I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

Original post by radiostar

Feb 19, 2003 10:36 PM

Tonight, one of my bridemaids called me and told me that immediately after the ceremony, she would like to change clothes. Her excuse was, 'I don't want to be cold'. She also explained that she will make sure that whatever she changes into will be black. (I'm having an evening wedding, indoors. My colors are black & silver)

The BM dresses that I chose have spaghetti straps.

I'm in limbo about how I'm supposed to feel. Am I supposed to be upset that she has just added to my plate of concerns?? Or should I be concerned at all? What a strange thing to request.

Comments??

eroxgirl Posted: Feb 20, 2003 07:32 AM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

I think you know what to say...

'LOOK B*TCH, 4 HOURS IS ALL I'M ASKING OF YOU. WEAR THE DAMN DRESS AND SHUT UP!!!'
...I wouldn't change a word!

The nerve!!

Sasha96 Posted: Feb 20, 2003 07:53 AM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

I'm with jpsgirl. I would want my BM to be recognized during introductions into the reception and during special dances, pictures, and events during the reception. I'd want her to be in the dress so she could be recognized for the role she played and the relationship you share. I would feel hurt if on of my BM's chose not to wear the dress during the reception.

Sassy Posted: Feb 20, 2003 07:53 AM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

I would Make her wear the dress. W T F does she think this is !!!!
Either wear the dress or don't be a BM!!! The NERVE

Sassy Posted: Feb 20, 2003 07:54 AM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

and FYI, I may be hurt, but I'd be more p-d off and MAD

allure Posted: Feb 20, 2003 08:45 AM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

I agree w/MISHY see what her feeling are w/the dress maybe she feels uncomfortable talk to her so you get a better understanding

BriBri529 Posted: Feb 20, 2003 08:51 AM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

I'd be upset. There is a purpose of a bridesmaid dress. Pictures are taken after the ceremony- that would look funny in pictures. I would be upset- JMO. I would speak my mind if I were you. Wait until you are not so upset and explain to her the reasons why you would be unhappy about this. Good Luck!

DrmnBlnd Posted: Feb 20, 2003 08:53 AM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

I cannot believe she asked you that! I think I would be miffed, because all the money is spent on the dress, and you want your BP to stand out.

Sassyz75 Posted: Feb 20, 2003 09:01 AM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

That is a really weird thing to say. However, maybe there are alterior motives? Does she maybe not feel comfortable in the dress or like the way she looks in it? That could be an issue. Tell her that the photographer will be taking pictures throughout the ceremony and you'd really appreciate it if she could keep on the dress so all the BMs look 'the part'

kittyke Posted: Feb 20, 2003 09:01 AM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

I have to say I would be ****ed off! Tell her maybe a sweater over the dress, I have seen that done and it looks fine - but to completely change out of the dress, that is nerve!

dubliner Posted: Feb 20, 2003 09:07 AM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

IMO - if she agreed to wear the dress and be in the BP, she should WEAR THE DRESS FOR THE ENTIRE NIGHT

MSCJLK Posted: Feb 20, 2003 09:09 AM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

Tell her no way!!! what nerve to ask to change after the ceremony...We have all been bridesmaids and have worn the nicest to teh uglist dresses and I would be very insulted that she wants to change This is for 5 stinkin hours and then she can do what ever she wants...It si not like the dress is fuchia and oraange.. I think that is very nice of you to have picked a black dress...Some people....

Niecey Posted: Feb 20, 2003 09:23 AM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

This would really upset me. I would tell her no way! I can't believe she would even ask that...is she really young or clueless? Whether she is cold or uncomfortable in the dress or whatever, when she accepted being part of the bridal party it meant wearing the bridal gown. I would tell her this is unacceptable. (unless of course it wouldn't bother you but it appears it does.)

Misty Posted: Feb 20, 2003 09:24 AM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

SO RUDE. I think I'd tell her to just not bother wearing it at all, and don't walk down the aisle either!

How silly is she though, to spend the money on the dress and not even wear it?

alina Posted: Feb 20, 2003 09:38 AM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

It seems that she doesn't like the dress... I would be upset, but I also can see her point to some extent.

I probably would let this girl know that I would be upset if she changed, but if she insists, then I would not let it bother me.

Betty Posted: Feb 20, 2003 09:44 AM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

IMO If she doesn't want to wear the dress she should give up her spot in the bridal party. If it comes with a shawl what the he!! is she complaining about??????

I would tell her NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

michele31 Posted: Feb 20, 2003 09:52 AM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

How do you tell someone that they HAVE to wear the gown all night? She is not a very good BMs or friend, but JMO- I would tell her that she has hurt your feelings by her request but you are not going to force her to wear the BM gown all night.

nrvbrd Posted: Feb 20, 2003 09:58 AM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

I would be verrrrrrrrry upset. I agree with Michele31, you cannot force someone to do something they do not want to do, but you must tell her that it would upset you if she chose to do this.
I personally would not have her in the BP , but that is me.

Tammy5-03 Posted: Feb 20, 2003 10:06 AM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

This is so ridiculous. If she can't keep the dress on she shouldn''t be a bridesmaid. The whole point is that you stand out as a member of the bridal party.

MichelleW Posted: Feb 20, 2003 12:03 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

3 words for her

$UCK IT UP

OctBride03 Posted: Feb 20, 2003 12:10 PM

Re: I'm really curious about what you guys think about this!!!!!

I have NEVER heard of such a thing!!! That takes some nerve!!! I'm getting married in October and my girls will be wearing strapless... If they don't want to be cold, then they shouldn't buy the dress and step down... that's JMO...

People are just plain strange sometimes!