Inviting guests with dates

My Fiancee and I are paying for our wedding by ourselves and I am up in the air about inviting people that are not dating anyone with a date. You will be amazed that people expect you to invite total strangers to the wedding. I have to cut the list somewhere, so we both figured we would invite them if they are together at least a year, or if they are living together, or engaged. I do not want to pay for strangers at my own wedding as well, as seeing strangers in my wedding album. Any feedback would be helpful. Thanks!

I'm kinda doing that....

With the people that I work with I am only inviting couples if they are in a serious relationship. I am only doing this for work people though as i figure that if they come alone they will still know all the other work people there. I am not doing this with the other guests as just in case they don't know anyone else at least I know they will have one other person to talk to.

Inviting guests with dates

We are doing the same thing. We are inviting people with dates if they have been together awhile or are living together.

Inviting guests with dates

I did exactly what you are suggesting. Only guests with serious boyfriends/girlfriends, engaged or living together. I felt exactly the same way and no one has since said anything negative to me about it. Of course they may have said it under there breath but ..:-) I don't see anything wrong with your decision -- it's a lot of money to pay for someone you or your guests barely know.

Inviting guests with dates

Hi, I know what you mean-we had the same problem. We decided to invite all single cousins and friends without a guest, unless they've been together a long time, living tog., etc. We sent out our family invites first because we had such a big list; most of the single cousins replied no because they couldn't bring a guest. So, we were able to invite some of our single friends with a guest. You wouldn't believe how many family members called up to see if they could bring someone? Happy Planning, Helen

Inviting guests with dates

I invited people with guests only if I new that they were in relationships. However, even those people I didn't invite with a guest called and asked if they could bring one! It was very difficult for me to say no - it's a very weird situation. I definitely think it's fine to invite people without a guest, but be prepared for people to respond they are bringing someone or asking you if they can bring one! It's the same situation with bringing kids!!! People don't care.

Devil's Advocate...

I have been invited to weddings without a date where I barely knew anyone. I always felt like those invitations were purely a call for gifts since there was no way I was going to spend hours all by myself at wedding. I think its totally the couples' call when inviting people but my suggestion is to consider each guest when making these cuts. If a the guests has a built in network then its not much of a problem, but inviting someone who doesn't know many people dateless will result in that person not coming or not enjoying themselves. I will be inviting my guests with dates no matter what their situation.

Inviting guests with dates

We are paying for our wedding too, but we are inviting almost everyone with guests, the only people I am not inviting with guests are some co-workers I know are single (if they arent by time of sending invites, will invite with guest) and some younger cousins. Its hard to distinguish who is in a serious relationship or not. Hopefully those close to us who are not dating anyone will not bring table fillers, most wont and if they do its fine. I want everyone to be happy. Its a personal decision and I dont want to piss anyone off. and if I invite one friend with a date and one not, It would not be fare.

I invited everyone with guests

We're also playing for the wedding ourselves, but I didn't want to decide how significant the person they were dating was. I don't think how long they've been dating is necessarily relevant (my parents were engaged after only a month!). And I thought everyone should get the same opportunity to bring a date regardless of their relationship status. We invited every single person with a guest (even if we knew they weren't dating anyone). Only 2 of those not in relationships are bringing 'dates'. I've been on the receiving line of the no guest thing, and I never liked it. So I didn't want to put my guests in that situation. I think what you're doing is fine - it just wasn't for us. Just a different perspective.

Susanlynn - I totally agree with you

My FI and I simply cannot afford to pay for all of our single friends to bring dates. And a lot of our friends are notoriously single, but would bring some random person anyway. The only two exceptions I am making are for my college roomate who will only know a few people there, hasn`t seen any of those people in several years, and is traveling. I am also going to invite all of the single BMs and GM with dates. Of course that is easy becuase most of them are married! But, I agree, I don`t want to pay for strangers to attend my wedding. Becky

I invited everyone with guests-Unique problem

I told my FMIL that she could invite whomever she wanted from her office, as her family is very small. Many are single, but I told her I would invite with then with a guest. FH and I are paying, BTW. She told me that 2 people didn't have dates, but would bring their SISTERS!!! I lost it! Who brings a SISTER as a guest to a wedding? Don't people know better? I told her that I could not justify this, as they would know all the other people from her office. She asked how I would discourage this, and I told her it was up to *her* to set them straight that a guest meant a date, not a family member. I thought I was in the twilight zone. Now I am thinking of not putting 'and Guest' on the invites to her office. Has anyone ever heard of such a thing?

Diana

I have never heard of such a thing! Who would want to invite a sibling? That's like having to take your cousin to a prom! In that case, I think they should come alone but it is up to your FMIL to tell them that.

Diana.. a guest is a guest

I agree with angie3, I love my sis but wouldn't think of bringing her to a wedding. On the other hand you dont know the relationshoip these people have with their co-workers. They may be friendly with your FMIL and thats it. If you have sent the invites out with 'and guest' you might think twice about un-inviteing the guest. If you havent sent the invites out yet - you know what to do.

I agree with Sonicstef and berlykim...

It helps to have a date if you don't know many people well at a wedding. If nothing else, there is at least 1 person there for you to dance/talk with. I am on the shy side in some situations, and when I was single I would never have attended a wedding dateless, unless it was for a close friend or family member. I need a support network! : ) Also, who are we to decide who's relationship is 'serious'? For the first 2 years I dated my husband, our relationship was very casual. Neither of us was quite ready to commit, but we were still perceived as a 'couple', although we didn't consider ourselves one. You really can't judge a book by it's cover.

Not Inviting guests w/ dates

Luckily we have very few single friends and they all know someone else, so we are not inviting a guest for anyone. I did however, ask a couple of my closest friends openly if they wanted to bring someone, but they don't have anyone to bring, and they are happy going alone. If by June, someone wants to invite a guest, they will probably ask me, and I'd be happy to invite them. I thought my being honest about the cost was the best thing, and since they are my friends they understand, we are paying ourselves, etc. So, my 2 cents is that if you can't afford it, you can't afford it, and be honest about it, your guests should be understanding. If you can afford to invite strangers, then why not invite everyone.

Not Inviting guests w/ dates

We are inviting single people with guests. I agree with everyone that says going to a wedding alone is no fun unless you know a lot of people there. As for the people bringing their sisters, while it may not be what you expected, a 'guest' is a guest. Like we cannot determine how seriously someone is dating, we cannot dictate who they will bring for company.

That should be inviting w/ guests:) *NM*

That should be inviting w/ guests:) *NM*

wow, first off, I have to say, I have brought my brother to several weddings!! These are weddings where I didn't know anyone, or where I knew the people I'd be sitting with all had dates and I was not dating anyone. I seriously never thought twice about it! It's just someone to talk to, to be your 'guest' at an affair - if you invite with a guest, who that guest is should be at the person's discretion!! I think most people know wedding etiquitte these days, and gift accordingly, ie twice as much if they bring someone. Also to comment on the serious relationship thing, I would like to not invite anyone who doesn't have a boyfriend/girlfriend with a guest, but since it's not many, I am just doing it so I don't have to feel bad - my fiance and I have been together 9 months, we were engaged after 8, so you really can't go by the year thing. Good luck!!

Diana.. a guest is a guest

I have been to weddings where people have done that. I personally would be bothered if someone did that at my wedding. As a matter of fact I suspect that a guest that I invite will bring her daughter rather then her husband but what am I supposed to do? I know that she is married but I also know that her husband does not like to go out so she brings her 26 year old daughter to functions with her. It will annoy be but a guest is a guest.

Diana.. a guest is a guest

My boss recently bought her son to my wedding as her guest. Thought it was a little strange.