im soooo close to cancelling the wedding

I'm soo sorry you're going through this but that ***** that his family cannot understand that. I have lots of nieces and nephews and close friends w/ kids and will not have kids at the wedding. and that's that.

We're not spending all this money for romper room time!

Hey....if they don't want to go then they'll miss it.

ok here is my oppinion as a parent....
i'm not going to hire a sitter and pay for 6 or 7 hours at $10-$15 a hour for a sitter and then go to a wedding and worry about her all day or night. On top of the $60- $100 for the sitter the couple is going to expect a gift so thats another $200 or so.
I know I have RSVPed no to a few weddings and parties because of the no kids thing. I understand people might get upset but you can't expect OOT people to spend all that extra $$$ to travel most likely they will bein their kids to travel and then tell them they aren't invited. If you don't want kids there stay firm with it and let everyone know now don't spring it on parents when the invites go out. Some parents that have the worst behaved children think theirs are perfect angles. But anyway thats JMO
HTH

Do not let them ruin your day!!!! If you want a kid free wedding then that is what you should have. You are not the first bride to say NO KIDS ALLOWED! especially if there are a lot of kids. Your future in laws should respect your feelings. I would not let them pressure you into changing your mind.

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Posted by shell1879

ok here is my oppinion as a parent....
i'm not going to hire a sitter and pay for 6 or 7 hours at $10-$15 a hour for a sitter and then go to a wedding and worry about her all day or night. On top of the $60- $100 for the sitter the couple is going to expect a gift so thats another $200 or so.
I know I have RSVPed no to a few weddings and parties because of the no kids thing. I understand people might get upset but you can't expect OOT people to spend all that extra $$$ to travel most likely they will bein their kids to travel and then tell them they aren't invited. If you don't want kids there stay firm with it and let everyone know now don't spring it on parents when the invites go out. Some parents that have the worst behaved children think theirs are perfect angles. But anyway thats JMO
HTH

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some parents STILL will find excuses. See i had some guests who i know their in-laws watch their kids ALL the time, so it wouldn't have cost anything extra for someone to watch them and if its their in-laws watching them then they wouldn't have to worry. ALso many of these ppl lived 20 mins away from the reception and still caused a big problem.

We had very few OOT guests, less than a dozen. The few OOT guests that we had were dh's family on his moms side, they live upstate. 3 of them have kids, and they were the only ones who didn't complain lol. Infact the reason i had thought of hiring a sitter was bc of them at first, i was going to have one stay with them at the hotel and this way i pay for it. But then all these other things happened, i was still willing to pay for a sitter for just them but they had already arranged for everything themselves. If the OOT guests would've complained it would've been understandable. But we had a millionaire complain so money for a sitter wasnt a problem, and we had ppl who lived close to the RH and had in-laws to watch the kid.

Parents also dont realize it can cost money for us too. If i invited kids it would've been $90 per plate for a kid and they only get chicken fingers and fries, i dont know many parents who would pay that if they took their kid out lol...not only that but if we allowed kids we would have 40 extra guests, so that means more tables, about 4 more tables, so that means more cp's, and close to 1k just for the cp's, not to mention meals at that price for 40 kids. So it would've cost a couple thousand dollars extra for me to invite kids. So thats something i think parents dont realize. The same you mentioned costs, it also costs me and it would be been in the thousands range, which isnt small

biggest problem though was dh said he wanted no kids. We've been to events with many of the kids and see how they behave, he was against this bc of past parties he attended. 40-50 kids is a bit much. Not only that but our wedding ended at 1:30am, i would never bring my kid to an event that ended so late. They will be tired around the beginning of the night so why would i put them through that.

The only kids at our wedding were our RB and FG...our reception started at 8:30pm, yeah those kids didnt last long at all. They had to be taken home bc they passed out quickly after the reception started.

i say: NO WAY!!!!! (JMO)........ i went to a wedding w/ KIDS & it looked like a damn birthday party not a formal event...... not to mention a very pricey celebration

I wouldn't put the decision on FH's shoulders...... remember....... if he agrees w/ them....... you will be very unhappy on your special day!

Good Luck!

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Posted by meli722

i wish i would have listened to everyone who told me to ELOPE!!!!!!!!!!
im sooo close to cancelling, getting on a plane and eloping and getting married on the freakin beach!!!
FH's famiy is deadset on NOT coming to the wedding because of our no kid policy!! theres just tooooo many of them, and i honestly do not want kids running around all night and for whatever reason they are not understanding this!

they expect me to bend my rules and say ok kids can come now, and be upset and mad on my own wedding day because theres kids there but at the same time now they are all saying they will not attend if there kids cannot....what gets me even more mad is one have a 1 year old baby and is making the biggest deal...how is a 1 year old going to enjoy a wedding? i would love for someone to explain that to me?

im soooo mad right now, i just want to cancel and freakin elope. FH doesnt know what to do because he wants his family there, but doesnt want to bend either. i just dont understand why they cant go by my wishes and rules for MY wedding day????+

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Im sorry you have to go through this. It is your wedding day and they should respect your wishes. They are acting very immature. If you don't want kids there, they need to understand that and move on. Hang in there!

I agree... it's YOUR day... and they are trying to make it theirs!! I would sit-down with them and see if maybe just a 'few' kids can come if then they will change their minds. As for the one year old... they should DEF. have a babysitter for that one.

I looove kdis...so we're having kids in our party, kids at the hall... a special table for kids. But, it's different for everyone. My future cousin is getting married Sept. next year and she ONLY wants the kids that are in the party, and not allowing anyone elses! I am seeing that she is getting alot of drama for that... 'Well, so and so has THEIR kids, why can't I bring MIIINE!?!?' Grow up people! You're invited to THEIR wedding... it's THEIR rules and wants... ENJOY the night out with NO kids! OY!

Best of luck to you! Hope it all works out!!

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Posted by meli722

im just really upset right now about it it just pisses the hell out of me! and honestly i DONT want to cave in because its not the wedding I want , i want a wedding with no kids, and i dont get why its so hard for them to understand that
i really want to throw the towel with the whole thing and elope

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you still have time until the wedding - these guests may change their mind and end up coming but if they dont then its their loss- obviously your FH isnt that important to those people if they dont have the decency to attend his wedding - shame on them! people are ridiculous - i would stand my ground - we are also doing no kids - ive heard people say that they were so glad they had children at their wedding - well, we went to a wedding a few weeks ago and my 1 1/2 year old godson was trampled on by some drunk idiot on the dancefloor who knocked him over as well as part of the DJ booth - it was very scary, my godson could have been seriously injured or killed by this guy (of course it caused a mini scene). later on my FSIL had to sit with the baby for the last hour or so while he slept on her - for me kids that young, i just dont get it - i think its innappropriate for an adult affair where there is lots of alcohol being served but thats JMO - but anyway im sure we will have some problems after we send out the invites but i am prepared for it - if people dont want to come because of it then oh well, ill get over it i think that some people change when they have kids - i can see how my FSIL is with her baby, she wants to spend every single minute with him, and i dont blame her - i dont know what its like to have a child - i think that some parents, especially those of very young children want to be with their baby as much as possible and will drag them around just for the sake of being with them KWIM? b/c that is how my FSIL is with my godson - so i guess that could be why people want to bring them so badly....but in any event if you say no kids, it means no kids - people shouldnt be asking you to change your mind - i think that is rude and tacky....

You shold not be forced to bed your no children policy. That was a decision you and FH weighed and made together and shold be respected.

Invite them and if they do not want to come their loss.

Dont cancel! I think they're just bluffing! Go on with planning as usual... they'll suck it up and come!

Sorry you have to deal with this!

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Posted by shell1879

ok here is my oppinion as a parent....
i'm not going to hire a sitter and pay for 6 or 7 hours at $10-$15 a hour for a sitter and then go to a wedding and worry about her all day or night. On top of the $60- $100 for the sitter the couple is going to expect a gift so thats another $200 or so.
I know I have RSVPed no to a few weddings and parties because of the no kids thing. I understand people might get upset but you can't expect OOT people to spend all that extra $$$ to travel most likely they will bein their kids to travel and then tell them they aren't invited. If you don't want kids there stay firm with it and let everyone know now don't spring it on parents when the invites go out. Some parents that have the worst behaved children think theirs are perfect angles. But anyway thats JMO
HTH

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im a parent myself too and i wouldnt want to bring my 1 year old to a wedding, thats just me......some people do, and these are not OOT guests! these are family memebers of his who actually live in the neighborhood lol so we see them allll the time, and get together all of the holidays.....and they DO have babysitters....whats funny is when they want to go out to hang out or to clubs they throw their kids on people 24-7, but for a wedding theyre making a HUGE deal........ makes no sense to me.
if i had a weding i was invited to, and my daughter couldnt go and i had NO babysitter,then i do the 'no sorry i cannot attend' on the RSVP and send a gift, i would NEVER imagine going to bring and b i t c h i n g about it
i would be upset about missing it and try my best to find a babysitter but if i couldnt go then what can i do? not complain, id be upset i couldng o but hey ive missed out on things before because im a parent, just have to deal with it and the bride and grooms wishes

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Posted by meli722

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Posted by shell1879

ok here is my oppinion as a parent....
i'm not going to hire a sitter and pay for 6 or 7 hours at $10-$15 a hour for a sitter and then go to a wedding and worry about her all day or night. On top of the $60- $100 for the sitter the couple is going to expect a gift so thats another $200 or so.
I know I have RSVPed no to a few weddings and parties because of the no kids thing. I understand people might get upset but you can't expect OOT people to spend all that extra $$$ to travel most likely they will bein their kids to travel and then tell them they aren't invited. If you don't want kids there stay firm with it and let everyone know now don't spring it on parents when the invites go out. Some parents that have the worst behaved children think theirs are perfect angles. But anyway thats JMO
HTH

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im a parent myself too and i wouldnt want to bring my 1 year old to a wedding, thats just me......some people do, and these are not OOT guests! these are family memebers of his who actually live in the neighborhood lol so we see them allll the time, and get together all of the holidays.....and they DO have babysitters....whats funny is when they want to go out to hang out or to clubs they throw their kids on people 24-7, but for a wedding theyre making a HUGE deal........ makes no sense to me.
if i had a weding i was invited to, and my daughter couldnt go and i had NO babysitter,then i do the 'no sorry i cannot attend' on the RSVP and send a gift, i would NEVER imagine going to bring and b i t c h i n g about it
i would be upset about missing it and try my best to find a babysitter but if i couldnt go then what can i do? not complain, id be upset i couldng o but hey ive missed out on things before because im a parent, just have to deal with it and the bride and grooms wishes

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Now I know I am not a parent but I do know that if a bride and groom would rather not hvae children at their wedding that is THEIR choice. THat is not for me to judge or be annoyed. If these people are family, I feel it is shameful of them to not try and get a babysitter...especially since they can get them to go clubbing. Stand your ground hun. These people sound very hypocritical and ridiculous...

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Posted by ckleinismine

How close are the kids to your FH? Are they brothers, nephews etc?

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kids of cousins, aunts and uncles