We didn't speak to my future inlaws for over a year and I couldn't be happier.. When Ron's lil brother got sick and was in the hospital he asked if we made up with them bc he missed us all together.,,, Ok. So we made up against my feelings. I did it. I don't have siblings... So I can't be fair I guess..
Well the parents didn't change and his brother the next oldest still has a chip on his shoulder , still is a jerkoff and is still dating the girl who caused the inital problem. (BEAR WITH ME I A GETTING TO THE POINT)..
Well I can't stand her and I don't think I should have to be in a house filled with family ( I haven't met most yet) with her there. I know it will cause a scene and be a altercation if she comes.. So I had Ron call his mother last night and ask if she will be there. Since we are so happy and can't wait to tell the rest of his family about our news I think she shouldn't be invited. She should be asked to come over for the day and not the eve..
Am I being unfair? I refuse to ruin our happiness and our night bc of her and since she is 18 and not part of the family am I being nuts?
OctBride03
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Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn
I've just been reading this thread. And your last post stated that you do not want to make nice. No one who responded to your post told you to 'make nice' My advice is with everyone else. You need to bite your tongue and ignore her. Since there will be new people for you to meet, most of your conversation will be with these new relatives. Really, for your FH's sake (even though he may make it like he doesn't care) just go and pretend she's not there, you will come out the stronger and better person. She's a 19 year old kid! You're going to make yourself crazy. Even though your FH says his family is weird or crazy or whatever word you used, no one wants bad ties within their family. Especially when they are planning a wedding. Sorry JMO.
michele31
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Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn
You are digging your heels into the sand, and I don't think it is fair- to be very, very honest. You DO NOT have to like this girl and she does not have to like you. BUT no girl has the right to come between brothers or parents/children. Suck it up, be the better person, go over to the house and ENJOY telling everyone your good news. She cannot start a fight if you don't allow her to. Show his family that you are a wonderful women for their son/brother. Why allow her to take your FH away from his family? It isn't worth it. I am not saying to pretend either. A cordial hello is not too hard. We all have people we don't like in our in-law families but I would never, ever tell Scott I refuse to go to his family's home, unless someone physcially hurt one of our children or did something to harm them. That is where I would draw the line. So put on a smile, you are going to announce your engagement! Be happy and don't worry about this petty stuff. It will just ruin your joyous time.
Ronnie&Theresa
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Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn
Ron is a cold BOY.. Trust me when someone hurts him he DOESN'T forget.............
So I know he doesn't care!!!!
Thanks girls!
Latina511
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Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn
cw0904
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Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn
Theresa I am the minority here. You do have your pride. You deserve to. She is low cheap class to be acting this way. She is 19 a very silly 19 yr old.
But at the same time you have to learn to let go. It took me a lot to let go of my situation. I will walk into the house and walk right by her and say nothing! It takes a lot to do that. You will be the better person to not let her actions and words get to you. Ignore her and so should your FH. It will tick her off even more. And who will be standing there looking like the fool HER! It is hard to make piece with ignorant people that can't see no wrong in their actions. When you start ignoring her and don't respond, she will feel stupid and give up. Treat her like the 5 yr old that she is. Then she will notice the problem is her.
michele31
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Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn
You don't want our opinions Theresa, you want us to tell you that you are right and to stay away from his family. A lot of girls have told you to put the past behind you and start fresh with this special news. You just don't want to. I am not asking you to forgive someone who killed a member of your family. We are just saying to make an attempt. Ignore her- that is fine. But go to the house . and tell them your news with or without her there.Your FH will follow your lead.
Ronnie&Theresa
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Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn
Latina....
My opinion is that your DH isn't right.. I would NEVER let anyone speak bad about me or Ron no less a family memeber and if they did they would be cut from my life..
You are a VERY VERY VERY good person and strong woman, Not saying that I am not I am just a BITCH and I refuse to let people think they can get over on me. I am not anything but GOLD to their family and son and if they can't do something for me ..Then I have no use for them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
to you!
I also forgot to add that I just found out from FMIL that Her SON told her on the way to my house last SUN that we got engaged so she wasn't suprised.
Ron called his brother that morning to tell him since he wouldn't be there and all he said is TRUE that.. and he said please don't tell anyone we want to suprise them.. On his mothers way to the car he said MOm Ron gave theresa a ring... hahahah..
He can go F himself with his GF and NO I can't forget the past and now this is the present. I wasn't asking for anyone to side with me.. Just looking for opinions of MANY different people!
WishCandy
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Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn
Theresa, I know you feel differently but, I'm telling you that IMO I definitely think you should go to his house. WTF, why should you not be able to share your enthusiasm (sp?) about this wonderful news just because he has an @ss for a brother and he has an even bigger @ss for a gf? Listen, it's totally not worth it. You will definitely be seen as the bigger and better person in front of all if you just simply ignore she's even there. And believe me it will be even sweeter when you see how much that will irritate her and the brother. If they're acting like they're 5, then let them see what it's like to be treated like a 5 yr. old. I feel that the reason why they're acting like this is because they basically get off on p*ssing people off. SO, if you show them that they don't even matter. And you could care less. They will stew in their own bullsh*t and try to find someone else to bother. Good Luck! Also, maybe you should get their earlier just to prepare people for the craziness, before it comes you know? That way they'll know why you're ignoring her and not just being b*tchy for no reason.
dgtlsunshine
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Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn
Its seems there are some bad ties with his parents and you. I will tell you though JMO blood is thicker than water and my husband can talk about his parents but never would I in an open forum. You have to be very careful with that. I don't think calling his parents losers is very nice no matter what they did.
Misty
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Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn
Theresa, honestly, let go of the small petty stuff now before the wedding gets closer...this stuff will eat you alive before it even gets here.
And you can't expect everyone to be surprised about your engagement, obviously people knew you were getting engaged for a long time, you were on this site before it even happened too! Honestly, let it gooooo. Enjoy your family while you can, especially during times like these. You will regret all the anger in time. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but you will eventually. It's just not worth it.
Ronnie&Theresa
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Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn
Since it is an OPEN forum. I can say what I want. They know I feel they are losers but I try to be nice..
I am not Explaning why they are losers but those who know me know the deal................
and.. We didn't speak to his parents for almost 2 yrs... So they had NO clue about being enagaged and getting a new ring !!!!!
Nothing will ruin my holiday or my wedding..That is why its either us there or her!
Meg9-20-02
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Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn
If you go to their house and share the great news with everyone it will probably make FBIL's GF jealous! (especially because you will be the center of attention) Plus, why should you let her prevent you guys from sharing a time of celebration with his family?
Fletch
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Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn
If you feel this way about them then why do you want to share your good news with them and the other members of the family? If visits with them cause this much trouble then you shouldn't go at all. JMO. I know families can be difficult but your FH has to set things straight with them or this will continue for your entire marriage.
Cindy
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Re: Inlaw headaces....AGAIn
I have had a lot of inlaw issues through my planning so I understand. If his brother is dating someone that you dont care for, you cant stop her from attending something. You have to grin and bear her being there. Is this to announce your plans? If so I will tell you to deal with the fact of her being there if she is there. You need to give up this thing of it being perfect for your announcement. Believe me that I always thought it was going to be blissful with inlaws for my planning, but nothing is perfect and things do have a way of falling short of what we planned. Good luck!
