incognito... FH PISSES ME OFF

WeddingBellsIn08 Posted: Jan 27, 2008 08:08 PM

incognito... FH PISSES ME OFF

PLEASE DONT QUOTE~!!!! I WILL BE DELETING THIS!!! Just in case

He just doesnt get it! We keep having the same argument about the rehearsal dinner. His parents are paying for it and FH and his mom seem to think that our list is out of control. WE ONLY HAVE 29 PEOPLE!!!! you offer to pay, thats how it goes! you can cut people now bc you dont want to pay for them. and to top it off, our 'gift' gets lowered the more people we invite. they set aside an amount for the RD and anything over that comes out of our gift. heres who i have

me and FH (2)
MOH (1)
BM (1)
BM (1)
BM (1)
BM (1)
FG and her parents (3)
RB and his parents (3)
BestMan and wife (2)
GM (1)
GM (1)
GM (and wife) (2)
GM (1)
My parents (2)
His parents (2)
His grandmother (1)
My grandparents (4)

i cant cut anyone. he feels that the FG and Rb dont have to be there!!! this aggrivates me bc they do have to go. kids more than anyone need to have a heads up as to what is going on. and you cant just invite them to the Rehearsal and not the dinner. everyone knows they go to a dinner after. I cant stand this. He always takes his moms side. i wish that just once he would stand by me! I told him that I wont go to the RD this way they can save the money!

Thanks for letting me VENT I rarely do it so i was due for one!!!Please dont quote!!! i am deleting this

mrsblesie2b Posted: Jan 27, 2008 08:13 PM

Re: incognito... FH PISSES ME OFF

I would be annoyed as well! I'm having approx. 45 counting OOT guests

madziara Posted: Jan 27, 2008 08:13 PM

Re: incognito... FH PISSES ME OFF

I think you should talk to him, because if he is with you he shouldnt stand behind his mom and agree to whatever she wants... that is not good. Dont get me wrong, but if he is taking his mom side now, how is it gone be in the future. He is planning life with you and not with his mom, so he should cut mom out even thou she is paying for it. He should straight everything down with his mom. Just talk to him......

bluegreen08 Posted: Jan 27, 2008 08:13 PM

Re: incognito... FH PISSES ME OFF

sending FM

SANDYROODY Posted: Jan 27, 2008 08:15 PM

Re: incognito... FH PISSES ME OFF

Judging by your list, I feel that everyone listed needs to be there. I absolutely agree with you, kids need to be abreast about what is happening and you cannot afford to not invite them.

040508Bride Posted: Jan 27, 2008 08:16 PM

Re: incognito... FH PISSES ME OFF

there def. isn't room to cut! sorry you are going through this. you reminded me that I really need to speak to FIL's about this since they haven't mentioned anything about it yet....

mathteach Posted: Jan 27, 2008 08:16 PM

Re: incognito... FH PISSES ME OFF

There is no one that looks like you can cut them. I probably would've offered to not go as well.

The only thing you may do: ask the parents if they were PLANNING on going to the dinner. They may decline anyway.

But I don't think you can not invite them.

mRm2008 Posted: Jan 27, 2008 08:17 PM

Re: incognito... FH PISSES ME OFF

i think your list is totally under control! you must have those people there or whats the point of even having a RD???????
i think FIL's need to get a grip!

JoesFutureWife Posted: Jan 27, 2008 08:21 PM

Re: incognito... FH PISSES ME OFF

That is ridiculous!! Our RD is 62 people which is the 32 in our bridal part plus the readers, plus those who are engaged or dating, etc. There is not one extra person and at first his mother didnt want us to invite our bm or gm with their significant others. So i said 'ok then i guess your son (FH's Brother) isnt bringing his gf?' Luckily we found a low cost option to allow all of our bridal party. In your case, that is RIDICULOUS!!!!!!! I would be so pissed too!

alissa5517 Posted: Jan 27, 2008 08:22 PM

Re: incognito... FH PISSES ME OFF

Sorry you are going thru this. You are right on with the guest list. Everyone that you have needs to be there. Try again to make him understand that the kids are the ones that need to be at the rehearsal the most.

WeddingBellsIn08 Posted: Jan 27, 2008 08:23 PM

Re: incognito... FH PISSES ME OFF

i even said to FH we arent inviting the readers. i cut it back as much as i could. I said we should cut out the grandparents if anything. he said thats not happening bc his grandmother has to be there. well guess what, if his Grandmother wil be there, so will mine.

ILOVEBRIAN2008 Posted: Jan 27, 2008 08:26 PM

Re: incognito... FH PISSES ME OFF

argh boys are stupid lol....u def cant cut down that list..and kids def need to be there and know what to do...and that is soo rediculous that his parents are saying that they are taking money out of your 'gift' bc u need to invite those people!!!!

is there anyway u can find a cheaper place or anything to just shut them up??

WeddingBellsIn08 Posted: Jan 27, 2008 08:27 PM

Re: incognito... FH PISSES ME OFF

Posted by ILOVEBRIAN2008

argh boys are stupid lol....u def cant cut down that list..and kids def need to be there and know what to do...and that is soo rediculous that his parents are saying that they are taking money out of your 'gift' bc u need to invite those people!!!!

is there anyway u can find a cheaper place or anything to just shut them up??

the thing is, we havent even found a place yet! i would be fine with Taco Bell!!!! GRRRRRRR

angl2001 Posted: Jan 27, 2008 08:29 PM

Re: incognito... FH PISSES ME OFF

i would be annoyed! Why bother offering to pay if you are gonna be like that?? you can't cut anyone....why dont people eunderstand???

WeddingBellsIn08 Posted: Jan 27, 2008 08:30 PM

Re: incognito... FH PISSES ME OFF

Posted by angl2001

i would be annoyed! Why bother offering to pay if you are gonna be like that?? you can't cut anyone....why dont people eunderstand???

exactly! FH is an only child. they only have to do this once. you cant go a little further for your son? come on!!!

Mrs A in May Posted: Jan 27, 2008 08:32 PM

Re: incognito... FH PISSES ME OFF

Had same argument with FH this weekend! He doesn't see why spouses need to be invited!

BoxOfRocks Posted: Jan 27, 2008 08:44 PM

Re: incognito... FH PISSES ME OFF

Hmm. I agree with the above that the people who are included on the list are on the list. Have the dinner somewhere else to cut down on the budget, or eat the cost out of your gift.

Did you guys discuss the number of people or the budget beforehand? Did the guest list grow to a number that FILs did not anticipate?

When you refer to him always taking his mother's side, is that hyperbole borne out of frustration or is it true? If the latter, I agree with the previous poster that it's something to discuss with him.

ETA--clarification.

MissMath Posted: Jan 27, 2008 08:46 PM

Re: incognito... FH PISSES ME OFF

lol....you are inviting everyone you have to. we have 40 people limiting to only those involved in the wedding and their husbands, wives, or parents....

they are nuts!!

WeddingBellsIn08 Posted: Jan 27, 2008 08:48 PM

Re: incognito... FH PISSES ME OFF

Posted by MissMath

lol....you are inviting everyone you have to. we have 40 people limiting to only those involved in the wedding and their husbands, wives, or parents....

they are nuts!!

thanks! at least I know Im not alone!!!!

kimnsteve Posted: Jan 27, 2008 09:09 PM

Re: incognito... FH PISSES ME OFF

dont woryy we have almost 50 people but there's nothng i can do about it ...dont offer t pay if you cant ...thats what i say..it might be rude but im so over it ...