Invitation Wording - Addressing Family with Adult Children

Bridex100 Posted: Feb 02, 2007 11:34 AM

Invitation Wording - Addressing Family with Adult Children

We basically are putting Mr. and Mrs. John Smith form for the majority of the invitations.

How do we word if we want their adult children as well?

I don't want to send 3 invitations to one family. I also don't necessarily want the adult children's spouses to come either. I will let their dates come if they want to but I am not going to formerly invite them.

This is for family friends - my parents' friends. I knew some of their children for 20 years. We've lost touch but my parents feel it would be rude not to invite the children. I don't mind having them come at all. I just don't know how to word the invitations.

I'm thinking of just sending formal invitations to the parents and having my parents verbally invite their adult children.

I don't know if my post is clear. I hope it is!

eelharas4700 Posted: Feb 02, 2007 11:39 AM

Re: Invitation Wording - Addressing Family with Adult Children

I THINK this is how you can do it. I have gotten invites like this and my fsil sent them this way

Mr. & Mrs. John Smith
Ms Jane Smith

I could be wrong. But if any one knows the correct way, I could use it too.

Bridex100 Posted: Feb 02, 2007 11:42 AM

Re: Invitation Wording - Addressing Family with Adult Children

If there are two daughters, should I write?

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Ms. Jane and Joan Smith

or

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Ms. Jane Smith
Ms. Joan Smith

Jane is married. Joan is not. Ack!!!

Or should I write?

Mr. John Smith and Family

OMG! Whey are there so many little logistics?!??!

Maybride07 Posted: Feb 02, 2007 11:46 AM

Re: Invitation Wording - Addressing Family with Adult Children

In this situation this is what I did:
The Smith Family

Bridex100 Posted: Feb 02, 2007 11:49 AM

Re: Invitation Wording - Addressing Family with Adult Children

The only issue I have with writing Family is that the adult children have kids. We are having an adult only wedding. I don't mind their spouses coming but not the kids.

I hope this doesn't cause future drama. Sigh.

Maybride07 Posted: Feb 02, 2007 11:51 AM

Re: Invitation Wording - Addressing Family with Adult Children

Posted by Bridex100

The only issue I have with writing Family is that the adult children have kids. We are having an adult only wedding. I don't mind their spouses coming but not the kids.

I hope this doesn't cause future drama. Sigh.

Oh I hear ya. I would go with this one then
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Ms. Jane Smith
Ms. Joan Smith

Espo22 Posted: Feb 02, 2007 11:52 AM

Re: Invitation Wording - Addressing Family with Adult Children

Theres alot of sites that tell you what to do...You can put The smith family or even Mr. and Mrs. Smith and on the inside envelope you put everyones name that you are inviting

neener1211 Posted: Feb 02, 2007 11:54 AM

Re: Invitation Wording - Addressing Family with Adult Children

Posted by Bridex100

The only issue I have with writing Family is that the adult children have kids. We are having an adult only wedding. I don't mind their spouses coming but not the kids.

I hope this doesn't cause future drama. Sigh.

You are probably better off sending seperate invitations to each couple to make it easier for you.

Julybride08 Posted: Feb 02, 2007 11:55 AM

Re: Invitation Wording - Addressing Family with Adult Children

I would write Mr & Mrs. Smith and Family. I did that on my engagment invites.

Julybride08 Posted: Feb 02, 2007 11:56 AM

Re: Invitation Wording - Addressing Family with Adult Children

Posted by Bridex100

The only issue I have with writing Family is that the adult children have kids. We are having an adult only wedding. I don't mind their spouses coming but not the kids.

I hope this doesn't cause future drama. Sigh.

You can always have Adult reception written on your invites.

KD1279 Posted: Feb 02, 2007 12:03 PM

Re: Invitation Wording - Addressing Family with Adult Children

Posted by Bridex100

The only issue I have with writing Family is that the adult children have kids. We are having an adult only wedding. I don't mind their spouses coming but not the kids.

I hope this doesn't cause future drama. Sigh.

If that doesnt work tell them to Get Bent or not too, get too bent.

Nlynn Posted: Feb 02, 2007 12:20 PM

Re: Invitation Wording - Addressing Family with Adult Children

I don't want any children at my wedding. Only the 3yrs old flower girl and ring boy. I am going to make sure my invitation states 'adult gathering only' I know alot of people will get offended but, my hall charges full price for kids.

MandG072909 Posted: Feb 02, 2007 12:30 PM

Re: Invitation Wording - Addressing Family with Adult Children

I don't think this is what you want to hear but I am a huge anti-fan of the 'and family invite' because (a)it leaves things open to way to much interpretation and (b)IMO its better ettiquite and more personal for everyone invited to be addressed by name.

Also, does the married couple even live w/ the parents...if not they really should get their own invitation sent to their own house. (if the single daughter lives at home AND is not married or dating seriously I think you can get away with including her by name on her parents invitation).

Also on a side note IMO if someone is married, their spouse really should be invited (i.e name on the invitation)...I'd be kind of put off to get an invitation to just me w/ the idea that I could bring my husband 'if I wanted'

Sorry to be so blunt in my response but I wanted to give you my honest opinion...

kathrynlinton Posted: Feb 02, 2007 12:32 PM

Re: Invitation Wording - Addressing Family with Adult Children

Posted by neener1211

Posted by Bridex100

The only issue I have with writing Family is that the adult children have kids. We are having an adult only wedding. I don't mind their spouses coming but not the kids.

I hope this doesn't cause future drama. Sigh.

You are probably better off sending seperate invitations to each couple to make it easier for you.

I agree with this.

Some houses got 3 invites. Friends of our family got:
Mr & Mrs Anthony L
Ms. Bianca L & Guest
Mr. Anthony L, Jr. & Guest

Each got a separate invite. The only people where I did 'family' were DH's family where the kids were invited and they were under 18. So, the outer envelope looked like this:
Mr. & Mrs. John C
and the inner envelope read:
Mr. & Mrs. John C
Rebecca, Lucas & Duncan C

Bridex100 Posted: Feb 02, 2007 12:37 PM

Re: Invitation Wording - Addressing Family with Adult Children

They are my parents' friends children. I haven't seen or spoken to them in 10 years.

I do not even know the girl's husband's name! I just know she got married and has kids. I wasn't invited to her wedding.

Honestly I felt bad I was not invited to her wedding even though I was living in a different state and had not spoken to her in like 7 yrs at the time.

My parents just thought it would be rude not to invite the children since we used to play together when we were children (elementary school).

I think I am just not going to invite them.

Mrs.Ptobe Posted: Feb 02, 2007 12:38 PM

Re: Invitation Wording - Addressing Family with Adult Children

I'm not having children outside the BP, but my jr. Bridesmaid's brother is 16 (so I don't consider him a child, no one under 15 is invited), so I am sending and invitation like this:

Mr. & Mrs. John Smith
Mr. James Smith

However, for truly adult children of the families, they will get their own separate invitations as long as they are over 21. This way they can bring a guest. If anyone is married or engaged they are definitely getting their own invitation sent to their own home as much as I can help it or as much as they don't live with their parents.

lredhead79 Posted: Feb 02, 2007 01:18 PM

Re: Invitation Wording - Addressing Family with Adult Children

Personally I would (& I am) sending seperate invites to aduly children.
1 is going to the parents and 1 would be sent addresses the the children

donegal419 Posted: Feb 02, 2007 03:46 PM

Re: Invitation Wording - Addressing Family with Adult Children

I had this issue too...

Honestly, I think you need to send an invite to the adult children. the key word is that they are ADULTS.... also, if you don't send them their own invitation, it is not clear what you want for them in terms of guests, etc. verbal invites are rude, JMO. . . . i know it ***** to send out so many extra invitations...but they're not kids..t.hey deserve their own invite. if you don't want them there, then they don't get one.

ssdbk Posted: Feb 02, 2007 04:10 PM

Re: Invitation Wording - Addressing Family with Adult Children

Sounds like you don't want to invite them.

If you do, then anything short of the separate invitation, sent to the person and their spouse, can appear rude. You may not care if it does, though. You may have to make phone calls to find out names, etc.