I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

radiostar Posted: Feb 19, 2003 10:36 PM

I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

Tonight, one of my bridemaids called me and told me that immediately after the ceremony, she would like to change clothes. Her excuse was, 'I don't want to be cold'. She also explained that she will make sure that whatever she changes into will be black. (I'm having an evening wedding, indoors. My colors are black & silver)

The BM dresses that I chose have spaghetti straps.

I'm in limbo about how I'm supposed to feel. Am I supposed to be upset that she has just added to my plate of concerns?? Or should I be concerned at all? What a strange thing to request.

Comments??

jennbaby Posted: Feb 19, 2003 10:38 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

Boy thats some nerve! Ask her to get a shawl or a jacket made to match her dress.
Cold In September? Where do you live in Alaska?

radiostar Posted: Feb 19, 2003 10:39 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

The dresses COME with shawls!!!!!!!!

Ok, so I'm supposed to be upset, right???

jennbaby Posted: Feb 19, 2003 10:42 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

It all depends will YOU be upset?
see I would but that's me, sorry I am not much help for you

cw0904 Posted: Feb 19, 2003 10:42 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

umm that is like slapping you right in the face!
She is kidding right?
Does she NOT like the dress you chose for them to wear?

karen32 Posted: Feb 19, 2003 10:43 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

I would be upset. She should be honored that you asked her to hold such an important role on your wedding day!!! I could see if she asked to maybe slip into some more comfy shoes - but to change out of the BM dress??? I don't think so!!!!

SomedayBride Posted: Feb 19, 2003 10:47 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

Yikes! I would definitely be upset. What is she going to change into, a sweatshirt? Even if she changes into another dress, most dresses that I've worn to weddings recently, even in the winter, have been sleeveless. Tell her to just wear the shawl. She really has a lot of nerve!

radiostar Posted: Feb 19, 2003 10:47 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

LOL! You know what Jenn?? Thanks to the guidance on this board, I've recently made up my mind to try accept the fact that most people don't actually see things through the eyes of a bride to be. After reading many of the posts on my 'MY BM STINKS' thread . . .I thought that it would probably be best to take a lot of stuff with a grain of salt. BUT...just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water, your bridesmaid calls you with foolishness such as this.

I don't know what to feel!! It is a minor thing?? Or should I tell her, 'LOOK B*TCH, 4 HOURS IS ALL I'M ASKING OF YOU. WEAR THE DAMN DRESS AND SHUT UP!!!'

What do you think??

Marcela1654 Posted: Feb 19, 2003 10:51 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

I would probably be more hurt than mad. Edited to say that I would tell her to wear the dress and shutup

Suz Posted: Feb 19, 2003 10:57 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

I would definitely be upset too. To me, its an honor to be asked to stand up for a couple as they enter into marriage. To not want to wear the dress the whole night is a slap in the face and completely against what being in a wedding is all about.

avesur Posted: Feb 19, 2003 11:00 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

Is she a tennis shoes and jeans girl? I know that if I had asked a friend of mine that is that style, she had been miserable wearing a formal dress. Just try to talk to hear why she wants to change. Good luck!

prncssrachel Posted: Feb 19, 2003 11:02 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

Most dresses come with wraps, and they are actually very in-style these days. Tell her to **** it up.....some people!

balilove Posted: Feb 19, 2003 11:03 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

If one of my BM's made a request like that I would be upset. Something just seems so odd about the request...the wedding is in September, most reasonable people would bring a sweater or jacket if they were concerned with being cold in the AC but, change clothes??? And if you are dancing at a wedding you tend to get hot. I'd tell her to get a jacket to go with the dress but, the call is yours.

MISHY Posted: Feb 19, 2003 11:33 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

I would talk to her and ask her if she feels comfortable in the dress, maybe she is self-concious? Tell her how you feel about her changing..

tarakinspa Posted: Feb 19, 2003 11:34 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

I think that the fact of her being uncomforatble or self concious might be the issue, I would talk to her about it.

Claud2001 Posted: Feb 20, 2003 12:17 AM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

I think it's very wrong of her to even ask you this. It is an honor to be someone's bridesmaid, and she is being rude! However, I think you should ask her if she's uncomfortable in the dress. Perhaps she could choose an alternate style in the same material/color that would be more suitable to her personal style and comfort?

One of my BM's was very self-concious in the dress that I chose. But, instead of making an issue out of it before the wedding, she ****ed it up on the wedding day, and after all the formal pics were taken, she asked me if I would mind if she put a light sweater on over the dress. And you know what? I couldn't have cared less at that point...I just wanted everyone to be happy and enjoy my celebration!

dkga1026 Posted: Feb 20, 2003 12:48 AM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

Yes, I would be mad. I never understood people who balked at strapless or spaghetti strap dresses in winter/fall. As long as the material is appropriate, there is nothing wrong with this. Not many formal and elegant gowns have long sleeves. Evening wear is not meant to keep you warm, a coat should keep you warm. A gown is meant to look pretty, classic and elegant. I would insist that she not change. It's just plain rude! I think she can manage for one night.

maysie18 Posted: Feb 20, 2003 02:10 AM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

Radiostar, altho I would get upset over that (yes I think you have a right) I'd talk w/BM, cuz Black is a very forgiving color for anyone. Personally (altho I feel really bad now after the fact) I dropped outta 2 weddings cuz I was self conscious about how I'd look in the dress chosen.

I told both brides the truth up front, 1 understood & asked me to be her personal attendant & let me choose a dress I was comfy in in her colors, the other (a cousin) got real upset & we hardly spoke for awhile. If she'll have a shawl I don't see why she'd need to change completely cuz then she'll just look like another guest. But I would def prefer she keep on her BM dress too!

wacky Posted: Feb 20, 2003 06:27 AM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

WHAT?????????????? People are so weird. Tell her no, JMO

jpsgirl Posted: Feb 20, 2003 07:30 AM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

there will still be many pics of the bp at the hal/reception and she should stay in her dress. she should stay in her dress, even if it is pink and knee length with no straps, this day is about YOU not HER, she needs to get over herself!