Invitees coming with an uninvite guest?

What would you do?... We invited a friend of my fiances without a guest. He replied with a guest. We are so desperate for declines at this point that one more person could set us over the edge? Do we let it go? Anyone have this issue? Also, Friday is the deadline for responses and there are many outstanding responses. Is this common?

Invitees coming with an uninvite guest?

I would call them and let them know that you number constraints and that you really can't accommodate the guest. However, if things change that you will let them know.

Invitees coming with an uninvite guest?

You should do a search on this topic because someone had a similar situation not that long ago. Everyone had good advice. You'll have to call the person and let them know that guests are not invited. And I think it's pretty common for people to wait till the last minute to send their reply. You have to go down the list and start calling people to ask for their reply. Good Luck! I have a feeling I'll be going through the same thing in about three months when I send my invites out.

Invitees coming with an uninvite guest?

It looks like we`re going to have over 33% declining and won`t meet our minimum - you could send them to our wedding instead!!! :-) Seriously, it`s considered proper etiquette to have the person closest to the guest, in this case your Fi, call and explain how very sorry they are that there is no room for a guest because the room is very tight and how he knows the friend will understand. If, however, the friend explains that he`s recently become engaged and this is his fiance, then you should make the accomodation and if they had been dating for a lengthy time, like a year, then they probably should have been included in the first place, so you might need to let them come. As for the outstanding responses, we have about 30 and our deadline was yesterday. We plan to wait a few days for stragglers then divide the task between the families, having each call the guests on their side, explaining the need to give the reception site a final head count. You may want to make your calls to the outstanding ones before you call the friend with the guest. We are pretty sure that at least half our outstanding will be NO - out of towners that have not made hotel reservations, guests that told us they probably would not be able to come, but have not confirmed, etc. You may have a lot of No's in the remaining group too.

Invitees coming with an uninvite guest?

I think the best advice is to see about your decline list and then call and just explain the situation...some people just don't understand how these weddings work. We have the OPPOSITE problem - people who were invited with guests are calling and telling us that even though they responded that they are bringing a guest, they may not actually bring one -- how's that? We'll have to pay for dinners that won't even get eaten!! I'm with Karen - feel free to send them to our wedding - we have had over 30% of the invitees decline and are just barely going to cover our minimum...we never expected that many. Aside from the fact that our responses were also due yesterday and we have about 20 who haven't responded - and still have 30% who said no...we are going to split up the list of no responses by family tonight and have everyone start making calls since we are meeting with the hall on Tuesday and would like to have a semi-realistic headcount...the joys of the wedding!!

Karen H. & Lee - Don't feel bad

We didn't meet our minimum either and had over 40% decline rate.

Thanks MichelleW!

We are now referring to the reception as our 'intimate gathering' LOL!

Uninvited guest

In my opinion you should let the guest come. If the person is over 18, you should have invited them with a guest anyway (whether they are dating someone or not) You will always have people who don't show up for some reason or another, so I wouldn't worry about it. Don't put it into your final count. Worse comes to worse they will have to set another plate. The matre de will take care of it so you wouldn't have to worry anyway. Have you ever gone to a wedding by yourself? It can be terribly loney. It is only right that you let the guest come.

Uninvited guest

Everyone is entitled to their opinion but I disagree with Kristi. We are not expected to invite guests of our guests. We are invited our friends and family and if they have significant others that's one thing. But just allowing random guests to be invited is not the norm. You should do what you feel comfortable with.

Uninvited guest - agree with stef28

I don't think you're obligated to invite a guest for everyone - only if they have an established relationship. Some people don't like feeling that they have to scrounge up a geust if there is no significant other. We also have some singles that we know will welcome the chance to meet other singles, and most of them know a few people at the wedding so it won't be all that lonely.

Thanks MichelleW!!!

I'm just hoping the room doesn't feel too empty!!! We'll have about 165 in a room that is supposed to hold 280, although the way they pack 'em in, 240 is probably more realistic, so I'm crossing my fingers that it won't seem like a party where no one came!

Thanks MichelleW!!!

Don't worry about it looking empty. They always try to pack as many people into these rooms as possible and then you can barely dance on the dance floor. It'll be fine!

Now I am nervous!

We had to guarantee 230 people and we are only inviting 275, but we only have 10 out of town guests so I am hoping we will make our minimum. Has anyone ever heard of caterers adding stuff to your menu or something like that when you don't make the minimum rather than having the paid meals go uneaten? Just curious if there is some flexibility there.

Now I am nervous!

Definately, all they want is the guarantee of the $$$ and so you should be able to negotiate a bit if the numbers warrant it, although if you are just off by a few plates, you don't have much to work with. Keep in mind too, that the discount for children and vendors is based on making your minimum, so if you are a bit short, you'll just pay full price for them - not quite as bad as paying for a full, uneaten meal.

Now I am nervous!

Our caterer increased our per person cost since we fell short of our minimum