information.

FH was married before. I will not go into the personal details of his marriage, I will only say that it was a very unhappy marriage and they were in no way right for each other.

I met his ex-wife's best friend this weekend. A little more background. One of his friends and his ex-wife's friend met at FH's first wedding, got together, and are now unbelievably happily married with a 14 month old son.

FH only recently began speaking to the husband, after not speaking to them since before he and his wife split up.

So, as you can imagine, it was very nerve wracking and hard for me to meet his ex's best friend. Well, she is an absolute doll and I am sure that I have made a new friend.

I spent a great deal of the night Saturday listening to a lot of the troubles FH had in his first marriage, which may sound very strange to you girls, but, it didn't bother me, and, it was almost therapeutic to listen to all of these things that went wrong, to not only ensure that they don't happen again, but, it made me feel good that I know I will be a good wife.

So, while I was talking to her, she said to me, 'You are going to have a great marriage, and you are going to be a great wife. There is this book I want you to read, I read it three times a year and I give it to everyone when they get married.' Needless to say, I was intrigued.

On our way home yesterday, we stopped at Barnes and Noble and I bought the book. It's called, 'The Proper Caring and Feeding of Husbands,' by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. I'm about 1/3 of the way through the book. It is an amazing book. You have to read it with an open mind, but, it basically talks about how you have to keep your hapiness in your control, and, it teaches you how to be a good wife, put your husband first, and get what you want without being a b1tch.

hey amanda! soething else we have in commo..my fh was married before also...

although i haven't met any of his exes best friends.. lol. all of his best friends have no problem telling me how horrible their marriage was and how great i am for him..

i normally say.. 'I know.. i am right!!'




i'm gonna have to look for that book!!

Definitely!

FH has very few really good friends, and, they don't say anything, but, FH's family has definitely said A LOT to me..... lol.

It is such a good book. Really common sense, but, it really opened my eyes!!!

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Posted by FutureMrs.T

How do we get a book about 'The Proper Caring and Feeding of Wives'?

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my thoughts exactly

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Posted by FutureMrs.T

How do we get a book about 'The Proper Caring and Feeding of Wives'?

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See, that's the thing. It sounds so corny, but, the book teaches you about how to control your happiness.

Let me just give you girls an example.

How often do you have to ask FH to do things??? Do you nag about them??? I know I do, all the time.

The next time you need the garbage taken out, ask FH once, and leave it by the door. When he does take it out, say to him, 'Thanks so much, I really appreciate when you take the trash out because it's one less thing for me to do, or, it' hard for me to take the trash out, because the bag is heavy and hurts my arm...' whatever, the point is, praise them when they do good, instead of nagging them.

Men are very simple. Men want to be made to feel important, they want to know that you appreciate them. They want to be praised.

When we got home last night, I asked FH to help me unpack our luggage. FH helped. Afterwards, I said, 'Thank you for helping me unpack, when you help me, it gets done faster and it's one less thing I have to do.' AFTER I said this, FH got all teary, and hugged me, and said, 'I know it's just the book you're reading, but, thank you so much....'

He then got up, went out to the living room, and left himself a post-it on the front door to take out the trash. He has NEVER done that.

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Posted by AmandaLynn04

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Posted by FutureMrs.T

How do we get a book about 'The Proper Caring and Feeding of Wives'?

---

See, that's the thing. It sounds so corny, but, the book teaches you about how to control your happiness.

Let me just give you girls an example.

How often do you have to ask FH to do things??? Do you nag about them??? I know I do, all the time.

The next time you need the garbage taken out, ask FH once, and leave it by the door. When he does take it out, say to him, 'Thanks so much, I really appreciate when you take the trash out because it's one less thing for me to do, or, it' hard for me to take the trash out, because the bag is heavy and hurts my arm...' whatever, the point is, praise them when they do good, instead of nagging them.

Men are very simple. Men want to be made to feel important, they want to know that you appreciate them. They want to be praised.

When we got home last night, I asked FH to help me unpack our luggage. FH helped. Afterwards, I said, 'Thank you for helping me unpack, when you help me, it gets done faster and it's one less thing I have to do.' AFTER I said this, FH got all teary, and hugged me, and said, 'I know it's just the book you're reading, but, thank you so much....'

He then got up, went out to the living room, and left himself a post-it on the front door to take out the trash. He has NEVER done that.

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That's so interesting. I read another book (can't think of the name) that discussed a similar theory and it truly works. Men love to feel needed and important, especially by the woman they love.

Good find. I'll have to pick it up the next time I go to the bookstore!

My grandma presented me with this book at my RD!!!!!!!!!!

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Posted by Katie&Chris2006

My grandma presented me with this book at my RD!!!!!!!!!!

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Do you absolutely love it?

This sounds interesting. Thanks for sharing. I may pick it up today....

that's really interesting b/c i recently adopted this philosophy without even hearing of this book and i can attest, it really does work! every time FH helps with something or cleans something i always thank him and tell him how much it means to me, and give him a big hug. and in turn, he helps MORE! it's great, and it makes me feel good to tell him what a good job he's doing b/c i know that makes HIM feel good!

amanda, what other kinds of things does the book help with? knowing that one of the suggestions works, this book sounds like it is totally worth reading!!

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Posted by AmandaLynn04

Let me give a bit of background information.

FH was married before. I will not go into the personal details of his marriage, I will only say that it was a very unhappy marriage and they were in no way right for each other.

I met his ex-wife's best friend this weekend. A little more background. One of his friends and his ex-wife's friend met at FH's first wedding, got together, and are now unbelievably happily married with a 14 month old son.

FH only recently began speaking to the husband, after not speaking to them since before he and his wife split up.

So, as you can imagine, it was very nerve wracking and hard for me to meet his ex's best friend. Well, she is an absolute doll and I am sure that I have made a new friend.

I spent a great deal of the night Saturday listening to a lot of the troubles FH had in his first marriage, which may sound very strange to you girls, but, it didn't bother me, and, it was almost therapeutic to listen to all of these things that went wrong, to not only ensure that they don't happen again, but, it made me feel good that I know I will be a good wife.

So, while I was talking to her, she said to me, 'You are going to have a great marriage, and you are going to be a great wife. There is this book I want you to read, I read it three times a year and I give it to everyone when they get married.' Needless to say, I was intrigued.

On our way home yesterday, we stopped at Barnes and Noble and I bought the book. It's called, 'The Proper Caring and Feeding of Husbands,' by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. I'm about 1/3 of the way through the book. It is an amazing book. You have to read it with an open mind, but, it basically talks about how you have to keep your hapiness in your control, and, it teaches you how to be a good wife, put your husband first, and get what you want without being a b1tch.

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This is a great book !!! Dr. Laura is also on XM radio 166 and i listen to her religiously. She has so many great points and it really is true what she says. Enjoy your read!

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Posted by JeanetteandSteve

that's really interesting b/c i recently adopted this philosophy without even hearing of this book and i can attest, it really does work! every time FH helps with something or cleans something i always thank him and tell him how much it means to me, and give him a big hug. and in turn, he helps MORE! it's great, and it makes me feel good to tell him what a good job he's doing b/c i know that makes HIM feel good!

amanda, what other kinds of things does the book help with? knowing that one of the suggestions works, this book sounds like it is totally worth reading!!

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Well, I am only in chapter 3..... the first chapter focused on the bad, the second focused on how to begin to not be a nag... etc. So, once I am finished I will definitely give a full report.

It's really basic common sense stuff, but, it definitely makes you look at the way you do things and react to things, and helps you make little changes for the better.

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Posted by ant n tilde

i am going to order this and Dr. Oz's book right now!

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tilde - you have XM right.. you should totally listen to her.. ch. 166 from 3-6

i will get it to read but REFUSE to read it on the train...haha

but glad u are ok with all of that and listening to what went wrong. you are a strong girl...

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Posted by AmandaLynn04

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Posted by FutureMrs.T

How do we get a book about 'The Proper Caring and Feeding of Wives'?

---

See, that's the thing. It sounds so corny, but, the book teaches you about how to control your happiness.

Let me just give you girls an example.

How often do you have to ask FH to do things??? Do you nag about them??? I know I do, all the time.

The next time you need the garbage taken out, ask FH once, and leave it by the door. When he does take it out, say to him, 'Thanks so much, I really appreciate when you take the trash out because it's one less thing for me to do, or, it' hard for me to take the trash out, because the bag is heavy and hurts my arm...' whatever, the point is, praise them when they do good, instead of nagging them.

Men are very simple. Men want to be made to feel important, they want to know that you appreciate them. They want to be praised.

When we got home last night, I asked FH to help me unpack our luggage. FH helped. Afterwards, I said, 'Thank you for helping me unpack, when you help me, it gets done faster and it's one less thing I have to do.' AFTER I said this, FH got all teary, and hugged me, and said, 'I know it's just the book you're reading, but, thank you so much....'

He then got up, went out to the living room, and left himself a post-it on the front door to take out the trash. He has NEVER done that.

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It's good advice but whenever I get advice it's always think about his feelings and look at it from his point of view.

Would I benefit from advice like you just mentioned? Yes. But I think men would benefit from books like this too. Like 'if you want to feel important, when she asks you to take out the garbage, just do it before she starts to nag. Don't let the bag rot in your kitchen before you take it out because then you won't have to replace the floors. I hear she has her eyes on cherry hardwood floors...'

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Posted by ant n tilde

i am going to order this and Dr. Oz's book right now!

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OMG I love Dr. Oz!!!!!

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Posted by jgl

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Posted by ant n tilde

i am going to order this and Dr. Oz's book right now!

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tilde - you have XM right.. you should totally listen to her.. ch. 166 from 3-6

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yeah i remember you told me about it once before but i never listened - now i am programming it into my presets! lol