Inspired by a post on BHB..on cheating

What would you do if you found your DH/FH/FW cheated? Let's say it was not an on-going thing and the two of you have been together for quite some time....

Forgive? Forget? Fight? Leave the relationship?
Work it out?

GOOD BYE FH

In my eyes, i might be able to forgive but i know myself and i
would NEVER FORGET..

ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER!

I agree with Oct.2004bride. I would never forgive and never forget. The relationship would be over. If it was soemthing when we first started dating that say he kissed a girl and then told me right away then I might forgive him. But being engaged... and if I heard from anyone but him then there is no way I would marry him. Without trust there is nothing.

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Posted by oct.2004bride

GOOD BYE FH

In my eyes, i might be able to forgive but i know myself and i
would NEVER FORGET..

ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER!

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I agree, I could never forget that, and I don't think I would ever be able to forgive it either!

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Posted by oct.2004bride

GOOD BYE FH

In my eyes, i might be able to forgive but i know myself and i
would NEVER FORGET..

ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER!

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same here! I've been in the situation before and forgave, and was always burned in the end. SO never again!!! One strike and you are out!!!!!

Define cheating-
Kissing someone else- or having a full out relationship with someone else-- that would make a difference.

TO me even if i tried to 'work it out' i would be miserable and i would
go crazy...wondering where he is, who he is with, calling him to check
and see what he is doing...that is not a life i want to live

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Posted by oct.2004bride

TO me even if i tried to 'work it out' i would be miserable and i would
go crazy...wondering where he is, who he is with, calling him to check
and see what he is doing...that is not a life i want to live

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I agree - I think it would be very hard, but I would try. I just don't think it would work.

This question is so vague...There are so many parts to it...And you really don't know how you would react in a situation until you are in it...

it depends on the definition of cheating. It also depends if he told me or I found out another way.

If HE told me there may be a slim, tiny chance I could forgive him (after lots of counselling) depending on teh cirucmstancse. If I found elsewhere, NEVER!!

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Posted by shelly3950

it depends on the definition of cheating.

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yea, i think we have to define cheating.

TO me...I don't care if he just kissed someone, if he told me or if
he was wasted.....
to me those are no excuses for treating me, our life and our marriage with
such disregard.

And since i have been cheated on i know how i would react!
It makes you feel like a piece of s*** and it is VERY hard to get over it

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Posted by BMD'sPeanut

This question is so vague...There are so many parts to it...And you really don't know how you would react in a situation until you are in it...

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agree...

based on my definition of cheating, i would tell FH to hit the road. if we were married and had kids, i would have to really think about what is best for the family...

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Posted by BMD'sPeanut

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Posted by shelly3950

it depends on the definition of cheating.

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yea, i think we have to define cheating.

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we tried to do that here not too long ago, and the views were so different - i found it quite interesting...

Ok...we'll define cheating as actually having sexual realtions...fooling around type....beyond kissing....andy ou are in your current situation right now (about to be married or newly married)

personally: cheating is physical as well as emotional....when you start sharing all aspects of your life in an intimate manner with someone other than your DH/FHFW....it's wrong...only exception being the oposite sex best friends...which I happen to believe don't exist (one or the other ALWAYS has a thing for the other one....they just don't act on it)

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Posted by btrflygrl

Ok...we'll define cheating as actually having sexual realtions...fooling around type....beyond kissing....andy ou are in your current situation right now (about to be married or newly married)

personally: cheating is physical as well as emotional....when you start sharing all aspects of your life in an intimate manner with someone other than your DH/FHFW....it's wrong...only exception being the oposite sex best friends...which I happen to believe don't exist (one or the other ALWAYS has a thing for the other one....they just don't act on it)

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yea, i can't figure out those opposite sex friendships either.

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Posted by BMD'sPeanut

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Posted by btrflygrl

Ok...we'll define cheating as actually having sexual realtions...fooling around type....beyond kissing....andy ou are in your current situation right now (about to be married or newly married)

personally: cheating is physical as well as emotional....when you start sharing all aspects of your life in an intimate manner with someone other than your DH/FHFW....it's wrong...only exception being the oposite sex best friends...which I happen to believe don't exist (one or the other ALWAYS has a thing for the other one....they just don't act on it)

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yea, i can't figure out those opposite sex friendships either.

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i actually had one! they do exist! even FH had no problem with it (and he has a problem with EVERYTHING)! my friend wound up dating a girlfriend of mine and we no longer speak, but for the longest time he and i were the best of friends. i have to admit though, this is the ONLY situation where it worked. i have always had good guy friends, and 9 times out of 10 one thing DID lead to another...