Diana.. a guest is a guest

NOT to be confrontational at all, really, just curious...why does it annoy you?? If that's who the person wants to bring and they will have a good time with the guest of their choice, I can't see why anyone would be annoyed. I am just very curious bc it honestly has never occurred to me that this is the wrong thing to do!! thanks!

Diana.. a guest is a guest

Say you are invited to a wedding with a guest, of a coworker or something where you will not know many people and your sig. other cannot go, or you don't have one. Why is it strange to invite a guest to keep you company??

a guest is a guest-JPSGIRL-not to me

It just seems common sense to me that people are paying by the head for the function, that you just don't bring any old person. I was brought up that a guest on an invite indicated a date, not a family member. I have gone to weddings alone, despite being invited with a guest, and never would have thought that the invite, as extended, meant I could bring just anyone with me. To me 'guest' was an *implied* meaning; not to mention it is just being considerate of the person paying for the event. I think this thread on the board in itself proves that point.

a guest is a guest-JPSGIRL-not to me

In my particular case I will be annoyed because the guest that I am referring to is married but will choose to bring her daughter in place of her husband. It annoys me because my FI and I are paying for the wedding ourselves and there are many people that we aren't inviting with a guest because they dont have a significant other. It will look very bad when certain people (who may be closer to us than this specific co-worker) must show up alone while a co-worker shows up with her daughter. It makes things difficult for us.

If there is NO ring, no Bring......

Well, I have to say I have gone to weddings with my mother before because her boyfriend didn't want to or couldn't go. But these have all been family functions anyway and I didn't think it was a big deal. In fact my mother is asking if I want to come to her cousin's wedding in CA this summer. Why should anyone care? And...family members aren't just 'any old person'. I'd rather someone bring a relative than just any old date. Regardless -- we just should not be expected to invite guests for single dates. I had several people send back their response cards with added numbers of people who weren't even invited in the first place. You are always going to have people who assume they are allowed to invite someone or there whole family. If you can afford to that is great -- but if you can't -- go about it the best way possible.

Diana

I invited a high-school friend to my wedding, with 'guest' since she and her BF had been dating about 4 years. Well she responded '2' and there on my wedding day was her and her best friend. (BF had to work). I felt weird with this girl I never invited at my wedding, but I was happy that if thats what made my friend happy.

Inviting guests with dates

I have to agree with SonicStef. It's not fun to be invited without a guest. It makes you feel like an outcast in some situations - like you couldn't get a date or something. If you choose not to bring someone, that is different. We are also paying for the wedding ourselves and will be inviting everyone with a guest - whether they are single or in a relationship.

About bringing a sibling..

DH and I have been dating since I was 20, (got married at 26) so I never really needed to bring a sibling or a date for that matter. (before that, I and all of my siblings were single, so we all had eachother at weddings, and knowing everyone there, we never thought twice about not having a date back then..) HOWEVER, i really dont see what WOULD be wrong or strange about bringing a sibling to a wedding as a guest. My siblings and I are very close, and I would rather have one of them to talk to, than calling up an old guy friend that I havent seen in ages, just to have someone to walk in with and fill in the seat next to me. Now that is stranger than anything. How do you introduce the person ?? LOL. and talk about feeling used, poor guy! (sorry just my opinion). I had a friend years ago that had a different 'stand in' guy for every occasion just to have a DATE. It was thought of as her having a different boyfriend every month (Which was not the case)... So any topic can be up for debate one way or the other... and who are we to judge if someone brings a date of the same sex, whether or not its truly their 'date'.. I wont go further on that on.. To each his own.. :) Just enjoy your day and let your guests do what makes them happy and relaxed and able to enjoy your big day.

About bringing a sibling..

I agree with Vicki and Anna. I once had my date cancel two days before the wedding-(ofcourse I called the bride right away to let her know) but even though I was seated at a table with my brother and his girlfriend-every time there was a slow song - I felt like a lepper sitting there by myself-it would have been nice to have company if I had brought a friend. Besides, How do you know if the opposite sex guests are really dates or just friends of the opposite sex-I`ve known people just to ask male friends rather than go to an event by themselves-whats the difference between that and bringing a girlfriend or sibling?

Inviting guests with dates

i guess this is just one of those subjects with many different strong opinions. like i said up above, I respect everybody''''''''s opinion, i was just curious why some people thought it was rude to bring a sibling or friend. You made some good points, but I still don''''''''t think there''''''''s anything wrong with people chosing whatever guest they want. maybe you should invite Ms. Jane Smith and Mr. Robert Jones if you only want Jane to bring her boyfriend and nobody else....

Ones we invited without guests

The people we invited without guests were people we knew were not dating anyone and we knew would know most of the people at wedding anyway so they will definitely not be alone-they'll be hanging out with all of their friends. Single people that will not know anyone we invited with a guest.

Diana

I don't know WHY I am putting my 2 cents in here because I know it's a little heated on this thread! Diana, I think you are going through the normal rites of passage with this. It's super hard to keep your head when you are footing the bill! My FSIL wanted me to invite her mother and a guest (both of whom I don't know at all) to watch after her kids so she could enjoy the party! It gets overwhelming. The best advice I can give is pick a plan and stick to it. As a general rule, it would seem that work people will have each other to 'hang with' with or without a guest. I guess some other rule would apply to one or a few people that just dont' know anybody else. Be selective and be patient, but more than anything - it's okay to have a feeling on this. I know we all want to be gracious and fair because we're all good people - and unfortunately the mighty dollar coupled with the stress (and the freaking diet we are all on!) tends to get the best of us. Good luck dear!

Jenny: Good words of wisdom

You made me laugh with that diet part. I'm already married but I am on WW and can understand all of the stress!

A wedding is a personal intimate affair ...

I mean marriage is one of the most important decisions you will make in your life and the people that know and love you would want to share that with you, NOT people you have never seen or ever will see again after the wedding. I personally feel that it should be filled with the love of your friends and family. I personally invited all my single girlfriends with dates because it was a small wedding about 100 people and we fit it into the budget, however the week before the final head count they all decided to come stag! I was happy about that because it was about them enjoying our day as being united as husband and wife not about who they can drink and socialize with, it's a tough call because I would never want to go to a wedding by myself either (when I was single) but if the bride wanted it that way and there were other people there stag as well, then how can I not go to a dear friend's wedding....It is a hard decision and it comes down to dollars and cents, you ladies will be surprised how many people you will invite with guests and they will come alone, or not come at all! Good Luck

I agree 100% with nubride *NM*

Anna

I can understand if your friend responded 2, but then her BF had to work, and she brought a friend. To respond 2 from the start, for a sister, considering we are paying for this ourselves, and she is a coworker of my FMIL, I dunno....I guess all this talk about it makes me just want to invite without a guest for my FMIL's office people. *My* coworkers aren't even bringing long-term BFs, even though they were already told it was budgeted for, to save us plates. Thanks for all the pro and con responses. I was just going to invite with guest and rely on my FMIL to make it known that it meant long-term relationship guest, but I think I will cut my problems and just invite without guest.

Jenny

I hear what you are saying, and I appreciate your kind words. I just have never heard of bringing a sibling. Ever. Maybe it is a Long Island/ NYC thing. Maybe it is because we are paying, although if my father was paying I would probably feel the same way. Again, thanks to all for helping me hash out exactly who will get to bring a guest and who won't ;-)

On the flipside...

On the flipside of what I said before,(that guests should be able to bring someone if they want). I also know some of my friends that are single would think it strange had I put '& guest' on their invite, knowing that they are not dating someone. It may have been like saying 'find a boyfriend' and maybe even offended some of them. I would have felt that way if it was done to me before I met DH. I was perfectly content going with my family. I only put '& guest' when I knew they had a signif other. For all the singles (that didnt know eachother), I made a singles table, which I told them about ahead of time and worked out really well. I also made a childrens table which the 5 and up kids (and the moms) LOVED. It was about 5 kids and 5 teens, some were siblings so it worked out well. Diana, I can see your point about your FMIL's coworkers. I might only invite THEM (no guest) since they are all from work and will chat with eachother,(tough decision) and especially since you dont know any of them. My sis had a HS friend of ours at her wedding, that brought a guest (and she was invited only herself, she has never had a long term BF) and she brought this annoying kid from high school that we were kinda shocked to see there (we never knew him, he was from a different crowd). He acted like an idiot, and was her beer buddy (they never grew up 10 years later). That was a little cheesy, so i can see the other side of the argument here. Also, she had 3 couples/very very close friends that were at her table, she had PLENTY of chat-buddies. I guess she wanted her drinking buddy there.(ugh). This decision is something that I guess is made on a case-by-case basis. It depends on the person, how close you are to them, do they have a signif other, etc etc. Good luck in whatever you choose to do.