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interesting little poll - parents names on the invite

Original post by nifheim

I was at a shower yesterday and an interesting topic came up. Who's parents get to be put on the invite. Most said both with no hesitation and it had to be both names. Some said who paid for the wedding, some said with our parents so it covered all and then there was me - none. People looked horrified that i said that.

I dunno its like we paid for the wedding, dh's parents are dead for over 24 years what were we going to put? That is what i said i mean even dh was like why the hell would you just put my parents name down because it looks like they paid for it, and if we put both we would of had to put belated and we weren't comfty with that then we can't with 'our parents' so we choose to go for just us. I felt like I was this evil horrible child to my parents, they never said anything to me about it.

SO I am interesting what did you put down and more importantly:

PART B: For those who didn't put parents names down are we evil?
Future Mulligan Posted:

Re: interesting little poll - parents names on the invite

no parents names....

we are paying for the wedding, we are hosting the wedding.....and with the layout we wanted we really couldn't really fit all of their names anyway i just felt like it was easier to read without a million names on the invite....

if my parents or his parents paid or contributed than we would have had to add their names - i juts feel like the invites comes from the host - and FH and I are hosting the wedding, and everyone knows i am the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Xyz and everyone knows FH is the son of Mr. and Mrs. Xyz.....

so instead we did:

together with their families

My Name

and

FH Name
SB7308 Posted:

Re: interesting little poll - parents names on the invite

Posted by LauraD419

We put something like

Mr. and Mrs. Brides parents
request the honor of your presence at the wedding of their daughter

Bride
to
Groom
Son of mrs. Grooms mom and Mr. Grooms dad

My parents paid, so it was clear that they were the hosts, but it recognized dh's parents as well.

This is what we did too.
RadiantBride Posted:

Re: interesting little poll - parents names on the invite

Although DH and I paid for the wedding we put both our parents names.
Mr & Mrs X
and Mr & Mrs Y invite you to:
DH is an only child and I am the only daughter. To us it was not about who actually paid for most of the wedding but the formality and respect that our parents deserved from us.
I dont think it is wrong not to put the parents names in there. I think it is a matter of how the couple feels about the situation.
Bride908 Posted:

Re: interesting little poll - parents names on the invite

We paid for our wedding entirely on our own. I used 'together with our parents'. Only because my parents are divorced and I didnt feel the need to honor my step mother.

I wouldve done just our names but since his parents gave us a ridiculus list of people we would have never invited I decided to use 'together with our parents' Its not horrible not to but if your inviting people for your parents I would suggest it.
pa56 Posted:

Re: interesting little poll - parents names on the invite

I think couples who pay for their wedding could put their parents name down if they felt their parents deserved the honor. They don't have to word it like their parents are throwing the wedding but something like:

Jane Smith
daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Smith

&

Jack Brown
son of Mr. and Mrs. Brown

Request the honor of your presence.....


My parents paid for our wedding but we put his parents' name on the invitation as well because we didn't want them to feel excluded.
futuremrsfab Posted:

Re: interesting little poll - parents names on the invite

Part A- my parents went on the invite- because they helped us the most- they were considered the host. DH did not list his parents because his dad is deceased and he didnt want to write the late jaime fabulous

Part B- I took a lot of flack for not listing my in-laws so I am not in a position to judge but I see nothing wrong with how you did your invitations- that was what you and your dh decided and it doesnt sound like your parents were offended- so no harm
08JulyBride Posted:

Re: interesting little poll - parents names on the invite

I just had our names.. no parents.

Wasn't because we paid, just liked it better that way.
jrzygrl Posted:

Re: interesting little poll - parents names on the invite

I think it's a personal preference and there is no correct 1 answer.

We put both parents names on the invitation.
My in-laws were gracious enough to foot the bill for the majority of the wedding cost. My parents took care of the bridal cost and odds and ends.

And since in Jewish tradition a marriage is the joining of the two families we felt it very appropriate to have both parents names. And it was an honor thing for us. But there is no sure set correct way.
Espo22 Posted:

Re: interesting little poll - parents names on the invite

i know alot of people go by who paid for the wedding but i didnt care about this. To me they were still our parents and they brought us into this world, put a roof over our heads for x amount of years, cloth and fed us and took care of us. So i wasn't going to say no your name doesnt deserve to be on the invite just bc you didnt contribute or this one contributed more. I didnt want to base all my parents ever did for me on this one event. So i put both parents names on the invite.

I do see couples who put just their names, which i like better than basing it on just who paid. BUt everyones situation is different so you have to remember that. Maybe someones parents were never around for them so my scenario in the first paragraph wouldn't apply.
GinaZ Posted:

Re: interesting little poll - parents names on the invite

GMar9508 Posted:

Re: interesting little poll - parents names on the invite

DH and I paid for all our vendors but my parents by for the reception so we put their names on, after we had the invites made though DH mother gave us money but she isnt the type to care about small things like that she did it b/c she wanted to and that is what makes her so great I love my MIL

agraydc Posted:

Re: interesting little poll - parents names on the invite

we did...

together with our families....

cuz we are both children of divorce and even though my mom was helping us significantly i couldnt just put her and husband and all four parents would have been to much so we chose this
jessnstu08 Posted:

Re: interesting little poll - parents names on the invite

My father paid for everything and did not want my mother ( bad divorce ) on the invite. I almost canceled everything because of it , it was a mess but my mom said she didn't care if her name was on it or not

My MOH was on it , but I wasn't going to at first since she has been difficult from the jump, but then I put her on anyway

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