Just a little background. FH's father died a few years ago and his family is, understandably, still upset by their loss. We're having a traditional invite where my parents are on the top, then my name and then his name. I want to include that line
FH's first and middle name...
'son of *****'
Who should we include?
Can we do
Son of Mrs. ***** **** and the late Mr. **** ***** ?
One one hand, I feel like it honors his father in some way because his name is on the invite. On the other hand, I feel like it only draws attention to the fact that he passed away and seems sad.
I have not asked FH or his Mom what they want to do yet. Of course, I will ask them before we make any final decisions, but I know how difficult this conversation will be and I want to be able to give FH some options.
I know that some of you have been through this before and I also know that you'll have the best advice! So thanks in advance.
missgwife
Posted:
Member since
Re: Invite Wording/Deceased Parent
Posted by HelenZ
Posted by missgwife
Posted by naps714
My father passed away almost 8 years ago and I struggled with this topic. My mother did not want it to say 'the late' on the invivation because she thought it was morbid. So we wrote just her name.
However, on the programs (on the back) I am having a poem/picture/dedication page to my dad. I felt like the church would be an appropriate location to honor my dad.
This was the poem on our program for my dad:
if roses grow in heaven lord please pick a bunch for me place them in my father's arms and tell him they're from me tell him i love him and miss him and when he turns and smile place a kiss upon his cheek and hold him for a while because remembering him is easy i do it everyday but there's an ache within my heart because i'm missing him today when everything is said and done i will cherish this day with a smile because i know my daddy is here with me as i am walking down the aisle
I just love this poem.
wow this really made me tear up!!! If I put that in my program I just have to make sure I don't read it on the wedding day...it will make me cry like a baby!! it's very beautiful and I think it will mean a lot to my dad's side of the family to include something in the program for him. thank you so much for sharing this!!
. You should use it on your program. I still cry when I read it.
missgwife
Posted:
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Re: Invite Wording/Deceased Parent
Posted by HelenZ
Posted by portjeffbride
I'd say 'FH, son of mary and john smith'
leave out the late... that way, you're honoring him w/o drawing attention to his passing. Besides, he's not really gone since in spirit, he is very much alive.....
My father passed away 9 years ago and I want to include his name on the invite as Helen _____ daughter of (insert my parents names) and also put FH son of (insert parents names).
FH's cousin lost both of her parents- she just got married in November, and she still mentioned both parents using the same format I plan on using.
I do not think that its inappropriate to list a parents name b/c they are deceased and therefore not paying for the wedding. Any one who is close to us knows we are paying for the wedding ourselves anyway, but for me the invite is not just a way to show who paid for the wedding, but also a way to honor our parents. I kind of wouldn't feel right not including my dads name....he's the reason I am who I've become.
. I agree
donegal419
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Re: Invite Wording/Deceased Parent
you can't technically put a deceased person's name on an invitiation...
I would put son of Mrs. John Smith.
This works great (provided that she has not remarried and has kept her married name) because it includes his mother as well as subtly including his father.
i would honor the father in the program or a memorial candle or other place////
Toots123
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Re: Invite Wording/Deceased Parent
Thanks everyone for the really good advice and suggestions for ways to honor his Dad. I will let him look at this and he can talk to his Mom and decide what they want to do.
naps714
Posted:
Member since
Re: Invite Wording/Deceased Parent
Posted by missgwife
Posted by naps714
My father passed away almost 8 years ago and I struggled with this topic. My mother did not want it to say 'the late' on the invivation because she thought it was morbid. So we wrote just her name.
However, on the programs (on the back) I am having a poem/picture/dedication page to my dad. I felt like the church would be an appropriate location to honor my dad.
This was the poem on our program for my dad:
if roses grow in heaven lord please pick a bunch for me place them in my father's arms and tell him they're from me tell him i love him and miss him and when he turns and smile place a kiss upon his cheek and hold him for a while because remembering him is easy i do it everyday but there's an ache within my heart because i'm missing him today when everything is said and done i will cherish this day with a smile because i know my daddy is here with me as i am walking down the aisle
I just love this poem.
That is beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing that with me! I will def use it!
tbone66
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Re: Invite Wording/Deceased Parent
It is nice to know that I am in good company with girls that have a deceased parent. Somtimes it feels like I am the only one. My father died a year ago and planning this wedding has proved to be so hard with out him.
I have thought about the invitations, i thought it would be nice to put 'together with their parents'. Is this appropriate?? I would rather not put 'together with their families.'
We are also paying for the wedding ourselves.
FH's parents are both divorced and remarried to complicate things.
SusiBtoM
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Re: Invite Wording/Deceased Parent
Posted by Future Mrs.
Just write 'together with their families, Brides Name and Grooms Name request the honour of your presence......'
I lost my mom 2 years ago and learned how to handle this. It is totally INAPPROPRIATE to put anyone deceased on the invitation. You can mention them in your program, light a candle, have your officiant say a blessing, and/or make a donation in their name.
An invitation indicates who is hosting the event. An event cannot be hosted by someone who is deseased. I struggled with this too.....explain to FH that his dad will definitely be there in his own special way....he doesn't need to be on an invitation to be remembered.
I agree with this. I lost my Mom 2-1/2 years ago, but won't mention her on the invitation. She is not physically present to host the wedding.
I will honor my Mom with the lighting of a memorial candle at the beginning of the ceremony, a picture of her on my bo-k, her wedding ring pinned to the inside of my gown (I usually wear it every day on my right hand). I am also having my florist make a special bo-k instead of the toss away to place on my Mom's grave the day after the wedding. This will be a private moment for my husband and me. Although my Mom won't physically be there, she will be in my heart, as she is always.
th24s
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Re: Invite Wording/Deceased Parent
Hey my question alittle different. My mom pasted away 6 years ago and my father has remarried. How do I reference my parents. Is it Mr. john Smith and the late Mrs. Jane Smith, then what about my father's new bride(stepmom))not very close). If I put Mr. & Mrs. John Smith, will they think my mom or my dad's second wife?
Strings22
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Re: Invite Wording/Deceased Parent
My FH's parents have passed and we worded are invitations by stating 'so and so with their parents invite you to come blah blah blah'
jessruth9
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Re: Invite Wording/Deceased Parent
The poem that was posted is so beautiful!!! What a great way to remember a deceased father.
I think it is okay to include a deseased parent on an invitation because they are still a part of your life and will be present in spirit on the big day!
