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I'm reading a book that I think will change my life. (VERY LONG!!!)

Original post by AmandaLynn04

Let me give a bit of background information.

FH was married before. I will not go into the personal details of his marriage, I will only say that it was a very unhappy marriage and they were in no way right for each other.

I met his ex-wife's best friend this weekend. A little more background. One of his friends and his ex-wife's friend met at FH's first wedding, got together, and are now unbelievably happily married with a 14 month old son.

FH only recently began speaking to the husband, after not speaking to them since before he and his wife split up.

So, as you can imagine, it was very nerve wracking and hard for me to meet his ex's best friend. Well, she is an absolute doll and I am sure that I have made a new friend.

I spent a great deal of the night Saturday listening to a lot of the troubles FH had in his first marriage, which may sound very strange to you girls, but, it didn't bother me, and, it was almost therapeutic to listen to all of these things that went wrong, to not only ensure that they don't happen again, but, it made me feel good that I know I will be a good wife.

So, while I was talking to her, she said to me, 'You are going to have a great marriage, and you are going to be a great wife. There is this book I want you to read, I read it three times a year and I give it to everyone when they get married.' Needless to say, I was intrigued.

On our way home yesterday, we stopped at Barnes and Noble and I bought the book. It's called, 'The Proper Caring and Feeding of Husbands,' by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. I'm about 1/3 of the way through the book. It is an amazing book. You have to read it with an open mind, but, it basically talks about how you have to keep your hapiness in your control, and, it teaches you how to be a good wife, put your husband first, and get what you want without being a b1tch.



jgl Posted:

Re: I'm reading a book that I think will change my life. (VERY LONG!!!)

some of you wont like her

she is also big on a mother shouldnt work if she has young children at home

that woman and men with children from prev marriages SHOULD NOT get married again until their children are at least 18,

Oh and she is against 'shacking up' before marriage!
AmandaLynn04 Posted:

Re: I'm reading a book that I think will change my life. (VERY LONG!!!)

Posted by jgl

some of you wont like her

she is also big on a mother shouldnt work if she has young children at home

that woman and men with children from prev marriages SHOULD NOT get married again until their children are at least 18,

Oh and she is against 'shacking up' before marriage!

Very true...... you definitely have to read her with an open mind..... she's really anti-feminist..... it's just good advice, despite her personal beliefs.
Autumn08 Posted:

Re: I'm reading a book that I think will change my life. (VERY LONG!!!)

Posted by jgl

some of you wont like her

she is also big on a mother shouldnt work if she has young children at home

that woman and men with children from prev marriages SHOULD NOT get married again until their children are at least 18,

Oh and she is against 'shacking up' before marriage!


If I had the money I wouldn't work when I had children. But that doesn't seem possible.
AmandaLynn04 Posted:

Re: I'm reading a book that I think will change my life. (VERY LONG!!!)

Posted by Jesses Girl

i will get it to read but REFUSE to read it on the train...haha

but glad u are ok with all of that and listening to what went wrong. you are a strong girl...


Thanks..... that's what they all kept saying! I had also already heard so much of what went wrong, it didn't bother me to hear it again. It was really good to hear these things from a 3rd party too, because, as much as I believe everything FH has told me, there are more than one side to every story!!!
jgl Posted:

Re: I'm reading a book that I think will change my life. (VERY LONG!!!)

Posted by Autumn08

Posted by jgl

some of you wont like her

she is also big on a mother shouldnt work if she has young children at home

that woman and men with children from prev marriages SHOULD NOT get married again until their children are at least 18,

Oh and she is against 'shacking up' before marriage!


If I had the money I wouldn't work when I had children. But that doesn't seem possible.


true - but i guess in her opinion you make sacrafises if that is what you are really determined to do. She feels daycare workers shouldnt be raising your children...
ant n tilde Posted:

Re: I'm reading a book that I think will change my life. (VERY LONG!!!)

Posted by AmandaLynn04

Posted by jgl

some of you wont like her

she is also big on a mother shouldnt work if she has young children at home

that woman and men with children from prev marriages SHOULD NOT get married again until their children are at least 18,

Oh and she is against 'shacking up' before marriage!

Very true...... you definitely have to read her with an open mind..... she's really anti-feminist..... it's just good advice, despite her personal beliefs.


yay i am so anti feminist - i rarely find people i agree with - awesome lol
SAMORY Posted:

Re: I'm reading a book that I think will change my life. (VERY LONG!!!)

That is a very good idea. I am about to read this book called blue prints to marriage. So I understand why you spoke to the girl. I just talk to FH best friends about his ex wife. But I would love to speak to a women and really hear what happened.

EverlovingEv Posted:

Re: I'm reading a book that I think will change my life. (VERY LONG!!!)

Posted by Autumn08


Would I benefit from advice like you just mentioned? Yes. But I think men would benefit from books like this too. Like 'if you want to feel important, when she asks you to take out the garbage, just do it before she starts to nag. Don't let the bag rot in your kitchen before you take it out because then you won't have to replace the floors. I hear she has her eyes on cherry hardwood floors...'


Yes! I completely agree with this.
Espo22 Posted:

Re: I'm reading a book that I think will change my life. (VERY LONG!!!)

Posted by AmandaLynn04

Posted by FutureMrs.T

How do we get a book about 'The Proper Caring and Feeding of Wives'?


See, that's the thing. It sounds so corny, but, the book teaches you about how to control your happiness.

Let me just give you girls an example.

How often do you have to ask FH to do things??? Do you nag about them??? I know I do, all the time.

The next time you need the garbage taken out, ask FH once, and leave it by the door. When he does take it out, say to him, 'Thanks so much, I really appreciate when you take the trash out because it's one less thing for me to do, or, it' hard for me to take the trash out, because the bag is heavy and hurts my arm...' whatever, the point is, praise them when they do good, instead of nagging them.

Men are very simple. Men want to be made to feel important, they want to know that you appreciate them. They want to be praised.

When we got home last night, I asked FH to help me unpack our luggage. FH helped. Afterwards, I said, 'Thank you for helping me unpack, when you help me, it gets done faster and it's one less thing I have to do.' AFTER I said this, FH got all teary, and hugged me, and said, 'I know it's just the book you're reading, but, thank you so much....'

He then got up, went out to the living room, and left himself a post-it on the front door to take out the trash. He has NEVER done that.


i should give this book to FH lol...im the one who is bad with some of these things...overall im good but he is OCD so to him a glass cant sit in the sink for a few mins, it has to be done right away. Clothes folded a certain way and things like that...The good thing though is that he does it himself and doesn't expect others to do it. If it bothers him that theres something in the sink he'll wash it himself. I know how he likes his clothes folded but its just a thing that he has to do it himself and hey i have no problem with that hahahaha.

I am obsessive when it comes to dust and things like that, i like to sanitize everything and Fh is obsessive about things being in a certain order so we'll each do what we prefer lol.

Can I just say that sometimes it really is annoying when people nag and it makes you NOT want to do it, just a piece of advice. Fh doesn't really do it bc he'll do it himself...but in my house it was so annoying, if i left something small in the living room and ask me to take it out thats fine but if i say hold on im finishing something, don't get annoyed about it that its not done then and there and if someone is gonna cause all this drama for something so small it gets me annoyed lol...NOT talking about anyone in particular on here just examples of specific people i know.
Espo22 Posted:

Re: I'm reading a book that I think will change my life. (VERY LONG!!!)

Posted by Autumn08

Posted by AmandaLynn04

Posted by FutureMrs.T

How do we get a book about 'The Proper Caring and Feeding of Wives'?


See, that's the thing. It sounds so corny, but, the book teaches you about how to control your happiness.

Let me just give you girls an example.

How often do you have to ask FH to do things??? Do you nag about them??? I know I do, all the time.

The next time you need the garbage taken out, ask FH once, and leave it by the door. When he does take it out, say to him, 'Thanks so much, I really appreciate when you take the trash out because it's one less thing for me to do, or, it' hard for me to take the trash out, because the bag is heavy and hurts my arm...' whatever, the point is, praise them when they do good, instead of nagging them.

Men are very simple. Men want to be made to feel important, they want to know that you appreciate them. They want to be praised.

When we got home last night, I asked FH to help me unpack our luggage. FH helped. Afterwards, I said, 'Thank you for helping me unpack, when you help me, it gets done faster and it's one less thing I have to do.' AFTER I said this, FH got all teary, and hugged me, and said, 'I know it's just the book you're reading, but, thank you so much....'

He then got up, went out to the living room, and left himself a post-it on the front door to take out the trash. He has NEVER done that.


It's good advice but whenever I get advice it's always think about his feelings and look at it from his point of view.

Would I benefit from advice like you just mentioned? Yes. But I think men would benefit from books like this too. Like 'if you want to feel important, when she asks you to take out the garbage, just do it before she starts to nag. Don't let the bag rot in your kitchen before you take it out because then you won't have to replace the floors. I hear she has her eyes on cherry hardwood floors...'


OR even better, do it without her even asking to do it. Show that you actually thought about it yourself to help her out and make her feel special

futuremrsfab Posted:

Re: I'm reading a book that I think will change my life. (VERY LONG!!!)

thanks amanda- just ordered it from Barnes & Noble!

ChristineAaron08 Posted:

Re: I'm reading a book that I think will change my life. (VERY LONG!!!)

Posted by Autumn08

Posted by AmandaLynn04

Posted by FutureMrs.T

How do we get a book about 'The Proper Caring and Feeding of Wives'?


See, that's the thing. It sounds so corny, but, the book teaches you about how to control your happiness.

Let me just give you girls an example.

How often do you have to ask FH to do things??? Do you nag about them??? I know I do, all the time.

The next time you need the garbage taken out, ask FH once, and leave it by the door. When he does take it out, say to him, 'Thanks so much, I really appreciate when you take the trash out because it's one less thing for me to do, or, it' hard for me to take the trash out, because the bag is heavy and hurts my arm...' whatever, the point is, praise them when they do good, instead of nagging them.

Men are very simple. Men want to be made to feel important, they want to know that you appreciate them. They want to be praised.

When we got home last night, I asked FH to help me unpack our luggage. FH helped. Afterwards, I said, 'Thank you for helping me unpack, when you help me, it gets done faster and it's one less thing I have to do.' AFTER I said this, FH got all teary, and hugged me, and said, 'I know it's just the book you're reading, but, thank you so much....'

He then got up, went out to the living room, and left himself a post-it on the front door to take out the trash. He has NEVER done that.


It's good advice but whenever I get advice it's always think about his feelings and look at it from his point of view.

Would I benefit from advice like you just mentioned? Yes. But I think men would benefit from books like this too. Like 'if you want to feel important, when she asks you to take out the garbage, just do it before she starts to nag. Don't let the bag rot in your kitchen before you take it out because then you won't have to replace the floors. I hear she has her eyes on cherry hardwood floors...'



(Like 'if you want to feel important, when she asks you to take out the garbage, just do it before she starts to nag. Don't let the bag rot in your kitchen before you take it out )...- that is my theory....LOL
ChristineAaron08 Posted:

Re: I'm reading a book that I think will change my life. (VERY LONG!!!)

I am intrigued. I have to try the garbage thing. If it works, I will buy the book.

Well whatta ya know- tonight is garbage night- haha. I was gonna just do it myself, but lets put it to the test. haha

After I praise him. I know I will get 'oh, shut up- leave me alone'
TrueLoveIn2008 Posted:

Re: I'm reading a book that I think will change my life. (VERY LONG!!!)

You know, I often ask him to do things and when he does I give him a little thank you or I say nothing .... silly me .... I will try to thank him more. :) I am sure he would like it.

AmandaLynn04 Posted:

Re: I'm reading a book that I think will change my life. (VERY LONG!!!)

Posted by futuremrsfab

thanks amanda- just ordered it from Barnes & Noble!

Sure! Let me know what you think of it.
ant n tilde Posted:

Re: I'm reading a book that I think will change my life. (VERY LONG!!!)

Posted by jgl

Posted by ant n tilde

i am going to order this and Dr. Oz's book right now!


tilde - you have XM right.. you should totally listen to her.. ch. 166 from 3-6


i listened to some of it! i really liked her

i mean she needs to work on her 'radio skills' but i love her theories!
Kimbalina Posted:

Re: I'm reading a book that I think will change my life. (VERY LONG!!!)

Amanda! Thank you for the reccomendation! I looove to read! So I will pick that one up!

AmandaLynn04 Posted:

Re: I'm reading a book that I think will change my life. (VERY LONG!!!)

Posted by Kimbalina

Amanda! Thank you for the reccomendation! I looove to read! So I will pick that one up!

Let me know what you think!
JimmysPants Posted:

Re: I'm reading a book that I think will change my life. (VERY LONG!!!)

IM GETTING IT TOMORROW!! THANKS

jgl Posted:

Re: I'm reading a book that I think will change my life. (VERY LONG!!!)

Posted by ant n tilde

Posted by jgl

Posted by ant n tilde

i am going to order this and Dr. Oz's book right now!


tilde - you have XM right.. you should totally listen to her.. ch. 166 from 3-6


i listened to some of it! i really liked her

i mean she needs to work on her 'radio skills' but i love her theories!


oh good im glad..

yea she is a hard @$$ and doesnt take sh!t and she will be nasty and rude as can be but her points and theories are great

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