i wish i would have listened to everyone who told me to ELOPE!!!!!!!!!! im sooo close to cancelling, getting on a plane and eloping and getting married on the freakin beach!!! FH's famiy is deadset on NOT coming to the wedding because of our no kid policy!! theres just tooooo many of them, and i honestly do not want kids running around all night and for whatever reason they are not understanding this!
they expect me to bend my rules and say ok kids can come now, and be upset and mad on my own wedding day because theres kids there but at the same time now they are all saying they will not attend if there kids cannot....what gets me even more mad is one have a 1 year old baby and is making the biggest deal...how is a 1 year old going to enjoy a wedding? i would love for someone to explain that to me?
im soooo mad right now, i just want to cancel and freakin elope. FH doesnt know what to do because he wants his family there, but doesnt want to bend either. i just dont understand why they cant go by my wishes and rules for MY wedding day????+
dazies1011
Posted:
Member since
Re: im soooo close to cancelling the wedding
I have to say stick with your guns!!!! This is YOUR wedding not theirs and they are just ruining it for themselves if they dont go. Im not having kids at my wedding, well 9 and up that is. I work with kids allll day long so I say too bad for the ones with kids then dont come, you just missed out on the best wedding and a nice night out without the little ones.
meli722
Posted:
Member since
Re: im soooo close to cancelling the wedding
Posted by dazies1011
I have to say stick with your guns!!!! This is YOUR wedding not theirs and they are just ruining it for themselves if they dont go. Im not having kids at my wedding, well 9 and up that is. I work with kids allll day long so I say too bad for the ones with kids then dont come, you just missed out on the best wedding and a nice night out without the little ones.
And its funny that they wouldnt want to come to something like this because the last person to get married in their family was about 15 years ago
so dont you think they would like to come to a nice wedding and enjoy themselves?
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: im soooo close to cancelling the wedding
Posted by meli722
Posted by Espo22
Posted by meli722
im just really upset right now about it it just pisses the hell out of me! and honestly i DONT want to cave in because its not the wedding I want , i want a wedding with no kids, and i dont get why its so hard for them to understand that i really want to throw the towel with the whole thing and elope
if its something you REALLY don't want then don't give in. Just make them feel stupid by saying to them that if they are willing to miss your wedding then its obviously not important to them so to do whatever they want.
Does your RH charge for kids meals? some places do, mine did and let me tell you it wasn't cheap and all they get is chicken fingers and fries. I would love to see if their parents would ever pay that much for chicken fingers and fries. Also tell them that you would have to pay for the kids, and if they want to take on that extra expense since it means so much to them NOT you to go right ahead.
i think leonards has a kids menu?? i honeslty didnt ask because i have been on the whole no kids thing since the begininng.....and the girl who JUST had the baby, will have the 1 year old in June of 09...so even before she told anyone she was pregnant ,these was my wishes......and no one seems to freakin understand
i am sorry i really understand what youre going through. I went through the same thing and was so hurt by some people. Its funny too about those who do complain. Its the ones with the worst behaved kids, or those that you know what didnt call us to say congratulations when we were engaged, or didnt get invites when THEIR kids had parties lol, bc they did while we were engaged, but other family members did get invited so they make such a big deal that the kid is not invited, yeah thanks for inviting us to anything . Meanwhile we had someone who didnt complain at all and respected our wishes, and this is somebody who called right away to congratulate, invites us over for THEIR parties. Its so hypocritical and goes even deeper, but some people just dont think.
One thing i can promise you is the day of your wedding you won't care. All this drama you dealt with won't even go through your mind and if you do it YOUR way you will be on cloud 9 that day bc it will be the day you dreamed about and planned the way you wanted to. This is why i say don't give in if you feel so strongly. You dont want to be at your wedding thinking, this is not what i wanted
dazies1011
Posted:
Member since
Re: im soooo close to cancelling the wedding
Posted by meli722
Posted by dazies1011
I have to say stick with your guns!!!! This is YOUR wedding not theirs and they are just ruining it for themselves if they dont go. Im not having kids at my wedding, well 9 and up that is. I work with kids allll day long so I say too bad for the ones with kids then dont come, you just missed out on the best wedding and a nice night out without the little ones.
And its funny that they wouldnt want to come to something like this because the last person to get married in their family was about 15 years ago
so dont you think they would like to come to a nice wedding and enjoy themselves?
Thats what I would think. FH's aunt asked if kids were allowed at our wedding I said only 9 and up. 1 of her kids will be 10 by then the other 3 and she said no problem I'll get a babysitter. I couldn't believe it I thought she was going to be mad. How old are most of the kids that they want to go?
meli722
Posted:
Member since
Re: im soooo close to cancelling the wedding
Posted by Espo22
Posted by meli722
Posted by Espo22
Posted by meli722
im just really upset right now about it it just pisses the hell out of me! and honestly i DONT want to cave in because its not the wedding I want , i want a wedding with no kids, and i dont get why its so hard for them to understand that i really want to throw the towel with the whole thing and elope
if its something you REALLY don't want then don't give in. Just make them feel stupid by saying to them that if they are willing to miss your wedding then its obviously not important to them so to do whatever they want.
Does your RH charge for kids meals? some places do, mine did and let me tell you it wasn't cheap and all they get is chicken fingers and fries. I would love to see if their parents would ever pay that much for chicken fingers and fries. Also tell them that you would have to pay for the kids, and if they want to take on that extra expense since it means so much to them NOT you to go right ahead.
i think leonards has a kids menu?? i honeslty didnt ask because i have been on the whole no kids thing since the begininng.....and the girl who JUST had the baby, will have the 1 year old in June of 09...so even before she told anyone she was pregnant ,these was my wishes......and no one seems to freakin understand
i am sorry i really understand what youre going through. I went through the same thing and was so hurt by some people. Its funny too about those who do complain. Its the ones with the worst behaved kids, or those that you know what didnt call us to say congratulations when we were engaged, or didnt get invites when THEIR kids had parties lol, bc they did while we were engaged, but other family members did. Meanwhile we had someone who didnt complain at all and respected our wishes, and this is somebody who called right away to congratulate, invites us over for THEIR parties. Its so hypocritical and goes even deeper, but some people just dont think.
One thing i can promise you is the day of your wedding you won't care. All this drama you dealt with won't even go through your mind and if you do it YOUR way you will be on cloud 9 that day bc it will be the day you dreamed about and planned the way you wanted to. This is why i say don't give in if you feel so strongly.
thats what i want! i want to do it myyyy way, not cave in to have it their way u know? i alsoooo already KNOW for a FACT , my mother will go up to her (the one with the 1 year old causes the BIGGEST drama)and tell her something!!! And on top of that when my mother has a few drinks in her theres no stopping her mouth!! lol
so now im going to spend all this $$$ so peole can be kicked out for fighting? or i can be embarassed because my mother is arguing??
sooo to avoid all of this drama, i am just saying ok so no one bring kids, and it brings all this ******** headache!
kgicrls
Posted:
Member since
Re: im soooo close to cancelling the wedding
I am with you on the no kids rule. The only kids, younger than 15 that will be there are my nieces and nephews. FH doesn't have any, or they would be there too. But as far as cousins kids or friends kids, they will not be there. I want my friends and family to enjoy the wedding and I want to too. The last wedding I went to, there was a toddler and she almost got trampled on the dance floor and then her parents were mad. And my family will be forwarned, they need to watch their little ones b/c I am not responsible if something happens to them....
Do you really think his family would be that stubborn and miss your wedding if you happen to stick to your guns? I hope everything works out for you.
meli722
Posted:
Member since
Re: im soooo close to cancelling the wedding
Posted by dazies1011
Posted by meli722
Posted by dazies1011
I have to say stick with your guns!!!! This is YOUR wedding not theirs and they are just ruining it for themselves if they dont go. Im not having kids at my wedding, well 9 and up that is. I work with kids allll day long so I say too bad for the ones with kids then dont come, you just missed out on the best wedding and a nice night out without the little ones.
And its funny that they wouldnt want to come to something like this because the last person to get married in their family was about 15 years ago
so dont you think they would like to come to a nice wedding and enjoy themselves?
Thats what I would think. FH's aunt asked if kids were allowed at our wedding I said only 9 and up. 1 of her kids will be 10 by then the other 3 and she said no problem I'll get a babysitter. I couldn't believe it I thought she was going to be mad. How old are most of the kids that they want to go?
well like i said the one with the 1 year old is the biggest mouth, the other is about 7,cousins who have kids ranging from 3 to 6, 2 of them have 2 year old, one have a 5 year old....its pretty much all different ages.
meli722
Posted:
Member since
Re: im soooo close to cancelling the wedding
Posted by kgicrls
I am with you on the no kids rule. The only kids, younger than 15 that will be there are my nieces and nephews. FH doesn't have any, or they would be there too. But as far as cousins kids or friends kids, they will not be there. I want my friends and family to enjoy the wedding and I want to too. The last wedding I went to, there was a toddler and she almost got trampled on the dance floor and then her parents were mad. And my family will be forwarned, they need to watch their little ones b/c I am not responsible if something happens to them....
Do you really think his family would be that stubborn and miss your wedding if you happen to stick to your guns? I hope everything works out for you.
looks like it! His own GRANDMOTHER said she isnt going if her 7 year old great grandson (whom she helped raise) cant go!
kgicrls
Posted:
Member since
Re: im soooo close to cancelling the wedding
Posted by meli722
Posted by kgicrls
I am with you on the no kids rule. The only kids, younger than 15 that will be there are my nieces and nephews. FH doesn't have any, or they would be there too. But as far as cousins kids or friends kids, they will not be there. I want my friends and family to enjoy the wedding and I want to too. The last wedding I went to, there was a toddler and she almost got trampled on the dance floor and then her parents were mad. And my family will be forwarned, they need to watch their little ones b/c I am not responsible if something happens to them....
Do you really think his family would be that stubborn and miss your wedding if you happen to stick to your guns? I hope everything works out for you.
looks like it! His own GRANDMOTHER said she isnt going if her 7 year old great grandson (whom she helped raise) cant go!
I think he should have a serious talk with them, especially his grandmother, and maybe even without you, and explain to them your (as a couple) wishes and how you would be really hurt if they were not there for you on your wedding day.
Again, I hope it works out for you. If my family told me they weren't coming b/c of that, then oh well. The people who really care, will be there regardless...
jennaandguy09
Posted:
Member since
Re: im soooo close to cancelling the wedding
This is a major issue with FH as well, there are so many kids in the family but the only one invited is our flower girl and now we're starting to hear it, definitely stick to your rule, don't do anything that's going to make you enjoy your day less, ultimately it's about what is going to make you and FH happy, if his family is upset, they'll get over it. BTW...If you're going out for the night to have fun, why would you want to schlep the little ones out, my cousin is so happy she gets to leave the kids home, you would think they would all feel that way, apparently not, but again, you can't please everyone, and since it's YOUR wedding, you have to worry about the happiness of you and your husband, don't let everyone else dictate what you do. Through all of this planning, I've learned that people who don't contribute financially have no say, it's made things much easier on us, and honestly, it's not your call who ends up coming to the wedding, if people want to be petty enough to not come because of something like this, it's their loss, you probably don't want them there if they're not going to share in your joy.
kgicrls
Posted:
Member since
Re: im soooo close to cancelling the wedding
that's just my opinion!
meli722
Posted:
Member since
Re: im soooo close to cancelling the wedding
thank you girls who all respnded!!!!!!! i think im going to stick to my wishes and not cave in and see it as if they dont come its their lose!!!! they will be missing out, i would love for everyone to be happy and come, but i cant make everyone happy!
eta: spelling
dazies1011
Posted:
Member since
Re: im soooo close to cancelling the wedding
Posted by meli722
Posted by dazies1011
Posted by meli722
Posted by dazies1011
I have to say stick with your guns!!!! This is YOUR wedding not theirs and they are just ruining it for themselves if they dont go. Im not having kids at my wedding, well 9 and up that is. I work with kids allll day long so I say too bad for the ones with kids then dont come, you just missed out on the best wedding and a nice night out without the little ones.
And its funny that they wouldnt want to come to something like this because the last person to get married in their family was about 15 years ago
so dont you think they would like to come to a nice wedding and enjoy themselves?
Thats what I would think. FH's aunt asked if kids were allowed at our wedding I said only 9 and up. 1 of her kids will be 10 by then the other 3 and she said no problem I'll get a babysitter. I couldn't believe it I thought she was going to be mad. How old are most of the kids that they want to go?
well like i said the one with the 1 year old is the biggest mouth, the other is about 7,cousins who have kids ranging from 3 to 6, 2 of them have 2 year old, one have a 5 year old....its pretty much all different ages.
I'm so sorry you are dealing with that. Just hang- in. I don't understand why anyone would want to bring a child to a wedding.
little34
Posted:
Member since
Re: im soooo close to cancelling the wedding
Im so sorry you are dealing with this...I don't get it...you would think parents would LOVE one night out to not have to deal with kids!!! Kids HATE weddings anyway!! My RH has a policy that no kids under 5 are allowed..... maybe you should just elope and send little notes to the guests who made such a fuss and write because of you we eloped and it was perfect!!!!
littlepixie12
Posted:
Member since
Re: im soooo close to cancelling the wedding
I dont get it either ... we made it clear that there will be no kids at our wedding either. Just yesterday I was watching a wedding video and the couple was trying to have their first dance and these two kids run up and start tugging on her dress! Mind you these are the same parents that complain about kids having to go and then dont watch them and let them run around like they are in a playground.
And not for nothing, but if you are so worried about your 1yr they should be home with him/her not going to a wedding. I wouldnt bend if I was you. You are paying alot of money for this event and a wedding is no place for kids - liquor, dancing and staying out till 1am!
LnF0405
Posted:
Member since
Re: im soooo close to cancelling the wedding
I am so sorry you are going through this... what your FH think about it?? you need his support 100% specially becAUSE is his family, so tell him to step up and explain to his family that is a decision made by both of you not only you... GL
Jessiegrl
Posted:
Member since
Re: im soooo close to cancelling the wedding
Are they too cheap to pay for a babysitter? I'm sorry but kids (esp. a one year old) do not belong at weddings. People pay a lot of money, it's not a kiddie party. I would never start with someone, that is just so rude. That is your request and they should be fine with it. You just have to stick with it. If they are going to stay home because kids aren't invited, then your FI really needs to sit down and speak to them about WHAT and WHO is important on this day! It's not about them that day!
Jamnike
Posted:
Member since
Re: im soooo close to cancelling the wedding
we had the same problem. Dont let them get to you. They will get over it and if they dont come, they dont come. forget them. its not worth it. If they arent going to come cuz they cant bring their kids they arent comming for the right reason anyway. :) you deserve your wedding day how you want it. Kids or no Kids
(if we would have invited them it would have added at least 40 people)
KARA16
Posted:
Member since
Re: im soooo close to cancelling the wedding
Dont bend on anything. There is no 'RULE BOOK' that say that children must attend weddings!! I personally dont want any children at my wedding either. It's not a daycare! This is supposed to be the most important day in your life, the day of your dreams!!
I wouldn't cancel or give in to anyone. The people that care about you & fh will be there to share 'your day' with you. Its absolutely ridiculous that you even have to deal with this! I'm so sorry.
