interesting thing I realized about myself yesterday

so, good friend comes over to borrow my jeans as maternity pants...she also comes with her little sonogram in tow.

I looked at it, looked at dh, looked at it again, and waited expectantly for a feeling that didn't come.

I thought I'd look at it and be all wistful and wishful, imagining the feelings I'd have when I'd be looking at my sonogram.

Instead, I felt utter joy for friend, but nothing stirred inside of me....which surprised me greatly...

I always thought I'd be a mom
Sometimes I wish for a mistake
The longer that I wait the more selfish that I get
You seem like you'd be a good dad

Now all those simple things are simply too complicated for my life
How'd I get so faithful to my freedom?
A selfish kind of life
When all I ever wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life

You didn't get that feeling bc you're not ready yet. You're still in your 1st year of marriage and you 2 want to enjoy being a couple for awhile before you become a family.

A lot of women go through this. One day you'll just wake up and say 'hey, let's make a baby'!! Maybe not today or tomorrow, but eventually and when you do you'll know you're ready for it!!

I think you surprised yourself bc you were expecting something that society wants you feel. It's good that you're going with what you want and not what you 'should' be doing.

Finally, congrats to friend!!

To be honest, I don't think selfish is the right word. I think it's 'smart' to consider how you would feel about a new addition to your family.

Everytime I pick up a child it's like they're my own, and it's noticeable b/c every mother comes to me and says 'you're a natural.' But, guess what? Yes, I'm a natural and I absolutely adore children...but I don't get that feeling for myself...that owey, gowey, I can't wait feeling.

Instead, I say 'when the feelings there, that's when I act.'

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Posted by M&S Sept12006

You'll know when you're ready...and you can't be ready by yourself...your significant other has to be ready and willing as well.

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I am glad you haven't left yet to talk about pooping and farting. You are interesting here

1. it is a photo copy piece of paper
2. you JUST got married
3. You have time

When you and your DH are ready, then you'll know. It doesn't have to be now.

Honestly - its not something that just 'happens' after you get married - like, along with your marriage license and blingy ringy, you all of a sudden start developing the baby crave....

Mariage is more than - 'coming up next - family time... '

enjoy enjoy enjoy your marriage... We were going to wait even though we are old geezers, but obviously it wasn't in the cards.... It took me a while to accept that, and as much as I am very happy and feel truly blessed that it happened so easily, I can't exactly say i'm ready. I love kids, and I'll love being a mom - but at 33, I wasn't ready yet to let go of my life and all the perfect things in it - the ability to run out and go to the gym, run out and go away for a week - geez - run out and take out the friggin garbage... my life will never be my own ever again - I'll be responsible for someone else... forever....


Am I happy? Yes. Do I have a wonderful partenr in all of this? Yes.

But you may never get that instinct. You may never want kids. And that is completely ok. Don't let people tell you otherwise.

Cuz, if you arent ready, you arent ready for more than just yourself....

Now someone help this fat preggo lady off this soap box before I topple over.

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Posted by lipglossjunky73

Honestly - its not something that just 'happens' after you get married - like, along with your marriage license and blingy ringy, you all of a sudden start developing the baby crave....

Mariage is more than - 'coming up next - family time... '

enjoy enjoy enjoy your marriage... We were going to wait even though we are old geezers, but obviously it wasn't in the cards.... It took me a while to accept that, and as much as I am very happy and feel truly blessed that it happened so easily, I can't exactly say i'm ready. I love kids, and I'll love being a mom - but at 33, I wasn't ready yet to let go of my life and all the perfect things in it - the ability to run out and go to the gym, run out and go away for a week - geez - run out and take out the friggin garbage... my life will never be my own ever again - I'll be responsible for someone else... forever....


Am I happy? Yes. Do I have a wonderful partenr in all of this? Yes.

But you may never get that instinct. You may never want kids. And that is completely ok. Don't let people tell you otherwise.

Cuz, if you arent ready, you arent ready for more than just yourself....

Now someone help this fat preggo lady off this soap box before I topple over.

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Beautifully said. And congrats on your little one.

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Posted by BubbasBride

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Posted by lipglossjunky73

Honestly - its not something that just 'happens' after you get married - like, along with your marriage license and blingy ringy, you all of a sudden start developing the baby crave....

Mariage is more than - 'coming up next - family time... '

enjoy enjoy enjoy your marriage... We were going to wait even though we are old geezers, but obviously it wasn't in the cards.... It took me a while to accept that, and as much as I am very happy and feel truly blessed that it happened so easily, I can't exactly say i'm ready. I love kids, and I'll love being a mom - but at 33, I wasn't ready yet to let go of my life and all the perfect things in it - the ability to run out and go to the gym, run out and go away for a week - geez - run out and take out the friggin garbage... my life will never be my own ever again - I'll be responsible for someone else... forever....


Am I happy? Yes. Do I have a wonderful partenr in all of this? Yes.

But you may never get that instinct. You may never want kids. And that is completely ok. Don't let people tell you otherwise.

Cuz, if you arent ready, you arent ready for more than just yourself....

Now someone help this fat preggo lady off this soap box before I topple over.

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Beautifully said. And congrats on your little one.

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Thank you - I tend to wax philiosophic at the end of the day

Chris and Liza -

it's not external pressures at all.

I just thought I'd be more excited, b/c I do love kids and thought I wanted them.

it was a 'not ready' or 'not right now' thing...almost like a 'never' thing. and it was just weird. I am not sad about it, just surprised.

thanks girls.

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Posted by JessicaM.

it's not external pressures at all.

I just thought I'd be more excited, b/c I do love kids and thought I wanted them.

it was a 'not ready' or 'not right now' thing...almost like a 'never' thing. and it was just weird. I am not sad about it, just surprised.

thanks girls.

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The most wonderful thing about this realization is that its a realization. some women just go thru the motions without ever admitting this to themselves. You may be ready in 10 yrs or never - whats important is that you live the life you want, and love, and are happy in....