I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

Original post by radiostar

Feb 19, 2003 10:36 PM

Tonight, one of my bridemaids called me and told me that immediately after the ceremony, she would like to change clothes. Her excuse was, 'I don't want to be cold'. She also explained that she will make sure that whatever she changes into will be black. (I'm having an evening wedding, indoors. My colors are black & silver)

The BM dresses that I chose have spaghetti straps.

I'm in limbo about how I'm supposed to feel. Am I supposed to be upset that she has just added to my plate of concerns?? Or should I be concerned at all? What a strange thing to request.

Comments??

dcbride Posted: Feb 20, 2003 12:15 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

I have told my friends that it is 'My wedding and I can make them wear whatever I want.' I am just joking of course but if they said that to me it would no longer be a joke. I have never heard of something so stupid in my life-- what does she plan on changing into?

NuBride Posted: Feb 20, 2003 12:21 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

WHAT??????????? Hey I used to shake my a$$ in the clubs before I got married with practically no clothes..in the dead middle of winter!!!

She obviously doesn't like the dress and should of been honest from the beginning...I'd make her stick it out and wear the dress. The nerve!!!

Scoop Posted: Feb 20, 2003 12:24 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

I would suggest she wear the shall first or at least wait until after introductions. If you see she is still uncomfortable, I wouldn't make a big deal about it. It is your wedding day and I'm sure you will have other things on your mind.

The nerve of some people. I would never dream of making any kind of requests.

Valenia Posted: Feb 20, 2003 12:33 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

I guess I'm the pushover of the crowd. I think its fair to insist on a certain dress for photos and the ceremony, but for the reception I'd be more concerned about my friend being comfortable and having fun. While I agree it was a strange/rude request, I don't really see why it should matter what she wore for the reception.

WeDidIt! Posted: Feb 20, 2003 12:37 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

Tell her to wear a shawl and drink a cup of hot chocolate! Give me a break!

There are several pictures that will be taken during the reception. So, I would tell her that is not an option. I know that you have to let some things go, but I believe this is not one to let go. She is being ridiculous.

Can you tell that I have had it with some of my bridesmaids????!!!!!!

Edited for spelling corrections

WishCandy Posted: Feb 20, 2003 12:46 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

You need to slap her! The Nerve of some people!!! how can she change during the reception - she will be in the pictures, no? She's gonna look so stupid in them if she changes. Ask her how she expects to be in the pics/video and not be wearing what the other girls are wearing.

radiostar Posted: Feb 20, 2003 12:47 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

Hey girls . . .

Thanks for the responses! I obviously have reached a point in my wedding planning process to pick and choose what to get ****ed about. Congratulate me. I am officially MAD!!!

I have done EVERYTHING to ensure my the experience for my bms will be painless and INEXPENSIVE as possible. I am getting a hair and makeup for all 7 of them! I chose one of the most inexpensive dresses that I possibly could to be considerate of their pockets!!!!!!!

Let this be a lesson to all of you! No matter HOW hard you try to help people out - - -they will SEARCH for something to complain about! I guess she's not really complaining . . .she's trying to be 'easy' on me. This just aint right. ((shaking my head))

radiostar Posted: Feb 20, 2003 12:59 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

Ok, I just re-read some of your responses. You girls are HILARIOUS!

Please allow me to share some more facts:

*She hasn't even bought the dress yet!

*She's only looked at the picture.

*She actually has been the most helpful and supporting to me so far.

Sometimes I wish that I had never had bridesmaids. It's too much stress.

Tammy5-03 Posted: Feb 20, 2003 02:21 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

I've already said that I think this request is so stupid. However, to give her the benefit of the doubt, I know a lot of people who are clueless about weddings. One of my BMs has been to ONE wedding in her life, she's 29. She drives me crazy but I have to remind myself that she probably doesn't know whats required. Maybe she just needs a list of what you expect of her so she doesn't ask you foolishness like that again.

shelzyp Posted: Feb 20, 2003 02:33 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

Maybe she can get sleeve put on the dress instead if she really thinks she is going to be cold.

Even though if it was my i would say you are weraing what I tell you to wear!

Julybaby Posted: Feb 20, 2003 03:18 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

Does this BM realize that this request is a bit strange, rude, and is making you angry? I would be concerned in the beginning of the reception because that's when the BP is introduced and a lot of pictures are taken. Does she have a pashmina shawl (even a $5 fake one)? I went to a wedding in January, wore a dress with spaghetti straps with a pashmina shawl and was nice and warm. Maybe that's a suggestion for her.

alina Posted: Feb 20, 2003 03:31 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

radiostar, if the dress is not ordered yet, can she order a warmer version of a similar dress? Now I am really confused as to what the problem is: either she is clueless or she really hates the dress.

But it sounds like she is clueless, and may be dying to wear some other dress that she already owns?

Diane Posted: Feb 20, 2003 05:02 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

I think that is bad idea, and veruy inconsiderate of her

radiostar Posted: Feb 20, 2003 05:10 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

I hate to draw my own conclusions . . .but, I think that she may be a little self-conscious about the spaghetti straps. She's not overweight...just a little fluffy.

But, that's why I chose BLACK...(for my fluffy girls) AND chose a dress with a shawl.

I think a may take a combination of things that have been said on this thread, a compose an e-mail asking her to please wear the dress.

Have any of you ladies ever felt like screaming, 'WHY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

nlp Posted: Feb 20, 2003 05:24 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

I understand you being upset because it just adds unnecessary worry. But in all honesty I was going to suggest this to one of my BMs because I know that she is a little uncomfortable with the dress. I know her very well, well enough to know that she would never voice her concerns to me. She wants to make sure that I'm stress free and will wear anything to make me happy. In return I want to make sure she is comfortable. It may be our day but we need to understand that when a person, especially a woman, feels unattractive it can make that person very miserable.

radiostar Posted: Feb 20, 2003 05:36 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

NLP WROTE: I understand you being upset because it just adds unnecessary worry.

You can say THAT again!

The only thing is, if I make special provisions for her, then I'm going to have to do it for everybody! I'm afraid that doing that for her is going to cause a domino effect and then instead of ONE problem, I'll suddenly have 7.

*sigh*